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StorkNet's Bookshelf
Keeping the Baby Alive Till Your Wife Gets Home
by Walter Roark

The back of this book bears a warning: "Caution: This book is FOR MEN ONLY! It contains secrets about child-rearing only a father should read..." As a mom and grandmother, I must agree that the advice and wacky suggestions this book offers up is truly for men only. Any mother who steals a quick glimpse into this book might stamp her feet and wholeheartedly disagree with the humorous advice given regarding the post hospital visit from mother-in-law, for instance. But new fathers will probably carry this book in their briefcase all the way into the men's restroom at work. It will be passed around in brown paper bags and shared only with a promise to pass it on to the next expectant father on the block.

StorkNet's moms have relished in the humorous truth extolled from the pages of The Fourth Trimester, so in fairness, we need to share this wacky guide "created for the undertalented, unappreciated pinch-hitting utility man of team parenting." Author Walter Roark gives an inside view of this role called fatherhood, and adds humorous suggestions, ideas and tips, some with a slightly unbelievable but wacky twist in the form of questionnaires.

The fun starts straight from the birthing suite as readers take 'Pop' quizzes, learn the "Art of Being Anonymous," exercise "poopulation control," explore Newton's unknown laws of infant feeding, examine the perils of infant tyranny, and experience The Leaning Tower of Babble on display daily in the den. Keeping the Baby Alive flies to the finish with a step-by-step guide to the mysteries of baby games, secretly passed down mother to mother through millennia.

Sample questionnaire from the book

Question: You come home late from a hard day at the office and find Aunt Ethel camped out by the crib, teaching your little boy how to say cute things like "boo-boo" and "pee-pee." Should you? (a) Politely state that those words are slightly silly and you'd prefer it if Baby didn't learn them (b) Inform Auntie that hearing "pee-pee" makes you sick to your stomach, then prove it on her robe (c) Smack Aunt Ethel in the face and tell her to mind her own business (d) Say, "Son, the correct usage for those words is 'injury' and 'urinate.' Please make a mental note." The answer is, of course, (d). Because answer (a) would cause family friction, (b) would create a scene and (c) would provoke a lawsuit... (d) is the only possible alternative.

Keeping Baby Alive is illustrated by the author's own daughter, Megan. You can write to father or daughter right on their website. This lighthearted and humorous book makes a fun and very tempting gift for any expectant father!

Book review by StorkNet Staff

To Purchase:
   • Keeping the Baby Alive Till Your Wife Gets Home at
   • Keeping the Baby Alive Till Your Wife Gets Home at Amazon UK
   • Keeping the Baby Alive Till Your Wife Gets Home at Amazon Canada

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