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A Nursing Mother's Dream
~ A Message Board Archive

From Celia ~ I'm reminded of the song by the Beach Boys titled "Wouldn't It Be Nice." A piece of the lyrics of that song say:

You know it seems the more we talk about it
It only makes it worse to live without it
But lets talk about it
Wouldn't it be nice

Wouldn't it be nice if we nursing mother's didn't have to worry about poor advice from medical professionals / friends / family / librarians / neighbors?

Wouldn't it be nice if we could nurse outside of the confines of our home and not give it a second thought?

Wouldn't it be great if a session in public with no ill comments or glances felt ordinary instead of like a victory?

Illustrate to us your vision of what a society like this would be like. In many parts of the world, women may already be living this vision . . . feel free to describe the "real thing" if you're one of those women!

From Huntersmommy ~ In a perfect world . . .

People wouldn't ask a new mother, "Are you going to nurse?" It would just be assumed.

All breastfeeding mothers would receive a medal for bravery, courage and commitment.

Businesses would be required to provide a year of paid maternity leave for mothers who choose to breastfeed exclusively. (I bet the number of breastfeeding mothers would go up!)

All breastfeeding mothers would be paired up with a mentor to help them through those difficult first weeks.

Doctors would encourage, support and be knowledgeable about breastfeeding.

Formula companies would send more "gifts" of lotions and good stuff instead of cans of formula to new mothers.

People would think twice before making "helpful" comments to breastfeeding mothers.

I could "whip it out" anytime my son was hungry.

Nursing bras wouldn't be so expensive.

I wouldn't be one of those who is having difficulty losing the pregnancy weight.

Chocolate and ice cream would be a staple for nursing mothers.

Everyone would be able to experience that incredible feeling of rocking in a rocking chair -- your feet up -- as your dear baby contentedly nurses as he drifts slowly into sleep (and don't forget that wonderful nursing grin that causes milk to dribble down his chin).

From kidsrmakinmenuts ~ In a Nursing World?

Nursing bras would come in colors other than white, so Dad can have some eye candy while he waits for "his" playground to be his again.

All stores would have comfy family rooms, where everyone could relax for a while when Baby needs to eat, and then continue to shop leisurely.

Nobody would think twice seeing a mommy feeding a baby in a restaurant, library, park, beach, or anywhere.

Nursing pads would be shaped right.

From lunchbox ~ Breastfeeding supplies would be tax deductible. This might encourage more breastfeeding and would also be "family friendly".

From Celia ~ My fictional rendition of "Living in a Nursing Mother's Dream:"

A friend and I made a lunch date and though my friend was childless, when she picked me up she waited patiently while I nursed the baby despite the fact that it put us behind schedule. We got to the restaurant, and when the waiter noticed the baby he said, "I have a roomy, quiet spot that's perfect for moms with babies. Generally those booths are too cramped to feed a baby." (He, of course, correctly assumed that the baby was breastfed.) After our meal, we decided to head to the mall. The baby napped most of the time, but when she woke up and needed to eat, we were able to head to a special room in the mall designed for comfy nursing. Even the furniture provided there was complimentary from mall stores to make our experience as pleasant and hassle-free as possible. Following that, our trip was at an end, and we decided to head home. I arrived home and could smell dinner cooking from the driveway. It was my husband's daily routine to handle evening duties like cooking dinner since somehow the baby needed to nurse more then. After dinner we gave her a bath, and I nursed her to sleep while my husband quietly examined her little feet. Then, before we turned off the lights, my husband said, "I wish you could nurse her forever."

From Kenetha ~ My dream as a nursing mother is that I wouldn't be looked down on, stared at by old men, and made to feel inferior to formula feeding moms. My dream includes everyone being educated on the specifics and all the benefits of breastfeeding. My dream is that one day I will be able to go in public without being looked at with mean glares as if I'm doing something terrible. My dream is that hospitals all over the world will be more friendly and compliant with the nursing mother's wishes. My dream is that all women receive support from their husbands, families, and friends. My dream is that my children will nurse their own babies. After all, it is the best and most nutritional milk and it's free.

From Valarie ~ Wouldn't it be nice if I could nurse just once in front of my mother without her saying "You'll wean as soon as she starts teething . . . "? (for the record, at almost 10 months, we have only 1/4 of a tooth, no biting has occurred yet!)

