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The Name Game!

Did you have any pressure from relatives to name your baby after a certain person or did your family express disapproval with your choice? If so, how did you handle it? Here's what our members said . . . Visit our web links page for Baby Names Database and check out what the StorkNet popular names for 2003, popular names for 2002, popular names for 2001, popular names for 2000, popular names for 1999 and popular names for 1998 are.

diaper pin From Kristin . . . I am so glad today that we did not listen to every bit of advice friends or family members gave when choosing names for our children. If we would have, today my 5 and 6 year olds would be nameless! I am still pleased today with my daughter's and my son's names, and hope that we make as good a decision on baby #3. With my daughter, Morgan, I was told by many older family members that this was a boy's name. Going to high school in the 80s, it reminded me of Morgan Fairchild, not Morgan Freeman! In 1991 and 92, Morgan was not an extremely popular name, nor was it a rarely used one. That was what I was looking for: a middle of the road, classic sounding name that would carry my daughter from childhood into the business world some day. It was also Welsh, which is part of my heritage, and blended well with our last name.

With my son the next year, my first qualification was choosing a name that blended well with Morgan. At first I thought I needed a name of the same letter to go with her name, but could not find any names that I liked that were Welsh, English or Irish, and began with an "M". My husband finally gave me his list of 3 names that I must choose from if we wanted to agree. I thought I hated all 3 names! One of the names I "hated" was Evan. However, after reluctantly looking up the name "Evan" in my baby name book, I found that I loved the meaning of the name, and that it was Welsh as well. It also blended extremely well with Morgan (both ending in "an"). After a few more months of pregnancy, I grew to think of my son as "Evan" and grew to love the name that he would be called.

Today all family members agree that my children could not be anything but Morgan and Evan! So follow your gut instinct when naming your child, tempering it with considerations like your last name, pronunciation and spelling ease, and sibling names.

diaper pin From Rebecca . . . I was ready to start working on baby names long before my husband was ready, so I got a couple of baby name books and wrote down every name that so much as caught my eye. I found that it also depended on my mood because upon reading the list later, I could not believe some that I wrote down!

Since my husband wasn't interested yet, and I wanted some input (I also wanted my family to feel involved), I let everyone submit their "votes" on the names I had chosen. Most of them just marked the names they liked, although my mother also marked the ones she didn't like. People warned me of words that rhymed with some of the names and I found this to be helpful. Everyone has been very supportive so far, saying that no matter what we name the baby, they'll love it just as much.

However, as soon as my husband's family found out I was pregnant, they all thought we should name the baby after his grandfather. His name was Earl. They would have big meetings about it! His mother thinks we should name our baby after her. Sometimes I'm not sure if she is joking or not. My husband and I want a current, but not trendy name. We feel some of the older names are truly outdated and that the child would get teased a lot for having one of them. We also decided not to name the baby after anyone we knew (family or otherwise). It has limited our choices some, and I am sure his family will be a little disappointed, but we feel we have to think of the baby - and it is our choice. You have to stand up for your position.

diaper pin From Alison . . . At some point during our first pregnancy, we decided that the baby's initials would be J.E.P. wether we had a girl or boy. If the baby were male, his name would be Jeffrey Ethan. After going through every possible "J" name for a girl, we finally decided on Jordan and picked the middle name Emory after my husband's great grandfather. (I was named after my grandfather so we were also trying to carry on a tradition from my side of the family, too.) We decided not to tell anyone the names until late in our pregnancy so there would be little time for debate or "suggestions". The families kind of rolled their eyes at our choices so we placated them by saying that we'd decide when we saw the baby to make sure that he or she fit her name. On December 7, 1994 our beautiful daughter was born . . . she looked exactly like a Jordan Emory to us!!

