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What have you done to remember your baby?
~ a message board archive
From franros ~ I bought a locket where I keep two photos and a lock of his hair. I also made a shadow box with one of his photos, his hospital id bracelet, booties, a rattle, his binky and copies of his little footprints. My mom said it came out really well. I have other keepsakes in a box decorated with Winnie the pooh--the outfit he wore the day he died, all of the pictures we have, his toys and stuffed animals (even though he never really played with them) and anything else that he ever touched or wore. What have you done to remember your baby?

From LorrieAnn ~ The shadow box sounds beautiful. For Michael's first anniversary we named a star after him. We went to the planetarium and a worker there showed us his star.

From hedra ~ My mom keeps my oldest brother's picture on the wall with the rest of us. I wrote a poem for my second miscarriage (the first didn't seem to need one).

From Beckster36693 ~ I too have a box that contains everything belonging to my baby. It's not a shadow box but I have everything together and I can look at it any time I'd like! I think it makes it easier having things to identify with; without them it would seem as though he were forgotten, and that is not the case!

From Maribeth ~ I have a photo album that has almost everything in it from a lock of hair to handprints and footprints, cards, etc. I want to redo it and make sure everything is preserved better. Most of photos are polaroids and they're fading.One special thing we did was have a pastel portrait done. We wanted something that didn't have all the wires and tubes from the NICU in it. The only pictures we have without all that stuff are after he died so his eyes, of course, are closed. His eyes are open in the portrait, and it turned out really lovely. I also did a web page for Mark. I need to update it a bit. It's been eons since I've even checked the links on it. I still get a lot of positive feedback on the webpage and that means a lot. I love hearing what other people have done! It's so special.

From mathias'mommy ~ I made a scrapbook for Mathias with his pictures and pictures of his grave. Also Wal-Mart has these mother's rings that have the baby's birthstone in the middle and on one side the baby's name is engraved and on the other side the baby's birthdate is engraved. I got one of those and I wear it anytime I go anywhere. We also got a picture for the wall at a Christian bookstore - it's a drawing of Jesus holding a sleeping baby. It's very comforting to look at and know my baby boy is with Jesus in Heaven.

From Licagita ~ I have a "Cailin" box - with her comb/brush, bottle, afghan, knit caps, grief books, photos, baby book, etc. I buy an angel ornament for our Christmas tree every year - it is my mission to find a really special one. I also pick the name of a child (the age that Cailin would be) from our social service departments gift tree - I make an afternoon of going out and buying something that I think she would really like and give it to someone less fortunate (my other children help me pick something out). We decorate her grave for all holidays. We have a birthday cake on her birthday. And most importantly we talk about her often, the kids draw pictures, etc.

From LynneW ~ I have a locket with Jack's photos in, we have a photo album with all the photos we took together with his foot and hand prints and locks of hair. His hospital name tags etc. I also buy a present for him every birthday, Christmas and holiday which I then take up and place on his grave. We also have a beautiful photo up on the wall with my other children which the hospital arranged for us. He is never forgotten in our house. Carl is different as he was born so much earlier; I only have a couple of polaroids the hospital took of him and his hand and foot prints together with a "birth" certificate the hospital provided. But he still gets presents which we leave for him up on his brother's grave. We will soon put up a small plaque for him there as well so they can share that special place.

From momtoanangel ~ Maribeth, you said that you had a pastel portrait. I was just curious as to where you might go to have something like that done. My pictures of Hannah are pretty discolored and the skin is torn so we can't really hang it up for visitors, but we'd like to. Maybe a pastel portrait is the answer.

From Maribeth ~ I used to be the director of a network for bereaved parents, and I was put in touch with an artist who was very good at taking photos and recreating something beautiful from them. She wasn't a bit distressed at seeing photos of sick or dead babies. Her name is Sharon Johnson but the last time I tried to contact her, she'd moved and I don't know how to find her now. She lived in Minnesota and I was in San Diego when I had the portraits done so everything was mailed - but it worked fine.

From Julie 3/12 ~ Just wanted to add that my husband bought me a gold necklace last Mother's Day, along with a tiny gold birthstone ring, perfectly proportioned and detailed, that slides right onto the necklace. Right now my necklace only has Cameron's ring on it, but I have ordered a new one with February's birthstone for the little one that I lost.

From SusieQ_422 ~ I have done many things to remember my baby. My parents made me a shadowbox with her little dress, booties, birth certificate, and pictures. My boyfriend bought me one of those "brat" necklaces. They are boys or girls with the birthstone in the middle. And I also got a gold ID bracelet with her name on it.

From littleangels ~ Any opportunity I have I will do something to remember my baby. Just today, I purchased a March of Dimes banner for my son. The banner will be displayed at the walkathon. It will have his birthdate and name on it. They are color coded for "deceased baby/miscarriage", "currently pregnant", "healthy baby boy" and "healthy baby girl". I buy pins/necklaces that refer to mother/child. Christmas ornaments. A friend from StorkNet pencil sketched his picture for me (and ooohhh, it's he's so beautiful). I plan to frame the picture and hang in the house. I made a memory box.

From bubba32~ I have a box with all of Erik's things that they gave to us at the hospital. I sleep with the little cap they had placed on him. It is under my pillow and I hold it when I go to sleep every night. I also have a sterling silver bracelet that I never take off that was engraved with his name and date of birth, and says Mommy and Daddy will always love you. We named his little sister after him. Her name is Erika and even though she is too small to understand I always tell her she has an angel brother who watches over her.

