What do you wish you had known about pregnancy before you conceived? StorkNet Members share their experiences . . .
From Visitor 1 ~ Implantation Pain - I had severe cramps, I kept waiting for my period to show up. Finally went to the doctor about the pain, and I found out I was pregnant. This was a good thing; we were trying but I thought it would take longer due to getting off birth control. A week later I still feel have cramps. The OB doc did an ultrasound to confirm that it was not ectopic. The doctor just said it was my ligaments stretching and implantation pain (where the egg is burrowing into the uterus). I had never heard of this or read about it in pregnancy books, but I did "google" it and got many sites about the topic.
From Visitor 2 ~ Appetite - I always thought pregnant women who gained too much weight were just using pregnancy as an excuse to overeat whatever junk they would normally want to eat. I think this is a pretty common attitude, even amoungst some women who have been pregnant but not gained too much weight. I found out that food really does become much more tasty and you really are more hungry pregnant, so it is much harder to control youself than it normally would be, and for many ladies, it ain't easy normally! I'm a more humble person now.
From Visitor 3 ~ Implantation Pain - I agree!!!!! I am only six and a half weeks pregnant so there are probably tons of things I am going to "discover" but the cramps I have had since my third week were not something I had heard about before. I have had an ultrasound and everything is as it should be but ths stretching and cramping, (like before my period but way stronger,) is not so fun. Don't get me wrong I am very happy to be pregnant but between the nausea and cramping I don't think these weeks are the most beautiful part of pregnancy
From Visitor 4 ~ Morning Sickness - I guess I didn't realize the severity of morning sickness. I am 7 1/2 weeks pregnant, and I'm on day 4 of morning sickness (or should I say all day sickness). I never thought I would get tired of eating all the time, but I'm there. I'm trying water, hard candy, bland foods, etc., but nothing seems to take the edge off long enough for me to relax throughout my day. Really starting to take a toll on my work, and the way it sounds, I have over 4 more weeks of this. I have my first doctor's appointment next week, so hopefully he can help me.
From JackieB23 ~ I wish I'd known how it would change how others see you: "Wow, you're HUGE!!" (nobody over the age of 7 ever says that to a non-pregnant person!) People asking you about choices you'll need to make - work/stay at home, breast/bottle feed, cloth/disposable diapers, natural childbirth/medicated childbirth, scheduled c-section/VBAC (to name a few) and then criticize you for whatever you decide. Strangers actually TOUCHING your belly. You get mad/sad/irritated and they attribute it to your pregnancy. Others say that it can't be justified and you're just irrational because you're pregnant. People can't resist telling you pregnancy/birth horror stories - thanks, but I DIDN'T NEED TO KNOW THAT.
From Visitor 5 ~ I do love the fact that my husband and I created a miracle . . . However, I so wish I knew that when you become pregnant everyone who has been pregnant in the past suddenly feels entitled to give you their opinion, good or bad, and because it happened to them it's going to happen to you. No matter how you put it, at the end (I'm 5 days until my due date) you feel HUGE and there's not a thing you can do about it. Sometimes you can be really mean to people you love due to the crazy hormones you're feeling all at once. Sometimes if you are the only one in your circle of friends that are pregnant all the relationships change. HEARTBURN really sucks!!! However . . . I can't wait to hold this little angel
From Visitor 6 ~ I also got cramping the week I was expecting my period, and even took some pamprin before going to work. No one ever said you would feel like you were getting your period - which it continued to feel like for several weeks. Morning sickness was all day and night to the point of insanity. I went to the ER to get IV fluids and prescription Zofran, just so I could at least keep down some gatorade. I could also smell EVERYTHING and it all smelled BAD . . . from the cucumber scented bath soap to the dog who was not allowed in the room anymore! Also someone said you are pregnant for 10 months not 9, to which I thought they were a moron. But full term is at least 40 weeks . . . which, to me, is 10 months long.
