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Multiples Mania

StorkNet.com > Pregnancy Channel > Parenting Channel > Multiples Mania Cubby > Twins' & More Articles
Smart Remarks and Stupid Comments
~ A Message Board Archive
From Mish_F ~ I get really frustrated when I am downtown with the girls and people say one or more of the following: 1. Are they twins; 2. Oh my, you must have your hands full; 3. Oh OH here comes double trouble (this gets me the most). I personally feel that the general public look at us like we are some kind of a circus act and it drives me nuts!!

From Lutey ~ I am a novice at the whole going-out-in-public thing but I know exactly what you mean. I am seriously contemplating making a sign to hang from their carseats when we go shopping:
       Yes. They are twins.
       Yes. One is a girl (that would be the one under the pink blanket).
       Yes. The other is a boy (that would be the other one).
       No. They are not identical.
       Their names are Erik and Allison.
       Yes, they are beautiful aren't they??

From huntergirl ~ I've become much too smart-alecky for my own good, especially with one particular guy at the market who *still* asks if Jack and Zachary are twins. I've started saying, "No, they were just born the same day." I don't think he's quite figured that one out yet!

From Mish_F ~ When I get asked if they are twins, I have started to say "No, they are triplets. I left the third one at home." People never know how to take that one!!

From multiplemum ~ I have triplets and I am disgusted by some people's comments. One lady said "you are brave" to which I replied I didn't get much choice in it (which of course I did, but I wanted them so much). She said, "Yes that's a shame isn't it??!!!!!!!" I said "It was a shame you were born so mean!"

From Greg ~ Oooh. "Are they natural twins"? I get this all the time. No, people, they are the spawn of the devil! And I just love "Are they identical?" Eh? One's a boy, one's a girl, you figure it out. (I usually just say "no - he's got a penis.")

From BethL ~ You guys are too much. I'm already getting dumb comments. I just hate "you're going to have your hands full." Is this the only phrase that comes to mind when thinking of twins? I also don't like, "what are you going to do?" My latest response is that we are debating on sending one back. You could always tell the people who ask if they are identical that "no, they have two different fathers." That ought to shut them up.

From Ronna ~ It doesn't get better guys, especially because mine are identical. I am just plain obnoxious now. When I get double trouble, I just say "No, they are my double blessings". When I get "Are they identical?" I say "No, they just look EXACTLY alike." When I get "You sure have your hands full," I say "Full of love". I can't wait until my belly gets big with this pregnancy. I think when people ask, I will tell them it's triplets! LOL BTW, I also say "No, they are triplets, I left the other one in the car". People look at me like I'm the devil. What has been most annoying to me (and DH) is that people who know us and even strangers always ask us where they got all that blonde hair from. DH and I both have very dark brown hair. I usually say "Brad Pitt" or "OMG, honey I bet these aren't really our children!" LOL

From Yasemin ~ I think we need to write a book about ignorant people. I think I've posted this before but my usual reply to my very favorite "you must have your hands full" remark, is "yes, as a matter of fact they are, so why don't you come by my house and do the laundry, dishes, vacuuming, etc." They will disappear a lot faster than you can blink your eyes. Recently though I have been getting such nice comments that I am almost beginning to like the attention . . . "They look so happy!!!" and "Wow, you must be a great mom if God has blessed you with three (including DD#1)" . . . but still it would be nice just to take a stroll somewhere without being stopped 15 times.

From daksmum ~ The one that really makes me mad is when people tell me how "brave" I am to be out by myself! Give me a break. As if having twins is a reason to stay home the rest of your life or NEVER go anywhere alone. To this I typically respond, "No, when I'm feeling brave I bring my 3 1/2 year old and husband! (Has anyone else noticed it is easier with just the babies and no DH when you really want to get some shopping or errands done?) The other one I get a lot is "I hope you have help." Physically, I don't really need anyone's help to take care of the twins! No one but me can feed them anyway! (This would be great timing to remember the cleaning comment suggested earlier!) Mentally, I'd have to see a professional and any Joe Blow off of the street wouldn't be any help anyway! Just to put a positive spin on things, I truly love it when *special* people say things like "Oh, your twin boys are adorable . . . mine are 11 (or 16 or 28!)." It makes me feel like I really can do this if they could! The other day both twins were screaming at the mall and a man on the way out the door looked at my DH and I and said with the biggest smile, "I survived two sets, you'll do just fine!" (DH is annoyed by the invisible bond parents of multiples have. I've given up trying to explain it!)

