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Did you or didn't you find out baby's sex and why?
~ A message board archive

Poll Results: Did you find out before birth if your baby is a boy or girl?
Yes, we found out         499 votes      74.16%
No, we didn't find out     174 votes      25.85%

Question: Did you or didn't you find out baby's sex and why?

Stacie: We found out for both of our kids. With the first one we really wanted to know what we were having so we could be prepared. It's hard enough figuring out how to be first time parents without having to suddenly be surprised about the gender. Knowing that our first was going to be a girl, we could buy and borrow gender specific clothes and concentrate on female names. For our second we found out the gender mostly because it's what people expected after we found out for the first baby. We also thought it might be easier for our daughter to understand the concept of a new baby if she knew whether it would be a boy or a girl. As it is, she is too young to understand any part of having a new baby. I think if we have a third I'd like to be surprised about the gender. We'll already have one of each so there won't be much to prepare for as far as clothes and gender specific needs. And it might be fun to get the surprise at the end.

Paula: We chose not to find out for either of my pregnancies. With my first daughter, I'd even had an amnio so I had definitive results if I'd wanted them. My OB was a stinker, too! In front of me, she glanced at the results, got a smile and said, "I know a secret!" For me, I LOVE a surprise and you can't get a purer surprise than a baby because if everything is going well, no one really knows what it'll be.

Jelly-Anne: No for either pregnancy. In my province of BC, it is highly discouraged for people to find out. Ultrasound techs, I think are forbidden from revealing it if they know and it's not routinely written on the report to the doctor. I wouldn't have found out though even if I had been able to.

SusanA: We didn't find out with our first two and I LOVED the surprise. It just made the big day all the more special. With our third, well, the third IS the surprise! We decided to find out and while it has been much easier on our daughter knowing that she will have a sister than it was not knowing last time, I do feel a little like we peeked at a gift. Not knowing is really the most amazing thing. Heading out to the hospital . . . the anticipation . . . it's amazing. But, I will say that I felt more instantly bonded with my third and I think it's because I had been thinking of her as "Kate" instead of just "The Baby". I knew HER better, if that makes sense.

Gaye: I found out with both of my kids. I was VERY keen to know! There were practical reasons for wanting to know, in that I'm not that keen on "unisex" looking baby clothes and nursery stuff, but probably the main reason I wanted to know was that I knew that, for me, it would help me bond with my baby even before the birth. I already had names picked out and started calling the kids by their names as soon as I'd had the ultrasound. By the time they were born, I felt like I'd known them a long time.

justrose: I am way too anal to not find out. I don't like surprises. I like personalized, gender specific things. I do see how it would be SO cool to not know in advance, but . . . I wouldn't be able to stand it.

KimK: The only one I didn't find out with was my first daughter. I did find out with all of the others though. I have no willpower not to. I do have to admit that with the first one it was more exciting at the actual moment of birth to find out what she was, not that it wasn't exciting for the others, just in a different way.

K. C.: My first was a surprise, we did not want to know. There are so few true surprises in the world. When I was pregnant with my second, my son told EVERYONE that we were having a girl. So much so, we thought we should prepare him if he was wrong. We found out, and he was right. We decided not to find out with #3. My husband caught the baby and announced the sex. It was an AWESOME experience. And, #4 is our birth control blessing and we decided to find out at delivery again! Again, DH caught the baby but he let me see the sex for myself.

mama2emma: I found out with my first one, but I think this pregnancy I want it to be a surprise!

Patti: For our first child, only I found out and my husband did not want to know. I decorated the entire nursery, kept the door closed and my husband did not peek. Once I slipped up and said, "her," by accident so I overcompensated and even got into a heated debate with my husband over possible boy names. My dh was completely shocked with Kiki popped out and was a girl! He was so sure it was a boy. For the last two, we both found out the gender.

Amonika: We found out with both of kids. I'm a planner and it was scary for me to think about having the wrong color clothing to return to the store shortly after having a baby. I then found out with the second one because I wanted to make sure that I didn't need to buy new clothing of a different color if the baby was the opposite sex. I couldn't wait to find out!

Juju: We chose not to find out. I'm not a big fan of frilly pink things or rooms filled with sailboats, so I wouldn't have done a gender-themed room for my first child anyway. Plus we knew we wanted more than one so why buy a pink carseat, or a swing with basketballs on it? I am a BIG shopper and I had no trouble shopping for adorable stuff. Then, after the baby is born, you are just SHOWERED with gender-specific clothing and personalized gear, so within 2 weeks of the birth you have a closet stuffed with boy or girl clothing anyway. With my second and third, I set up the baby's room but did not decorate it until the babies were born and I knew the genders. They slept in my room for the first month or two anyway--plenty of time to get their rooms ready.

