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Multiples Mania

StorkNet.com > Pregnancy Channel > Parenting Channel > Multiples Mania Cubby > Twins' & More Articles
FAQ Section 1 ~ Suspecting and Diagnosing Multiples
How will I feel about having multiples?

In Dr. Barbara Luke's book, When You're Expecting Twins, Triplets, or Quads, she concludes that this psychological journey of carrying multiples typically consists of five fairly predictable stages: shock, denial, anxiety/anger/ depression, bargaining, and acceptance/adaptation. These are basically the same five stages first described by Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross (herself a triplet) as the stages of grieving."1 We found that our survey respondents had similar feelings and typically ran the gamut of emotions during the pregnancy.

I felt overwhelmed. I was worried about the health of the babies and scared that something might go wrong with the pregnancy and/or delivery. I was scared that I wouldn't be able to handle carrying for multiple infants. ~ Ronna, mother of twins

THRILLED! Until the adrenaline rush wore off. Then I was a little scared at the thought of having two small babies to take care of, but no less thrilled. ~ Tracy, mother of twins

I was thrilled; I wanted twins very badly. ~Lutey, mother of twins

Shocked and disappointed - it didn't fit with the plans we had made. It took quite awhile to come around and get excited about it all ~Colleen, mother of twins

I was worried about the associated risks and scared about how uncomfortable I would be throughout pregnancy. ~Amanda, mother of twins

A little panic and a lot of excitement, although we were told that the third fetus would probably not make it since it had a weak heartbeat. We were also overwhelmed with the thought of twins AND a two year old at the same time. ~ wish, mother of twins

Very excited, then very scared. ~Julie, mother of quadruplets

My husband and I were giddy. We went from thinking we were potentially having a miscarriage to finding out we were having twins. ~Melanie, mother of twins

I think I was in shock. It took a long time for it to actually sink it. The first thing I did was look at my husband and threaten his life. ~Erin, mother of twins

I had so many different emotions. We were thrilled to be pregnant after the infertility treatments. Also, I'd always wanted twins. I was a bit scared though - wondering how we'd afford two, and if my pregnancy would be a difficult one. We were also relieved that we didn't have quints in there (I'd released at least 5 eggs before my IUI)! ~Marina, mother of twins

Partners also experienced a wide variety of emotions which didn't always coincide with mom's feelings:

He laughed with tears running down his face when we saw the two sacs . . . ~ Julie, mother of twins

As a husband and an MD, he was concerned with the added risks and complications of multiples. As a dad, he was thinking about paying for college educations! But he was excited as well. ~Lutey, mother of twins

He wanted twins because he is a twin! ~Gisella, mother of twins

He went very pale and the doctor asked if he was okay. ~TracyE, mother of boy/girl twins

He took a deep breath, slowly let it out and then said, "Okay, we'll make it." ~wish, mother of twins

My husband was more grounded when we got the news. I got very worried. He thought we could handle it. ~Jennifer, mother of twins

My husband was delighted and though he had been happy about the pregnancy, that is when he really became excited about it. ~Katrack, mother of twins

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VERY happy; he was in the "I told you so" mode. ~Rachel, mother of twins

He went catatonic for three days. ~Elizabeth, mother of triplets

We were SO surprised. There aren't any twins or triplets in either of our families. It's the LAST thing I was expecting to hear at the ultrasound appointment. After feeling like a zombie for a few days, I started to get really excited. My husband was still checking things with a calculator but he started getting excited when we told our parents. We've had a lot of ups and downs along the way but now we just think it's the norm to have three babies at once! ~Dana, mother of triplets

It's very important at this point to discuss your feelings with your partner and make the pregnancy (as well as your relationship) a priority. It's okay not to be thrilled and excited in the beginning. All of our parents, no matter how overwhelmed they felt when they found out about the multiples or how exhausted they were in the first few months, adjusted to the joys and blessings of a multiple parenthood. You will too!

1. Luke, Barbara and Tamara Eberlein. 1999. When You're Expecting Twins, Triplets, or Quads. HarperPerennial. Page 140

Visit our survey respondents' comments on the Joys of Having Multiples



Our Multiples' FAQ:
          Section I - Suspecting and Diagnosing Multiples
          Section II - Preparing for Multiples
          Section III - Pregnancy & Childbirth
          Section IV - NICU
          Section V - Going Home/Postpartum
          Section VI - As They Grow
          Section VII - Resources
          Section VIII - Miscellaneous/Special Tips & Inspiration

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