From Janessa ~ In a nursing mother's dream world:

Pediatricians, obstetricians and GPs would receive extensive training in medical school on the realities of breastfeeding, the health of breastfed babies and the health of the breastfeeding mothers.

Clinical trials of all new drugs would be conducted with women and breastfeeding mothers in mind. Drugs today are tested on men first because women's biology is too "complicated."

Parents wouldn't think twice about having their children around breastfeeding mothers and babies because they would know that it was modeling good parenting for their kids.

Maternity leave would be at least one year.

Nobody would ask "are you breastfeeding?" because it would just be the norm. Moms who bottle fed would not be looked down on because everyone would understand that they would only be bottle feeding in extremity.

In a breastfeeding mother's dream world, you wouldn't have to make an effort to educate your MIL, your friends or the old guy on the street about the benefits of breastfeeding because everybody would already know.

We wouldn't need to pat ourselves on the back for extended nursing because it would just be the norm.

Nursing clothes would be comfortable, attractive, stylish, inexpensive, readily available and would convert to non-nursing clothes when baby was done nursing.

Our husbands would be supportive, loving and willing to take over the tasks that we were too busy to do because baby needs to eat.

The "babymoon" would be instituted as a cultural norm. Mom and baby would not be expected to do anything but get to know each other for the first six weeks. Siblings would be included, but friends and family would step in to help ease the workload so Mom could concentrate on establishing the new relationship. I could probably go on and on, but that's a good start.

From djk42 ~ Wouldn't it be nice if you were older,
if it didn't have to start so soon,
Wouldn't it be nice if they'd stop asking when we'll wean,
we're still on our babymoon,
Someday it will happen,
at least for you it will,
For I vow to only be supportive, whatever you choose, whatever you do.
Wouldn't it be nice?

From amy_webber ~
Across the board, the breast is best,
Far above and beyond the rest,
And in a perfect world, everyone would see,
That Mommy's doing what is best for me.
In a perfect world, everyone would know,
That milk from the breast will help me grow!
Don't they all know it's good for me?
It guards me from a cough or sneeze.
Don't they know how sweet it feels,
When Mommy holds me close at meals?
Breast milk casts a magic spell,
It even makes my poop not smell!
Someday I hope the world accepts
A nursing world ? it'd be the best!
A nursing world sure would be sweet,
Excuse me now ? Mommy ? it's time to eat!

My other thoughts: In a perfect world, nursing mommies who have to work would be provided with a relaxing, comfortable, private place where they could pump whenever they needed to and store their milk in a safe, cool place. In a perfect world no one would make me feel like a failure because I can't nurse my baby from the breast all the time; they would understand that breast milk from a bottle is still better than no breast milk at all. In a perfect world, I wouldn't be embarrassed to nurse in public.

I also loved the one someone else wrote about nursing bras coming in cool colors and patterns ? I think DH misses my sexier bras!

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From Psnyder ~ In a perfect world ?

* Every new mother would have a helper to help with the household chores while she gets used to nursing the new baby.

* Every childbirth class would have a special segment for new fathers-to-be on the importance of supporting your breastfeeding wife.

* Moms would have one-year of paid maternity leave (oohh I LIKE that one!)

* It was assumed that moms would nurse on demand until the child self-weaned.

* The majority of woman nursed until their children were age 2 or 3.

* Employers received more generous tax cuts for providing child care facilities near the place of business so more working mothers could nurse their children at lunchtime.

* Formula companies could not provide any "free gifts" to new mothers.

* The AAP would change its recommendation regarding the length of time children be breastfed. The recommendation would be that children should be breastfed until mother and child mutually decide to stop, which may mean that a child nurses for 3 or more years. The AAP would work to educate pediatricians on this policy.

* Most adults would recall being nursed as children. As my dd puts it, "They would remember Mommy holding them and all that yummy milk!"

* Most moms would see for themselves that drunken, milk-happy face that a child has when he or she has a belly full of milk.

From Angi ~ In a perfect world:

- no one would look at me like I had 2 heads when discreetly nurse my 10 month old in her sling.

- my family would not ask when she is going to wean (oh wait, they gave up on that one ).

That is all I can come up with because I live in a pretty breastfeeding friendly place:

  • our mall has family bathrooms and nursing rooms with glider rockers
  • our hospitals assume you are nursing
  • our pediatrician encourages breastfeeding for at least a year and up to 2 (if we go beyond 2, we might have issues then)
  • everyone I know already accepts that I am the "freak" who nurses, uses a sling, and cloth diapers.

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