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From Tigo ~ I'm currently a wohm 4 days a week we have a great babysitter in our home and I'm only a couple of minutes away. Reasonable job with little stress but I'm really wanting to be with my daughter more. I was off for 9 months after she was born. I'm expecting #2 in January and am taking a year off and am planning on staying home full time after that - maybe working a day a week doing bookkeeping for my husband's business but no more than that.
I was feeling really good about the plan but I've been on vacation for 1.5 weeks. The first week was great but my husband was home on Tuesday because it was a holiday and my babysitter came in on Wednesday. It's been only about a week of me being home and the house is a complete disaster - I've yelled at my daughter several times - I never yell at her - and I've been really feeling like a failure as a mother. She only naps for 1 hour a day now and I cannot figure out how to get anything done around the house. I'm not a good housekeeper at the best of times but things are crazy right now. If I'm just hanging out with her, it's fantastic but the minute I try to do anything else it's a disaster. I'm feeling like I don't know how I'll manage 12 months home with 2 children let alone staying home for 5 + years.
I'm really just venting - I have 18 months to figure it out and get better at it - I'm thinking if there was a course for this I'd be doing great - a Master's degree in SAHM would be right up my alley.
From Patti ~ My house is always a wreck and I've resigned myself to the fact that with children it will never be neat. It's been really hot here and with a 15 month old with acid reflux problems going outside is limited in high heat. You do the best you can, I try to do some cleaning in the same room as my son and do the rest a little at a time when my husband is watching him.
From djk42T ~ "Cleaning the house while you children are growing is like shoveling the walk while it is still snowing." -Diller
From Cait ~ I'm way busier now that I stay home than when I was working full-time! WAY busier! I manage to keep it all together by organizing activities. For instance, we have a lot of neighborhood kids my daughter's age, so we get together x times a week and even swap kids for a couple hours some days. Plus, I find if we don't get out of the house I get a lot more irritated with my daughter and I know I'm being unreasonable.
Also, my daughter was in Montessori last year and will do some sort of nursery school this fall for a couple mornings a week--those few hours are critical for me so that I can get housework done or just have some "me" time.
The keys I've found though, are just being organized about what needs to get done (i.e. errands, wash floor, etc.) and assigning certain days to get them done--and then sticking to it. I'm usually pretty easy on myself because I know the kids are going to occupy the majority of my time.
From JM ~ Hang in there, there will be a period of adjustment and then I am sure you will get the hang of it. What works for me is getting all my jobs out of the way first thing, we get up and my son plays while I unload the dishwasher, hang the laundry out etc and then we have breakfast, I clear up straight after brekkie and tidy round and then we both have a shower and get dressed. Afterwards I might vacuum around and then we go out to my son's activities. When my son has his sleep I do other jobs around the house (cleaning etc) but ironing I do when he is in bed at night.
If you potter round then it won't build up and be a nightmare, also encourage your daughter to help you (she might be more of a hindrance than a help but it makes the shores fun).
LOL and if all else fails, hire a cleaner!
From gloria ~ My dream all my life was to be a mom; I would day dream about holding and playing with my child. Nine years later, I had Luke and I am a sahm, and I was so excited to finally have that dream come true. But, in this dream I forgot about housework!! Oh my dear if I had a house clean all the time, I would be a happy mommy, but for some reason the house being upside down makes me ugly. I find that I get more irritated when it is like that, and I yell at Luke more, and I feel Luke has a real bad mommy!
I never worked outside the home with Luke, so I can't say if it is easier or harder, but I worked without Luke and I can tell you one thing--this is the hardest kind of job I have ever done, but I love it.
When I think of having to get up and getting us ready and dropping him off some place, and me heading in my own direction makes me sick to my stomach. On that note I have to swallow the fact that the house is a disaster area, and that there is not much I can do about that.
From Tigo ~ Thanks guys! I'm feeling a bit more positive (maybe because our babysitter came back on Monday and the house looks a bit better.) Today was my day off and we had so much fun together and she loves having me here so much.
I do get her to help and it does make things better. Even if I give her a little job she doesn't mind that I'm working. I also think that because she doesn't get enough Mommy time when Mommy is around she expects 100% of my attention. Which is fair. I think once I'm home the novelty will wear off a bit and giving me 4 minutes to empty the dishwasher will not seem so bad to her.
I have been back to work for 2 days and she's hating it - yesterday my husband came up for lunch and she was sitting on the step with the babysitter and she just put her hands up to say "I don't know" and said Momma and started to have tears run down her face. How sad is that? Anyway whatever I end up doing after my maternity leave (12 months) I'm so much looking forward to being home with her and the new little one full time for at least a year.
Oh and I did have someone to come it to help with cleaning during my last maternity leave. I don't know what I would have done without her. It seemed like quite an extravagance but it kept both my husband and I a little more sane.
From RNShelli ~ My word of advice . . . get a housecleaner. I have someone come in once per week and do all the nitty gritty things that I never seem to get to like scrub tubs and toilets and change sheets on the bed. My house is 100x dirtier with me and my son home and the housekeeper is the best investment that I ever made. Some days I feel like I have the 1 year old tornado behind me. It can get frustrating when you begin a cleaning project and then the child decides he wants you and only you NOW and the dirt remains for weeks to come.
From willsmom ~ I certainly know how you feel. I only have one (26 months), but his little hands are constantly busy. For example, yesterday I was trying to prep the hallway for painting (silly me). My son came up and leaned against the freshly primed wall (of course, even though that's something he never does). As I am throwing the overalls in the washer, he is in the kitchen taking the oatmeal off the floor that he strewed there the night before when I was making a fruit crisp, and putting it in the dog's water bowl while spilling water all over the wood floor in the kitchen. Later, while he was supposed to be taking his nap, he took off a poopy diaper and then proceeded to sit on the rug, his Gymbo doll and his sheet. Couple him with the dog, and I have to be constantly attending to someone's needs and/or picking up after them.
There will be times when it will make you crazy, but you will get the hang of it, and realize that the house isn't all that important. Plus, the older they get the easier it gets. Despite all that went on yesterday, my son is a lot easier to handle now than he was a few months ago. He's still into everything, but he is able to listen and follow instruction more.
JM gave great advice - keep on top of things in the morning. Then get out of the house - run your daughter ragged and she might take a longer nap. I do Gymboree and the playground, outdoor play, etc. to wear out my son.
I'm also thinking of getting a babysitter once in a while in the afternoons because my husband is working long hours and travelling a lot. I have so many projects I need to do, and I'm going to go nuts if I don't get to do them, so I'm going to splurge and get some help around here.
From Susan Michelle ~ I think that we all have bad days. Now that my daughter is 2.5 years old, she likes to "help out" with the chores. I have her do little things while I'm running around like a chicken with my head cut off doing the rest. She really thinks she's a big girl when she's helping out (and it's adorable). Our son is another topic all together, he wants Mommy in plan sight 24/7...lol. Now that he's 8 months old he's starting to play with our daughter and it gives me a couple of minutes here and there. My Mom always told me that I should never expect to have the perfectly cleaned house when staying at home, it can be tight with bills, etc., but somehow it always works out in the end. When my daughter was little I used to think she was nuts (making that statement) but she's right. The sun always comes up tomorrow and things always get done somehow (maybe just not the day I wanted it to).
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