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From cam21 ~ I still am in shock - we're pregnant again (very early stages), but I have a million questions running around my head. Can we cope? My daughter will be 18 months old when the new baby is born. Will there be sibling rivalry? HELP! I need some support from those who've been there, done that. (I am excited - just shocked. I just didn't think it would happen so soon.)
From DAmom ~ My oldest had just turned two a few weeks before my second was born. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to take care of them both by myself when my husband was at work, but I surprised myself, mommy instincts kicked in and it worked itself out. There have been stressful times but that's to be expected. My kids are just now really starting to play with each other. Caleb always just looked at Ethan like something in his way to get to me. Ethan is in speech therapy and the therapist and I were talking about the age difference and she said 2 years apart is rough when they are little but after a certain age it doesn't matter anymore. My brother and I are 15 months apart, and we are very close; he tortured me growing up but that's what brother's do! I'm sure your kids will love each other too and you will all do just fine. BTW, congrats!
From miche ~ My kids are 26 months apart, and it was difficult the first several months, but now I love it! Sean is 8 months old today and there is very little rivalry between them. They actually play together now! Tommy is a bit rough with Sean - he's a big bruiser or a boy and really doesn't know his strength, but Sean usually ends up laughing as I scold Tommy for being too rough. Sometimes Tommy will act out against Sean, but he's also very overprotective of him. If a kid comes over to Sean at the park Tommy will stop doing whatever he is doing and run over and tell the kid that he is HIS brother! Sean just looks at Tommy the majority of the time with huge adoring eyes. I realize there is a big difference between 18 months and 26 months, but I also think you're going to have some issues no matter what the age difference between siblings.
From KimT ~ Jared was 13 months when Brett was born. It was a bit of an adjustment for him when Brett came home. However, it didn't take long for Jared to figure out that Brett was here to stay (much to his chagrin, I'm sure ). Now, all day long Jared gives Brett kisses and tries to feed him his bottle. There's still a bit of jealousy when it comes to sharing his toys. He doesn't like Brett to touch anything. But, it is getting much better. I love that they are so close in age. I can see them growing up to be best buddies! Congratulations on your pregnancy! Two under two is great. You'll love it.
From wenzday ~ Mine are 20 months apart, and the first five months about KILLED US! Just remember - what doesn't kill you makes you stronger!
From merrily ~ My boys are 19 months apart. Isaiah has been a natural big brother from the beginning, and honestly doesn't remember what it's like to be an only! A few things I did to "prepare" him . . .
Hope this helps
- encouraged him to walk as much as possible, holding my hand while we were out.
- bought him a baby doll about 2 months before the baby was born
- read him books about sibs
- enrolled him in a toddler sib class at the hospital
- let him hold the baby under VERY strict supervision.
- let him fetch his own/brother's dipes.
- he put his own dipes in the pail too
- just assured him he was/is loved any time possible!
From LesleyP ~ My two are almost 19 months apart and I LOVE it. I do not want there to be much more space between any of mine. I let Annie hold him as much as possible (of course always with me sitting there). I made the baby "our" baby, so she is his mother too. There is not an ounce of sibling rivalry so far because she does not have any different expectations. The hardest part is going places like shopping or so forth because Annie is still not staying close by all of the time. You can do it, and it can be wonderful from the get go. Good luck and congratulations!!!!
From djk42 ~ Age and distance do not really matter - my sister was 23 when I was born and she hated me and we had a bad case of sibling rivalry until she grew up recently. *LOL*
We tandem nursed our first two, who were 17 months apart, and that helped a lot with sibling rivalry. Like all sibs, they love each other but they fight too. Aren can pound his sister, but no one else better try.
From tkls-mommy ~ Oh boy can I ever relate! I have four and my oldest will be 5 next week. One thing I learned is it's actually (for my kids, and anyone I have ever talked to) easier when the child is younger to cope with having a new baby in the house. My first was 13.5 months old when my second was born and he acted like it was just normal to have a new baby. He never got jealous at all. My next two were 20 months apart and my last two 18 months apart and it didn't seem to bother any of them. The only thing I notice is they seem a little shy around me at first. My two year old (now) was so in love with the new little guy, he was always kissing him and wanting to "hold" him. Hope this helps. I am excited for you! Congratulations.
From OzMum ~ I won't kid you, it's hard work but I think that's just the change from one to two. My two are 16 months apart and I wouldn't have it any other way. #1 has shown no signs of rivalry and aside from being a little too exuberant in his displays of affection, they're fine. If I had my time again, I'd do it exactly the same way again.
From sheri ~ First off, Congrats!! My older two are 17 months apart. Josh was so excited when we brought his baby sister home. He took it upon himself to protect and guide her. They have always been the very best of friends. They are 7 and 6 now, and I still find them sitting all squished together on the couch with Joshie's arm around Krissy's shoulders. I just love it! It was actually a very smooth transition, going from 1 to 2 babies. Start talking to your daughter now about babies, and what babies need, and how babies act. I'n sure over the next few months, she will get used to all the talk about babies. When you start showing, maybe explain to her that there is a baby growing in your belly, and she is going to have a new brother/sister, and playmate. I love having mine close in age. It is easier for them to play together. Mine are 7, 6, 3, and 20 months old. Good luck, I'm sure you will just fine. Don't be afraid to ask for help from DH and family!!
From Bettie ~ My two are 23 months apart, and it is hard the first year but you will get the hang of it before you know it. Now they are 7 and 5 they are really great friends. I only wish now that my little baby had a sibling close in age to her. They entertain each other when they can't go outside, they have secrets, they share their things, they roomed together for a long time, they hold hands, and look out for each other. They are very good friends and I wouldn't have wanted it any other way.
From MaggieS ~ Maddie and Charlie are 14.5 months apart and Charlie and Kat are 23 months apart. I have to tell you going to three was easier than going to two. Maddie was and is an excellent big sister to a baby. She is quite the little mommy. Charlie is a good big brother. He loves to kiss Kat and touch her and hold her hand. He even tries to share everything with her. I think I am the luckiest mommy in the world!
From Nichole331 ~ Congratulations!!! My son was 20 months when my second son was born. He took to him beautifully. Aside from being a very busy mommy, things have gone very well. Thats not to say I haven't caught Ryan giving the baby a little pinch once in a while when he is frustrated!
From Maribeth ~ My boys are 19 months apart. They're now teenagers (13 & 14) and best friends. It was tough the first year because Eric was still so dependent on me and Chad had some major health problems, plus my husband had to travel for work so I was on my own a lot. The saving grace for us was they were great sleepers and I did manage to get them to nap at the same time.
I think it's really special to watch them play (and they still do at this age). They can't wait to tell each other about their day at school (they're at different schools right now). There's some rivalry - but mostly with sports. And we did have some problems with grandparents playing favorites which my boys kind of sorted out themselves! It's cool that they know each other's friends and invite each other to do things with friends. As a sister who had two brothers much older than me, I'm really glad that my boys are close in age (and close in heart!).
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