From Ronna ~ I just love it when other multiple moms, dads, or grandparents stop me. I love the "multiple talk" that we have. I love when I hear from parents of older multiples who tell me, "Don't worry, it will get easier." This is when both boys are running in opposite directions at the mall. I also love it when parents of younger multiples ask me questions. I met another mom in the mall last week (yes, I spend a lot of time there!). Her boys were just seven months old. She looked at me with that tired look that we all know so well and asked me when it gets easier. I told her she was almost there. The bond is truly amazing.

From cdw ~ Because Ian is bigger than Morgan, people think they are two singletons so when they ask how far apart they are, I love to say "20 minutes and she's the oldest." Now I must say I am guilty of thinking "how do they do it" when I read post by moms like hunter. Not because of twins but having five of different ages.

From Terri7 ~ I have boy/girl twins and get the same stupid question about them being identical. Now I just say no and smile... I figure sometime down the road, the people stop and think, "now that was a dumb question I asked her" . . . at least I hope they do.

From JenniferM ~ I have one that's bigger too. Aaron is 3 inches taller and about 8 pounds bigger than Alyssa so people do ask if they're twins. My favorite to date is "How far apart are they?" and when I answered "One minute" the man responded with "You don't have to be a smart a**!" I just cracked up laughing at him and told him not to ask if he didn't want to know. I've always responded to the "Oh Double Trouble" comment with "No, we got a double blessing." I do feel blessed to have my two. I waited 5 years and went through a WHOLE lot to have them. I also had a hysterectomy so I know that these two are it and I AM blessed. So are each of you!

From withtwins ~ Am I being over sensitive, or am I justified at getting annoyed at the rude comments I have been hearing lately? I am so tired of people telling me how absolutely awful life will be the first few months. And how they just don't know how I will do it with twins, because it is bad enough to just have one. Why would people say such horrid things? I am in my last trimester and maybe I am just overly hormonal. But this is supposed to be an exciting time coming, and people have no problem taking the winds out of my sails!! Of course, I am not the type of person to have a snappy comeback, so I just agree that my life will be a living hell. I wish sometimes that I never told people that I am expecting twins, even though I am overjoyed and thankful for how blessed we are.

From cdw ~ People just don't think sometimes. The first few months are crazy and sleepless no matter how many you have. You should be excited. It is wonderful to have twins, but it is a challenge . . . no kidding ourselves there! Every time someone would say how hard it would be I just told them that because they were my first, I wouldn't know the difference and the hard part was just being a new mom. You're gonna hear a lot of "handful", "how do you do it" comments. Just smile and say "I do it with love and thank God everyday for my gift."

From Ronna ~ Cdw said it all. Whoever said being a parent was easy, period, no matter how many kids you have? Just tell them you will take it one day at a time.

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From Lutey ~ I agree with the above and would add a recommendation. Don't let others be a downer to you, regardless of what they say to you. This is a very special time in your life and you will never be able to be here again. So relish every minute of it! What is ahead of you may be difficult but it may also be much easier than you ever expected (it has been for me!). Either way, you are very blessed--don't let anyone distract you from the big picture!!

From Greg ~ I agree with what everyone else has said. Just try to ignore them. I know it's hard, and we certainly heard enough of them, and as Lutey said, it's actually been easier than we expected. Not that it's easy, but is it easy for any parent? One thing I absolutely love. All the annoying unsolicited advice we get can be instantly banished by asking the person giving the advice if that was what they did with their twins.

From Sheryl ~ No you're not being insensitive at all. Just try to ignore their unsolicited advice. Just today some lady said to me in the store, "Ugh I have all girls too. Just wait until they get older; you think you have it hard now!" I was like. "Oh thanks a lot lady!" But I have to say I don't know if it ever gets easier; it just gets different. Now that my girls are 2 1/2 it is easier as far as work goes and they are more independent, but it is so much harder mentally and emotionally for me now. You'll do just fine, don't worry!!

From withtwins ~ Thanks everyone for the encouraging words!! I really can't wait to have the little ones here. It is scary for me sometimes as it is overwhelmingly joyous too! I am due on March 9th....I don't know if I can wait much longer though!

From SusieB ~ All babies are challenging at first, not just twins. You'll just have more of a challenge. And it is. However, I also resent the comments from people that have no business making them. Complete strangers that themselves do not have multiples. Anyone with twins will probably honestly tell you that yes, it will be challenging, but it will also be unbelievably joyous and fun. Keep your chin up and grin and let them know that you're prepared for whatever comes your way. I look at it as that I have twice the difficulties, but whoa do I ever have twice the love, the giggles, the sweet toothy grins that keep my head spinning from one baby to the other. It's heaven.

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