We're now in the 1st trimester of our 2nd pregnancy . . . this baby is due on November 30th. We're still going with J.E.P. for a male child, but we're going to use the whole alphabet for a female!! We've decided that we're not going to give out the real name this time . . . maybe we'll make something up to keep them guessing!! If you decide that you like a name then stand your ground no matter what your parents or in-laws think of it!! After all, you're the parent!!

diaper pin From Rebecca . . . My husband and I have had baby names picked out for what seems like forever: Madeleine Elizabeth for a girl, and Brendan Michael for a boy. I've always loved the name Madeleine, and Elizabeth is in honor of my grandmother. We both liked the name Brendan, and Michael is my husband's name. We joke that if we have two boys, we're in trouble, because neither of us can come up with a second boy's name that we can both agree on! Well, everybody we have shared those names with has liked them, or at least been polite enough to pretend that they do, except for my mother-in-law. The first time we told them to her, a couple of years ago (when we first decided we wanted children), she made a face and said nothing. Now that we're pregnant, she asked again, and when we told her, she was silent, then said "I've never heard of the name Brendan before." I told her it was a good Irish name (I love all things Irish), and that I thought it was very masculine, and she said, "Oh, and you're so Irish." That was her *only* response to the whole thing! I wish I had had a good comeback, but I just chose to ignore her, even though she did hurt my feelings. Luckily, my family and our other friends have been very supportive. :-)

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diaper pin From Bill . . . Ever since my wife and I were married, we had discussed what we would name our baby if we were to become pregnant. After 10 years it happened last September, my wife is due anytime now. If we have a girl, we're going to name her Monica; if we have a boy, the name will be Matthew. Ever since my wife was a little girl she had liked the name Monica; she had told me she had often wished her own name was Monica. For this reason I agreed that Monica would be the best choice. Matthew was chosen for a boy for almost the same reason; I had always liked the name since childhood and my wife felt the same that Matthew would be an excellent choice. The only resistance we got from the family was from my mother. She disliked both our choices. Although she hasn't said it, I know my mother wants a girl to be named Elizabeth, after my sister who died three months after she was born. If we had a boy, my mother wants us to name him Robert I'm sure, after my brother who died 6 years ago. Since I am a junior named after my deceased father, my mother would also like us to name a boy William after me so the boy would be William the 3rd. This most recent name, William, my mother has stooped so low as to tell my wife, behind my back, to name the child William III because "that is what your husband wants, he just doesn't know it yet!" What my mother doesn't know is that I had already discussed this with my wife and I am very much opposed to it. My wife and I had prepared for my mother's pressure beforehand since we did anticipate it. We decided we wanted our baby to have a name of his or her own. While it is a nice gesture to name a baby after relatives, living or dead, we feel it is unfair to the baby not to give him or her its own identity. It was confusing enough for me to be named after my father while growing up and to have a third Bill in the family is too much! Naming a baby after relatives, especially those who are deceased, one should think of why they are doing it. The deceased person won't return to life in your baby and honoring those who have passed on can be done in other ways, why placed it on your child's shoulders. The child would always have the stigma of that other person's name, not their own. If you feel pressured, stand firm on your ground, politely tell those who are needling you that you want your baby to have an identity of its own. I want to be able to tell my child that his or her name was chosen by mom and dad because it was our favorite names, not, well, we named you after such and such because we were pressured to.

diaper pin From Sarah Jane . . . When I was about 7 months along, my husband's grandfather suddenly got it into his head that the baby was going to be named "Alice," for his wife who had passed away 8 months before. He would call everyday, sometimes more than once a day, to let us know that it "sure would be an honor." We had picked out the name "Amy Marie" before we were ever married and didn't intend to change it. It got down to the last minute because I had to be induced, and when my husband talked to his grandfather to tell him we were going to the hospital to have the baby, we were told once again that it needed to be "Alice." It was a tremendous amount of pressure, but we had the support of our parents, and we decided that it was our child, and although we both loved Grandmother and revered her memory, we would name her the name of our choice, and hoped that once Grandpa heard, he would leave it alone. We still battled for a month or so after the birth, getting phone calls that said he had her picture and called her "Alice," but I tired of it and told him that she was his angel baby, and then he called her Angel, which was somehow okay with me. This was a very difficult thing for us to get through, and there was a lot of anguish and soul-searching done, but we knew what we wanted, and I am so glad we stuck with it.

