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Attachment Parenting

What do you LOVE about APing?
From Our AP Forum Archives
Confused by the archive abbreviations? Click here to check out the acronym list from our boards!

From SusanH ~ I'm having a bad day so I thought I'd start a happy poll. What do you absolutely love about being an AP parent? Here are some of my favorite things:

  • seeing Susy learn to be gentle and loving towards us as she models our behavior towards her
  • watching her develop into a bright, curious and independent child, one who is secure in the knowledge that I'm here if she needs me
  • those special moments that only co-sleepers can share!
  • freaking out my family with more of Susan's Patented Weird Lifestyle Quirks
  • being so in tune with Susy's personality and needs that even without speech I always know what she is asking for and what she needs

From CherylO ~ I love it when I can see the trust in her eyes. She KNOWS that her needs will be met because she has never had to experience anything else. I also like the liberty of not having to follow any rules which obviously don't make sense.

From JenT ~ I love the sweetness that (usually) accompanies co-sleeping. I love trying to see the world through her eyes and understand why she does what she does and acts the way that she does. For me, the AP philosophy has really encouraged me to try and stay in touch with dd and her point of view. I love being OK with following my instincts instead of a book or prescribed set of rules. I love hearing from other people how delightful daughter is and knowing that in some small way, our parenting must be contributing to that.

From Molly Hankins ~ When my son comes up to me, touches the hem of my shirt and says, "Nu?" when he wants to nurse.

  • The great feeling you get when you know that your child is READY, truly ready, to take the next in development (e.g, sleep through the night or go down to sleep without rocking, or potty training, or weaning).
  • Waking up with your baby tucked under your armpit! The smell of your baby, your significant other, and yourself all mixed together, in the same bed.
  • And although we should never compare children, it does feel good to see that your (older) child is at least as independent, happy and well-behaved as another child who was Ezzo-fied or Ferberized (I guess that one is a little sad too).

From Mamax3 ~ I love the trust that ds has developed. He smiles all of the time knowing that his needs will be met. I love waking up in the morning with him looking at me and smiling; he wakes up first and just looks at me. I love how, when I am working in the kitchen or laundry room with him in his sling or on my hip, he watches everything I am doing and reaches for objects that I am working with as though he is going to help me. I love how APing him has made me AP his 2 older siblings even more and makes me a more patient mommy because I understand their needs a little better. I love the example I am setting for my children. The 2 older children AP one another and the baby if mommy or daddy are tied up with something. I love watching my 2 year old daughter AP her baby dolls . . . and my 4 year old son APs his favorite teddy bear. I love watching my husband AP not even knowing it has a title. APing is WONDERFUL!

From Patnrose ~ What I Love About AP:

  • I love wearing her in her sling. It's 10x more convenient than the stroller anyway, and Anna loves it too. I think she feels safer than she does in the stroller.
  • Breastfeeding made our mother/daughter bond stronger than I would've never thought imaginable. This is sad for me now too, since she's weaned.
  • I love that Anna E. seems to be "smarter", more physically capable, loving and empathetic than her peers. I attribute this to us spending so much constructive time together.
  • I love waking up to her sweet, smiling face. I love smelling her too just like all you other ladies

From t.anger ~ I love those times when I wake up by a gentle kiss on the mouth and I look up and see my little boy looking down at me smiling. Or those times when I wake up before him and just rub my nose down in his hair and smell him!I love to see my son developing into a living proof that all those people who thought that my parenting style would make my son become spoiled, dependent and insecure were wrong! Now when he is almost a year he has grown up to be a happy, independent, confident and very easy-going little boy. I love to see how he puts his trust in me 100% because we have such a strong relationship. We were involved in a bike-accident a few days ago (nothing serious) and my son was very shocked. But now when I put him in the bike-rear-seat again he is not afraid. He trusts me when I say everything will be alright, because he knows I would never do anything to harm him.

From katgirl67 ~ Waking up with smiles instead of cries. The ease of carrying Max in a sling. The power that comes from following my intuition. The peace of knowing that I am breaking the chain of abuse/neglect. The happiness that comes from finding a parenting style and support from other parents that supports love-centered decisions.

