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PAILS of Hope

Too Soon To Try Again After Miscarriage?
A Message Board Archive
From lyshy ~ Our first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage at eight weeks about a month ago. I am still feeling very sad about it . I desperately want to TTC again and basically right away. I don't think I will be truly happy until I'm pregnant again. Is it too soon to try again? Am I flirting with another disaster?

From seven_lux ~ I miscarried about a week and a half ago, and although the pain in my head and my heart has dulled somewhat, the intense feeling I immediately had after losing the baby, to be pregnant again to STILL be pregnant hasn't faded at all. I am sad that I've lost our baby, but I don't feel like I need the six month break most doctors recommend.

My partner and I talked about it, and we've decided we will try again as soon as possible. I feel ready now though, but I also feel I'm at least going to wait until I stop bleeding to begin having sex. Then we're just going to let it happen; hopefully it will happen sooner rather than later.

I think only you will know if you're ready again; anyone can tell you to take six months to let yourself grieve and your body recover, but everyone has to deal with it in their own way. Trust yourself I guess.

Are you sure that your partner is ready to try again also?

I'm not a doctor either so I couldn't say if you were flirting with disaster or not, physically or emotionally . . . who knows what could happen. But could you deal with another loss so soon if that did happen?

I found reading the articles and stories on this site so helpful; if you haven't found the time to look at it yet I recommend you do . . . it helped me be a bit more objective and thoughtful through my intense wanting of another baby.

From Ellie ~ I really identify with what you're going through; I'm in the same boat - lost my baby at twelve weeks in March and I desperately want to be pregnant again.

Most doctors seem to recommend waiting one month at least, so that you have a period between losing the previous baby and trying again. The main reason they give it to make sure they can 'date' the next pregnancy accurately (ie from your last menstrual period). Other reasons they give are to allow you to recover emotionally and because they say there is a small increased risk of miscarriage if you conceive immediately after a loss (but I'm not convinced by this last reason. I've done a lot of reading and I can't find any extensive studies).

I think three to six months is excessive if you feel ready to try again. I am going to try again a.s.a.p. As for flirting with disaster, I'll cope with another loss if I have to, though I'm dreading having one . . . but the reward of having another child would be so much greater that I'm happy to take the risk.

From cdw ~ I can relate to the wanting to ttc right away! i would give it a couple of months for your body to regulate itself. That way you know when your are ovulating and you will have better luck.

From Maribeth ~ We have some articles in our cubby that might help (all focus on pregnancy after loss and/or infertility):

Contemplating Pregnancy? aka Here we go again

AGAIN OR NOT? Making Decisions About Whether to Attempt Yet Another Pregnancy

And some of those questions are discussed in our FAQ

There's pros and cons either way and you really need your careprovider's feedback (s/he may have a good physical reason for you to wait or they may just "suggest" a time-frame based on what they feel you can handle emotionally. Be sure to ask they WHY they have that time-frame so you know if there's a physical reason or this is just something they say to everyone. Honestly, you would know better what you can handle emotionally).

From Kim P ~ My first miscarriage was at 13 weeks, and since it was both physically and emotionally bad, I waited the three months, but extended it to six due to an overseas vacation. My last miscarriage was at 6 weeks, and wasn't so bad physically at all, so I have waited one cycle to get my body back in the swing of things (plus, you need to make sure your hormone levels are at zero), and now we will ttc again.

We could give you a bunch of opinions, but waiting 4-6 weeks for your cycle will probably do you good . . . both emotionally and physically.

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From crg ~ I had a miscarriage in early January. My doctor said I only had to wait one cycle. AF came 28 days after the d&c, so I thought I was all set to ttc. I was so distraught that my second cycle was 60 days long. Miscarriage can cause wacky cycles for a few months. Don't be surprised if it happens to you. I'm feeling much better now and hope this cycle goes back to normal.

From Gayesy ~ I can't really add to what has already been said except to say that when you are emotionally ready, you will know. That might be right now, or it might be a while off. As for physical readiness, check with your doctor. Often they say it is fine to ttc right away, but some want you to wait a certain number of cycles.

From vonda ~ (((((((hugs))))))) We became pregnant again after one cycle. I was really afraid if I thought about it too much, I would be too scared to try again. But, I think if we had waited then we wouldn't have been wondering if we did it too soon. By the way, my baby was premature. Her coming early had nothing to do with my previous miscarriage and how quickly we became pregnant again.

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