diaper pin From Shane . . .My wife and I had a great idea that seems to be working. We both realized early on that there would be trouble with naming our son. No matter what we would have chosen, we were sure that we would be given "suggestions." Rather than trying to please our families, we had decided NOT to give out the name. After hearing the initial "Come on and tell us, we won't get mad," we still had decided not to say. What we did however was give give the initials of our son-to-be, S.T.B. Boy, did the relatives really have fun! We received many cards and letters wishing the well-being of: Stanislaus, Stephenapolis, and Scar Tissue. I believe it has worked out. At least until my wife delivers mid-May. But at least by then, it will be too late.....

diaper pin From Ursula . . . We'll be having a baby girl in August, and of course we have already picked out a name. We first told my husband's family and they liked the name fine, but keep telling us that we'll probably want to change our minds about it. I don't understand this. AND they also are a bit perturbed that we found out the sex of our baby, so whenever we mention the words "her" or "she" or our chosen name for her, they correct us and say "Oh, you mean the baby," refusing to acknowledge that she is indeed a she. At first this really bothered me, but I just let it go. It isn't worth the stress while I'm pregnant. But, it did change the way we handled my parents. We simply decided not to tell my family what we had decided to name our baby, eliminating any of the "You're going to name her WHAT?!?" reactions. But of course now my parents are deciding what she should be named, and that is a little annoying. My grandma has even started calling our baby "Katy." And while that is a fine name, it is not the name we have chosen. In the end we feel that we have chosen the name and that is what it will be. Neither of our families should influence our feelings in a negative way. We just simply listen to them, smile and nod, and then go the way we have already chosen. It can be hard to do, but it is much easier than creating a big to-do over something soooo small.

diaper pin From Hunter Rose . . . My whole family threw hissy fits about my choice of names when we found out I was carrying a boy. At Christmas they all made it loudly known that his name was going to be too long and as some "MACHO MAN" cousins put it, "too queer." I told them all I didn't care what anyone else thought. I made a promise, and I would keep it. My son was named after my childhood best friend who died when we were 15. My friend's name was Jared Ulysses. He had talked to me about naming his firstborn son Sebastian because he thought it was cool. When he died (car wreck) I promised his mother at his funeral that I would name my son after him. A lot of girls said the same thing but none knew his secret desire to have a son. The shock for me was when I found out I was having a boy because my due date (Feb 26) was the same as my friend Jared's (would have been) 21st birthday. When I explained to my family that they could call him Jared instead of his full name, they calmed down especially when I explained the reasoning. So (BTW he was very impatient, both of my Jareds were) Sebastian Jared Ulysses Croft was born on January 31, 1998, a month early and as sweet as can be. Now my family adores his name though they still think Seabastian is "queer." Sorry, they are old macho man hicks.

diaper pin From Jenea . . . When I told my in-laws what we were naming our baby girl, my mother-in-law said that she hated it because she and my father in-law weren't going to be able to spell it right. I asked her how anyone could NOT know how to spell Samantha Jane. She just gave me a dirty look and proceeded to THEN tell me that we should choose another name. My mother on the other hand didn't really say anything except that she didn't like it. But this was OUR baby, not their's and we could name the baby anything we wanted to.

diaper pin From Amanda . . . I always wanted to name my firstborn after my uncle (my mother's twin brother) who died when he was in his 20's when I was young-Daniel for a boy or Daniela for a girl. When the time came to name our baby, my husband didn't like either names-we both did like Jakob for a boy so I pointed out that if we named him Jakob Daniel, my husband and son would have the same initials....and he really liked that idea. After Jakob's birth, I told my grandparents (my mothers parents) what we had named our son, thinking that they would be happy to have their son's name carried on. They were instead upset that his first name was not Daniel! UUUGGGGGG.....anyway, to this day my grandparents call him Daniel, in fact after his birth they sent a savings bond to Daniel! I understand their ways-at the age of 27 I am still called Amy, and my name is Amanda Lee! I've stopped trying to understand and just accept.

