"Our
firstborn son was three weeks old when I wrote, with a feeling
of mingled regret and relief, 'Fortunately, most of the intense
effects are over now.' After Devon's birth, my awareness changed
in ways I never anticipated. I had tried to prepare for birth
and motherhood, but no book or article or friend explained all
that happened in those first three weeks. Something had been left
out of common knowledge--where did I fit in? Did other new
parents go through changes like these? I needed to know; so when
Deven was four years old, I began gathering other people's stories."
Elisabeth
Hallett's collection of stories and contributions help bring quiet
confusion, unspoken experiences and tumultuous emotions out of
the darkness and into the light. They are shared so that new parents
may find it easier to become more aware of the changes occurring
in and around themselves, both small and profound, during that
first year. We are able to view these events with a new lens and
find the beauty and strength behind the many quiet moments and
transitions we experience. Some are concerning, most are beautiful,
touching, spiritual and they change our lives.
The author
has so clearly addressed the elements of awareness in those first
few days. Mothers she spoke with talked about the experience of
being so very caught up in the present time and savoring each
moment. She speaks of total absorption in the new baby and the
bonding that takes place as parent and child capture each other's
presence. One mother described this feeling as if she and her
baby were one. Other women speak of their vivid sensations they
experienced the moment they identified and connected with their
infant. Other women discuss a feeling of loss or detachment when
a birth wasn't as "perfect" as the plan they created.
Through these stories the reader discovers the importance of allowing
for the unexpected, identifying and understanding a new range
of emotions, and embracing what is. These are some of the many
gifts of motherhood that allow us to become whole.
Hallett includes
discussion about post partum depression, loss of sexual interest,
tiredness beyond exhaustion, sensory changes, visionary experiences--concerns
and events that many women are afraid to ask about or discuss
with each other. The reader is able to realize the possibilities
of growth and change in spite of these natural but difficult experiences
during the newborn year.
Each chapter
covers emotional territory many new parents travel through at
some time, but often forget about or never discuss. This book
does more than heighten our awareness and jog our memory. It opens
up a world of discussion and prepares expectant parents in a way
that allows them to notice everything, prepare for unexpected
gifts and lavish in a period of time that lasts forever in our
hearts.
Review by Nancy Eggleston
From the back jacket:
We know so little about the first meeting between parent and
newborn. We're experts by comparison on the love stories of
man and woman, a million variations of by-meets-girl. But
what about this other romance? How many poems and songs have
celebrated the moments when the newborn relationship begins?
In
recent years there has been a tremendous surge of public awareness
about the mental and emotional problems mothers can experience
during the year after childbirth. This recognition is life-saving
and long overdue.
However
we need to know that this stage of a woman's life ca also
bring creative and liberating changes. In the newborn year
the possibilities of breakdown and breakthrough are closely
related.
Elisabeth
Hallett is also the author of Stories of the Unborn Soul: The Mystery and Delight of Pre-birth Communication
and Soul Trek, Meeting our Children on the Way To Birth
To Purchase:
• In the Newborn Year at Amazon.com
• In the Newborn Year at Amazon UK
• In the Newborn Year at Amazon.ca (Canada)