From 65_muddie ~ I have a purple box that contains two photographs of my son, a card with his tiny foot prints, his receiving blanket never been washed with a bit of blood on it, and a gold bereavement ring that could be worn on a necklace, and last cards from family and friends.

From sugarbianca ~ I took as many pictures as possible of her in her tiny coffin because I never thought I would need a camera when I went to the hospital. She was born at 23 weeks and only lived for a few minutes. I keep a picture in each bag or purse, I have two on the wall and one on my desk.

From Bee-Jay ~ I searched high and low for the perfect urn for Blossom's ashes; it's a woman in clay who sits with her arms wrapped around a big pot, and the ashes are in the pot. I had it painted with cherry blossoms, and had a warm smile painted on the woman's face. For Mother's day, (anniversary of her birth/death) my husband presented me with a beautiful wooden and glass cabinet with a lovely cherry blossom carved on the top, with her initials and date woven into the carving. It is made of wood from the West Coast of BC, as that's where I'm from, and where she died. There is a secret drawer in the bottom for her photo's, foot-prints, etc. So, now she rests in this beautiful cabinet along with the beanie-baby mousie that my Mom sent when she found out we were expecting. It's her first and only 'stuffy', and it's hers. It sits on the top of my piano, and I play for her sometimes.

From frojo ~ Because I had a miscarriage early on, I have no photos. I have a blurry ultrasound that looks like a marshmallow, but I kept it anyway. I just don't look at it too much. I had heard of jewelry as a symbol, but again, no pictures, so I didn't get a locket. But I saw these necklaces that you can get that have little tiny rings on them with birthstones and diamonds alternating. My baby would have been born in June, so I bought a silver chain, with a Light Amethyst ring pendant (I think June's birthstone). It's very delicate and pretty, and only my husband and I really know what it means. I don't always wear it, but it hangs on the corner of my dresser mirror. To be able to hold something in my hand or wear something around my neck really appealed to me. I was going to plant a tree, but my mother said, "What if the tree dies? Or what if you get mad and decide to chop it down?" That pretty much nixed that idea. Thanks mom - always thinking ahead. (?!) Anyway, the necklace idea worked out very well for me.

From Rhonda P ~ I asked for everything and anything that was touched by my baby at the hospital. She had full T-18 so, she only lived 6 days after carrying full term. We knew she was sick very early in the pregnancy so, after her birth, I began taking pictures of her. After her death, I chose a beautiful angel urn for her. The hospital placed all of her things into a really nice memory box. I purchased a beautiful small oriental table/cabinet with birds painted on it and I keep all of my angels things in it, I call it My Sweet Angel's table.

From Judy_G ~ I planted a tree - a Japanese weeping cherry. It should bloom in the spring, around when my baby would have been born.

From bravedoe ~ I carry her picture in my wallet, but at home, I bought a little cement bench and a cement bear that has wings and halo like an angel since we did her nursery in bears and the angel part just fits! I also bought a little cement cherub that has a little bear cuddled in its wing. They sit outside in our flower bed among our lilies that are our anniversary flowers.

From JacobsMummy ~ When Harvey was born the hospital took polaroids and I took photos. They gave me a card with his footprints on the back and details of his blessing. I kept his identity bracelet (which went round his waist) as well. I have an album which has congratulations cards (when I got pregnant), his ultrasounds, sympathy cards and all things like that in it. I also have a photo of him beside my bed. I took photos of his floral tributes at his graveside as well. I always light a garden candle at his graveside on his birthday, mothers day and Christmas as well.

From SkyleeJazlyn+1 ~ For my angel Skylee, I tried to do all I could. I have 2 large book shelves in my living room. Two of the shelves are devoted to her. On the top shelf I have an 8 by 10 photo of her and the poem that I had at her funeral in the same size frame. On the second shelf I have a "memory box" that the hospital gave to me. In it I have her outfit she wore at the hospital, locks of hair, a bow she held and her blankies from the hospital. I keep the outfit in a baggie so that I can smell her on it for as long as possible. Next to the box I have a scrap book. I worked SO hard on it before she was delivered. In it is all the pictures from the hospital, cards I received, foot prints and stuff like that. I also made her web site that made me feel so much better. I hate it because she is buried in a different state than I live in now. So the site is a good site for me to go and look at when I feel like seeing her.

From Morrighanne ~ I have a diary that I kept for the 2 weeks I knew I was pregnant. I updated it for the last time the day I got out of hospital. I've put Erik and Elicia on a memorial site and I have a locket with a fairy on it with nothing inside but it's my baby locket as I don't have any pictures of either baby. I remember Elicia on her anniversary and I'll probably do something on my husband's birthday in November for Erik as this was our edd.

From Amber Dawn* ~ During the latter half of this last miscarriage we went to the renaissance festival. Well last year I had seen "angel wings." They were sooo beautiful with big white feathers and little straps made of lace so you can wear them. So, we bought them in remembrance of our babies and hung them up with a halo my mom made with white ribbon and soft green roses all around it. It may be hard to imagine but it really is beautiful to see.

From M.J.~ My husband and I bought a small lilac bush (my favorite flower) and planted it in the corner of our backyard. We can see it from our kitchen window and what will hopefully be a nursery window someday rather than a spare bedroom. The lilac will bloom in the spring every year, around the time we found out about our miscarriage. I also saved a number of mementos (+ pregnancy test, congrat cards, sympathy cards, miscarriage literature etc.) in a beautiful wood memory box my husband gave me for our first anniversary.

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