diaper pin From Andrea . . . I wanted a name that was unique but not weird, and definitely not one of those 'trendy' names. I had an on-line buddy named Ethan and really took a liking to the name. My family didn't like it at first though. They were constantly offering suggestions and it turned into a nightly ritual at the dinner table . . . and with two younger brothers, I'm sure you can imagine how ridiculous some of the names would get! My mom wanted me to name the baby one of the names she would have liked for her children but never got to use. (I was almost a Lauren, so that was my choice for a girl) Of course the middle name would be either my Mom's (Kathleen) or Dad's (Robert), so there was no argument there. I was adamant about naming a boy Ethan and didn't let anyone change my mind . . . after all, I was the one going through the pain, so I got to choose! Well, the more everyone heard the name, the more they liked it. Now nobody can imagine calling him anything but Ethan, well, except maybe a TOTAL CUTIE!!! If you like something, stick with it. Don't worry about what anyone else says.

diaper pin From VivianKinn . . .My husband and I picked out the names Megan Kirby and Stephen Ray for our first child. Our daughter was born October 22, 1983, 19 days after the death of my mother. I was under a lot of pressure to name her "Cassie" after my Mom. I just couldn't do it. I couldn't imagine calling out my Mom's name everyday so soon after her death. So instead of naming her Megan Kirby, a name we chose because we liked it and wouldn't offend anyone in the family by not naming the child after them, we named her after my grandmother who passed away 8 days before I was born in 1965. Laura Emily. This in turn made some of my mother's family angry but they would just have to understand. Besides, I would have more children and would use her name eventually.

Eventually turned into years. In 1992, after 9 years we were finally pregnant!!! This child was a boy. I decided on John Brandon. My brother is John, and a little sweetheart I babysat for was Brandon. The day that labor started my husband kept playing Wynonna Judd's "No One Else On Earth over and over again. I told him if he didn't stop it Wynonna was going to put me into labor. I didn't know at the time but labor had already started. I thought it was a backache. My brother called just after the birth and asked what we named the baby. I told him I still hadn't decided . . . either John Brandon or Brandon John. My brother got kind of angry and it felt as though he laid a guilt trip on me. When I hung up the phone I thought "forget you buddy!" Then came the papers, I put down Brandon but couldn't decide on a middle name. My husband asked "Why not Judd?" He had told the labor story so many times that day that Judd sounded wonderful! Brandon Judd.

In 1994, the next child was also a boy. I wanted to name him Jacob Allan Cassidy Kinner. J.A.C.K. my husbands name. Jack didn't like it so we cut out the Cassidy :( After an ectopic pregnancy in 1995, I was pregnant again in 1997. I put my foot down and told my husband that this child would be named after my Mother if it was a girl. He had no choice but to agree. In the meantime he was positive it would be a boy! He had been doing family tree research and decided to name our "son" Rodham McKenzie (Rodham came from Elizabeth Rodham who married Richard Kinner in 1620 England. They had a son, Richard Rodham and so began the family tradition of using the mother's maiden name. Rodham also became a popular family name.) I started telling friends that my husband chose an old family name, and I wished he would find an old family to give it to!

In our 8th month we found out we were having a girl!!! Finally, after nearly 14 years, a GIRL!!! She is Cassie (as in sassy for my Mom) and Elizabeth (after the first Rodham to marry a Kinner) Cassie Elizabeth Kinner!! I still find it difficult to call out my Mother's name so we call her Beth or Lil' Beth. After 5 pregnancies, 4 births and 14 years...everybody is happy!

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