I think one of the biggest misconception out there these days about the mom who works outside the home is that working mothers put their jobs and/or careers first - and their families last. As a working mom who has made her family her number one priority - even at the expense of being at odds with her employer at times - I can assure you, it is a myth.
I'm not talking of women who have demanding and time sacrificing jobs like that of an attorney or a doctor. I'm not speaking of a super magnate such as Oprah Winfrey who has herself admitted she could never devote proper time to have a family - or Rosie O'Donnell, who while being a strong advocate of family first - has a staff and nanny to help her while she spends countless hours honing her television show.
I'm speaking the every mom.
The Mom who is a secretary, a cashier, a supervisor . . . the Mom who races from work to the daycare, the Mom who comes to work with throw-up on her suit, a run in her stocking and a jelly handprint on her blouse . . . but troops on through her day anyway.
There are few working moms I have encountered that do NOT put their families, especially their children first. Whether it's a matter of declining last minute overtime, taking odd hours and swing shifts, letting the chores wait - even taking days off "just because," working Moms are making the grade. Going on field trips, volunteering as cubby moms, making sure they schedule early days to make those bake sales and school plays . . . they are doing everything possible to ensure that their families needs are met.
According to Working Mother Magazine, 67% of working parents have said no to business trips because it's conflicted with a child's activities.
After my son was born, I made it known to my employer that last minute, late night assignments would be things that I could no longer do. I had to have at least 24 hours prior notice for overtime requests - NOT because it would really cause a hardship for me - but because I wanted it established that my new baby, my family obligations, had to be considered first.
I worked out an early hour schedule, which in the beginning was met with resistance, but which turned out to be beneficial not just for myself, but for the rest of my colleagues as well. By coming in by 6AM and leaving at 2PM, it allowed several fellow coworkers to change THEIR schedules from 8 to 5, to 10 to 6PM. It allowed me to spend the majority of my son's waking hours with him while another co-worker was able to take her children to school every day after sharing a family breakfast - something she'd missed upon returning to the workforce - but now was able to do with her adjusted hours. Our employer was happy, because the new flexible schedule meant office hours were covered from 6AM to 6PM, work productivity was up, employee absences were down - because family obligations were being allowed to be met too.
Here are other ways moms are handling Family Time and you can too:
- After picking up your child from daycare, instead of going straight inside, take a walk around the block or neighborhood. It's a great way to reconnect after a long day, and it's especially nice for the older kids.
- Order take out - or make a cold supper - and have a picnic! Your backyard - even the livingroom floor will do. This takes the time away from preparing, and allows you to spend more evening time with the kids - and it's fun!
- Put aside 30 minutes each day for story time, either right before bed, while dinner is simmering, or any place where you think you can steal a couple of minutes. Find a comfy chair or quiet corner, and read to your child; or if they are old enough, let them read to you.
- For the older children, allow them to set the table, get involved in making the salad - even a 4 year old can tear lettuce - and take advantage of these times to talk to your littlest members of the family.
- If they have homework, instead of sending them to their rooms, sit down with them while they do their homework. This is a good time to write out your bills, balance your checkbook, or offer to help them on a particular subject. They just want time spent with us, and sometimes, it doesn't have to be anything elaborate, just time out of OUR day - for them.
Working Mothers are finding so many ways to spend time with their families, and with a little forethought and planning, time is easily set aside.
The most important thing is this - the laundry can wait another day, the floor doesn't have to be vacuumed THIS second. Taking the time now with your children, remembering that the little things DO count, will ensure that they never forget that they came first.
For more ideas on family planning, read Kathy Peel's book, The Family Manager's Guide For Working Moms, which can be found at the StorkNet Bookstore.