From mom2jazzygirl ~ Two things that Emily does remind me I love this type of parenting. Every night when Emily goes to bed, she picks who is tucking her in. Her final words are, "Carry me like a baby." She wants snuggled in our arms. And, since I want to let her reach independence at her pace, I don't worry that it's a regression since Caleb was born. Instead, we carry her like a baby to remind her that she can be a baby when and if she wants to and we won't be upset with her. My second favorite thing shows me just how much this child trusts me. If Emily wants carried down the stairs, she asks to be carried. As soon as you are in arm's reach (and barely there), she spreads her arms out wide and straight as a board falls forward. There is no hesitation, no forethought or worry about whether she will be caught. She's done this trick for a year and she KNOWS mommy or daddy will simply catch her. For her, that's what its all about.

From Psnyder ~ Some things I love about AP:

  • That sweaty powdery baby smell in the morning.
  • When my daughter and I "nurse" our babies (I nurse my son and she "nurses" her doll).
  • The calmness I feel when I come home from work and nurse my son - It's better than a massage.
  • The kindness I see in my daughter's actions towards other kids.
  • The looks I get in public when I wear my son in my sling
  • The helpless, relaxed look in my son's eyes as he falls asleep nursing.

From CrystalbusyMom ~ I agree with everyone else's positives of AP and only can add I like watching my children interact in a loving AP way.

From oz's mommy ~ I love . . .

  • Sleeping with his little body snuggled into my tummy
  • Wearing him in the sling (and feelin' a bit smug when we see other mommies stroller-wrangling)
  • When he helps me out with a diaper change, and I wrap his bottom is soft clean cotton.
  • Knowing that on each venture out that we have breakfast/lunch/dinner/snacks/refreshments packed securely . . .in my shirt!
  • Watching how solicitous he is with other children . . . "Here, you dropped your, uh, thingy. . . ." he seems to say, as he hands them back a dropped pacifier.
  • Being very in-tune and knowing I can practically read his mind to decipher what he needs, wants or is going to get into next.
  • And also the confidence I feel following my instincts, and not all that silly advice I get . . . I tell ya, it's like hearing another "urban legend" sometimes!!!

From luv2beemom ~ I love that I get tears in my eyes every day when Rachel holds my face and says "I love you, Mommy." I love that even though Fox wasn't born with the same "high needs" as Rachel was, he is starting to really like the sling as if he's thinking "Hey, this is pretty cool!" I love that no matter how many inches separate Fox and I when we go to sleep, we always wake up snuggled tightly together. I love that Rachel will look me directly in the eyes and follow my instructions (usually ) without argument. Along these lines, she made me so proud one day when--here she is just 3 years old---another little girl tried to get her to come away from the baby pool at our subdivision to the big pool, and she said "I can't, my Mommy said no." Everything else is pretty much just like what everyone else said!

From bfmum ~ I love having my son in my arms, close to my heart, while he learns about the world. He has a stroller, and can sit up in the front of the cart now in stores, but we would both much rather be close enough to share whispers and kisses. I can see people thinking "Why is carryingring that baby . . . why doesn't she just put him down somewhere . . . He's big enough to sit still in the cart . . . " etc. etc. etc., but they don't know what they're missing.

I love watching him rub his forehead into my shirt when he's tired to let me know that the only thing in the whole world that he wants is to nurse . . . And I love knowing that I'm the only person who can give him what he wants in that case. He is not a cuddly baby in the least, so sharing the bond of nursing has been extremely special to me, and probably to him, even if he doesn't know it.

I love hearing soft baby noises in my ear as I wake up in the morning, and watching his grin spread a mile wide as I open my eyes and look at him . . . It's like he's saying "Mummy! You're up! I'm soooo happy!!". And he smells like heaven, too.

Most of all, I love knowing that I am doing the best thing for my baby in following MY instincts and treating him with the respect and gentle regard that anyone deserves, most especially a baby. Nothing anyone has said by way of helpful suggestion has fazed me, and I'm proud of that, because I am not in a particularly pro-AP environment.

My baby is who he is, and I love him SO much for that. He will sleep through the night when he sleeps through the night. He will manage chunks when he manages chunks. He will potty train when he potty trains. And I will be by his side encouraging him and loving him every step of the way. The trust and confidence that we have in each other as a result of AP cannot be over-valued.

From Gayesy ~ I love the closeness I feel with my child, the knowledge that even though I make mistakes I am doing the best I can to meet his needs, to help him grow up feeling unconditional love and security. I have loved the years of breastfeeding him, sleeping with his little warm body next to mine, and waking up to gentle kisses or a precious little hand stroking my cheek. I am forever grateful that Thomas led us to AP!

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