From Visitor 7 ~ The physical changes of being pregnant were all that I had expected, even a little easier than I expected (people keep telling me that I'm lucky) however my 'surprises' came in a different way . . .
Since my pregnancy wasn't planned (and out of all my friends, I'm the first one to have a child), I had to deal with a lot of 'inappropriate' comments - however I'm sure (/hope) that the majority of people who said things didn't realize exactly how it was coming across. For the most part, I'm the type of person who would just brush these things off and not get worked up about it, but after hearing the same questions/remarks over and over again just gets to you. And you'd think that if you were going to hear any inappropriate comments that they'd come from your parents . . . silly me thinking that!
I got a lot of these:
"so was it an accident?" - I really didn't mind the "so, was this planned?" type questions, but using 'accident' just really got to me . . . especially after hearing it several times from some of my closest friends who knew that my partner and I weren't planning. I've almost come close to asking them if they were accidents.
"So are you getting married now? / are your parents pressuring you to get married?" - My (pretty much) husband and I were planning on getting married this past April, but due to a lot of different things going on in our life (new house, personal issues, etc) we decided to put off getting married (I found out that I was pregnant a week before our former wedding date too). I actually had one friend ask me the above-mentioned questions one right after the other. (No we're not getting married right now because we don't want to base our marriage solely on the birth of our child, we want to do it when we're ready . . . no, we're not feeling any pressure from our parents because they're not d-bags like you . . . lol)
For the most part I think it had to do a lot with the maturity level of my friends. It's not as if I'm a teenager who got knocked up from a one-night stand. I'm 26, with a house, with a 'husband' and we both have great careers, however I think some people still saw me as a kid who was not ready for this. (It probably doesn't help that about half of my friends just finished school within the past year and still live at home whereas I have been moved-out and working at my career for the past 4.5 years).
The first person I told and the person who had the worst reaction was surprisingly my sister. We were going to Vegas for a trip and I had found out the week before we went that I was pregnant. I had to tell her because she would know something was up if I was passing up cheap drinks all week. I expected her reaction to be more on the surprised side than anything, but she acted like she was my mother and that my 'husband' and I were 14 year old kids coming to her with our 'problem'. She was utterly retarded! (and it probably doesn't help that she's a bit of a drama queen) She had to stop what she was doing and take a shot of alcohol because 'it was too much information for her to handle' and then she lectured us on if we thought we were ready for this and so on and then joked about getting me a coathanger (SOOOOO inappropriate). It was horrible and really set the tone/my attitude for when I was telling the rest of my family/friends.
After my sister's reaction (to which a couple of weeks later she told me that 'she was now ready to be an aunt'), I was scared to tell my mom. But it was good! You'd think, if anything, that your parents would be the ones to say the inappropriate comments, but really they are your greatest supporters! (I had also told my mom my about my sister's reaction and she couldnt believe how rude she was). My mom has always told my sister and I that we don't have to make her a grandma (as she knows some parents put some pressure on their children for that cause), but when I told her, she was really cute. I think out of everyone, she had the best reaction. She told me that about 3 months prior she had thought to herself that she was ready to be a grandma, etc. She also mentioned that she had started a list of unique names she like/had read in books (she does a lot of reading) and went and got me the list. It was cute/funny/a little nutters that she had started this list, but what made my day was that at the top of the list she had written "2-syllable names sound better with Clarke" (which is my 'husband's' last name).
So really, I guess what I learned from my experience is that not everyone is going to have the best reaction no matter what your situation is. Be prepared for those inappropriate comments!
From Visitor 8 ~ In reply to 9 months of gestation, it is kind of true that we are actually pregnant around 10 months, but that is only because months are not exactly 4 weeks long, they are usually about 4 weeks plus 2-3 days. When you add those extra days up (plus the 2 weeks of your cycle, which the doctors include in your pregnancy, but where you weren't actually/probably pregnant yet), it adds that extra month of pregnancy (sort of). In reality, pregnancy is about 9 REAL months, meaning 9 months that include 4 weeks plus 2-3 extra days equaling around 40-42 weeks total, so 9 months later or so, baby will pop out.
