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Postpartum Depression

Feeling Cheated After Twins
By Karen Kleiman, MSW
Karen KleimanQ. I'm not anxious, and I feel close to my twins and other two children, but I just feel let down since the twins have been born. I never thought I would miss being pregnant, but I do. I guess I miss the attention from my doctors and others. I don't think this is depression but it bothers me quite often. I am experiencing changes in my periods (break-through bleeding and other changes). I'm hoping I'm just going through hormonal changes and that's maybe why I feel this way. The twins will be my last children, so maybe I'm experiencing the loss of not having any more kids. I did have the babies five weeks early and they had to take them c-section due to my water breaking. This was another let down. My other kids were born natural with no problems. My twins were in special care for 12 days due to breathing problems at birth. This makes me feel like I failed. I wish I could have been able to prolong my pregnancy another couple of weeks so that they were healthy at birth. They were born at 35 weeks. They are doing great now. They are four months old and thriving (each weighs 16 lbs) with no problems.

A. What you are describing is actually quite common with moms following the birth of twins, which are usually born early as you know. It is the result of an "interrupted" pregnancy which can lead to a feeling of being "cheated" (even though this may not be easy to admit since everything is going well). The truth is, pregnancy *can* be a comforting, special time for many women. When circumstances alter the expected course of the pregnancy, a loss is experienced and even though everything may progress perfectly, a loss is a loss and so . . . it is experienced as feelings of sadness, frustration, disappointment or whatever.

What this means, is that it's "natural" for you to feel let down. It's okay. But once again, I'll repeat, if you continue to feel bad or are concerned about the way you are feeling, it's time to let your doctor know. Sometimes it helps to talk about these feelings and get them validated. It can be enormously reassuring to find out that your feelings "make sense" and that in time, this will work itself out. Keep an eye on how you are feeling and make sure and remember to take care of yourself while you're taking care of all your little ones!

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