I think all Mothers must have pangs of guilt at times regarding the things they didn't do, could have done/should have done.
Working Mothers are no exception - and if anything - probably feel those pangs more often than they would like.
Looking at my son Christian, especially now that he is in Kindergarten, I wonder what are the things that I can do for him to make his little life a little easier. Are there things that I could be doing that I haven't? Are there things that I have done - that I didn't do correctly?
I go down a mental checklist on a daily basis, making sure that I have not left anything undone.
- I changed my work schedule to reflect his school hours.
- I make sure that I spend at least a portion of our day reading a book - inquiring about his day.
- I make sure I keep in touch with his teacher via email
- I make sure that my husband and I alternate our presence at school activities.
But then - something slips … and it doesn't matter if 99% percent of the time I think I've got it right - if I forget -then I feel as if I am the world's worst Mom.
It all started with the pajama party and Dr Seuss Day. Never mind the fact that in the back of my mind, I am trying to envision thirty 5 and 6 year olds running around their classroom in pajamas. I can surely take care of that!
But when my little guy looked up at me with big brown eyes, asking if I was going to be there to read his favorite book aloud to the class…. like the rest of the Mommies…
"I'm sorry Christian … I won't be able to do it this time." Hello Guilt.
This would be the ONE time neither Mommy nor Daddy could make it…. what could I do??
Then it hit me. I told Christian to get his favorite book - and that I would be able to read it to the class…Mommy had an idea!
Already - at 5 years old - he had that "Mommy what are you up to?" look.
I wrote a note to his teacher. After I got the thumbs up from her …I set off for a hunt in my house … looking for an old relic that I haven't used in years. I HAD to find it to make this work!!!
…. My old forgotten cassette player.
In the age of DVDs and CDs … how have we forgotten how useful those cassettes were??…Especially for recording!!!!!
With Christian beside me…and Horton Hatches The Egg in my lap - I read the story aloud…into the tape recorder.
What a sense of relief I felt as I finished the story and shut off the tape.
How I smiled as Christian played the tape over and over…sitting with the book in his lap, as Mommy's voice came through the tape player.
…But I can't describe the feelings I felt, when he looked at me with the brightest smile … and said " Thanks Mommy …this is the next BESTEST thing"