From Visitor 9 ~ I was only 22 when I had my first child and I am pregnant with my second one. I wish I would have known that no matter how many books you read and how much advice you get, everyone has a different pregnancy and every pregnancy can be different as well. My mom told me how much of a breeze her pregnancies were and when I got pregnant with my first I was very disappointed because I was so sick. Then when I got pregnant with my second one I was even more disappointed because I have been even more sick. But I feel like there is no advice anyone can give that will exactly match your pregnancy.
From Visitor 10 ~ Excessive saliva - I know it sounds gross. But it is a problem that has no solution. It has to subside by itself. My mouth just gets full of saliva and I feel the urge to spit it out all the time. It is DISGUSTING!!! I finally found some information on the internet about this and it does effect some women. The only thing I can do to try and reduce this nasty side effect is suck on some hard candy or drink water a lot.
From Visitor 11 ~ I just found out I'm pregnant two days ago. It's a planned and wanted baby. You'd think it's a little late to reconsider, but I wish someone had told me about the possibility of panic-attacks when the reality settles in. Suddenly I'm pregnant, my boobs HURT, my stomach cramps and I start crying at cute commercials. I'm not like this. And we're going to be parents, so my life as I know it will be over. Luckily the panic-attack has faded away, and this morning I am a little less concerned about the whole "oh no, this has to come out too"-problem. And hubby (to be) has promised me that we will make special time for both of us every month. And that no matter how fat, how many stretchmarks or how cranky I get, he'll still think I'm beautiful. I'm just glad he's willing to lie about it ;-). I just hope the panicking will end soon, because I feel like the worst mom-to-be ever.
From Visitor 12 ~ The books tell you that you will have crazy baby dreams and that it's just your brain trying to process your fears/emotions/etc. I have been having the crazy dreams EVERY NIGHT but they have nothing to do with babies! I am dreaming about everything from Fraggle Rock to my dog robbing a bank! How weird is that? I also wish someone had told me about the cramping. At 6 weeks I am paranoid that there is something wrong every time I feel a twinge. The last thing I wish I knew was that it is hard to concentrate! I keep forgetting why I walk into a room or what I was just going to look up on the internet.
From Michelle ~ I wish that my doctor would have gone over the things I should avoid on my first visit. This is my first pregnancy and I feel like they just expect you to know what to do and not do. I purchased a book and now am reading all of these things that should be avoided because they can be harmful to the baby. I also wish that someone would have told me that pregnancy is considered by insurance companies to be a pre-existing condition.
From Visitor 13 ~ The thing I wasn't prepared for was the hormonal changes and breast enlargement happening this soon! I am almost 6 weeks and I didn't expect my breasts to be so swollen and sore this early. Yesterday, I felt happy, sad, and energetic at the same time!! I've never experienced hormones like that in that way before! I cried so hard for no reason at all! Also, I never expected to have any small pains and pinches around the vaginal and uterus area this early. I have been told that it is because of the stretching of the uterus...this early though!?
From Visitor 14 ~ After trying for nearly a year, I'm six weeks pregnant with my first and feel like I'm being run over by a mac truck with a new "symptom" everyday. I'm about 5 days into experiencing the following: Constipation, Excess Saliva, Itchy Hands, Nausea, Frequent Urination, Sore Breasts, Heartburn/Constant Burping, Indigestion (I feel like there is a rotton egg in my stomach regardless of whether it's empty or full), No food/drink including water sound remotely good to me, Stomach ALWAYS growling regardless of whether I eat or not, Fatigue, Unpredicated crying, and Frequent Flatulence. I'm a very healthy 33 year old and continue to force myself to eat well despite feeling utterly terrible. I'm thinking one child is a VERY good idea at this point.
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