But after all that, my biggest reason is simply that I don't open my Christmas gifts early either. I loved and bonded with my babies just fine without knowing what flavor their parts were, and finding out at the moment of their births gave it such an added element of joy. Then you get to announce the surprise to your friends and family, so instead of being like, "Addison was born yesterday," you get to announce, "It's a girl!! Her name is Addison Julia!!" which is more fun imo.

Gloria: Right on Juju! I agree completely.

Ellie Jan: I didn't find out with the first 2 but did with number 3. I LOVE surprises and so does my husband. I think we liked how annoyed everyone else got when we didn't know. With Zach, we had one of each and I thought it would be fun to find out for once. Though I was thrilled with another boy so close in age to Sam, I was bummed I knew as soon as the tech told me.

meg: I found out with both. I wanted to know so I could prepare because I'm not a fan of all unisex clothing and bedding. In addition, it helped us to bond with the baby and name the baby prior to birth. I think I would have bonded with the baby either way, but it made everything so much more real.

canuck: We aren't allowed to find out here, unless you go self pay to a 3d ultrasound clinic I think I am ok with not knowing though.

Elizabeth: Didn't want to know with either of them, but Ella had a mind of her own and was a flasher by 16 weeks!

miche: Our first two were surprises, but our third we found out. My older son was 7 when she was born and he so desperately wanted a baby sister this time. He was seriously distraught about another boy so we found out and he got his wish! When we have another I'm thinking of making it a surprise again. It wasn't bad knowing, but it was exciting to be completely surprised twice!

Tami: All 3 of my babies were surprises. I just didn't want to take a chance on the tech telling us something, spend the rest of the pregnancy thinking that way, and be wrong. It was never worth an amnio to find out, though since I was AMA for the last two, it was offered. My husband had a hard time having to wait the full 9 months to find out, but he made it. With the last baby, he was totally on board with the surprise.

karen: We waited until their arrival to find out with each of our three children. For us, it was well worth the wait! I pretty much chose their birthday (c/s), so we left the gender as the surprise.

ibmommy: Never wanted to find out but DH did. So we compromised . . . With our first we did NOT find out and with our second we did find out. I personally love NOT finding out

Hoya: Yes, we found out for both pregnancies. There a million and one things you will never know about your baby before he/she is born . . . whereas this is one thing you CAN know. This also made everything so much easier in terms of picking names (which, even so, we only narrowed down to a few possibilities and waited for the baby to be born to really pick just one combination), buying stuff, bonding with the baby (visualizing him/her), etc.

ink-stained mom: DH and I both wanted to know with both kids. We're just basically pragmatic people -- if the information is available, why not know it? And it helped to get ready. In both cases, though the OB said she couldn't be 100 percent sure, so we prepared for both contingencies.

luvmyeagles: We didn't find out with my son because I thought it was fun to be surprised. However, dh has already informed me that we WILL be finding out with this one. He didn't enjoy the suspense quite as much as I did.

hedra: I'm not a present peeker, so it made sense to not find out the first time. We decided that IF our eldest wanted to peek with his next younger sibling, we'd peek, but he didn't need to - he knew it was a boy. And he was right. With the twins, it was harder given all the ultrasounds. But we still made it to the birth without knowing. Though admittedly we were shocked to find it was two girls (we were all sure it was boy/girl!). But it was also really cool.

KQCCMama: We did not find out with the first three. I enjoyed not knowing but each subsequent pregnancy I was more and more curious. So when baby #4 resided in my belly, I just knew that I would find out. After all, I had already done the surprise thing. I really enjoyed knowing and letting the kids know. It was just another fun thing about pregnancy that I had not experienced yet.

1Dawn: We wanted to find out with all three but with my oldest the military hospital wouldn't let you know and just flat out moved away so you couldn't see. The middle one they were less strict and we could see that he was a boy. The ultrasound was perfectly clear also which made it easy. Youngest just wouldn't cooperate at any of his ultrasounds so like his older sister he was a surprise. But we did want to know with all.

Anna Banana: Yes, we found out with both kids. I always thought those who waited were so cool, and I wanted to. But on the other hand, we also really wanted to focus on names, decorating the nursery according to gender, etc.

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