Taking lessons of home and work balance from people we see and know is important, but just as important is not to compare or compete. What works for others may not work for you. Here is an example of a dual income couple with four children who have made clear boundaries and choices about how to manage their home and work lives.
Tony Blair is the British Prime Minister and Cherie is a successful lawyer specializing in employee rights and workplace discrimination. Their fourth child was born last month and their oldest child is 16.
Clear boundaries between work and home are the secret for Prime Minister Blair. Mornings from 7:30 a.m. to 8:30 a.m. are considered undisturbable family time for family breakfast. Seven thirty in the evening marks his family dinner hour. Any work brought home is put aside until after family time.
Think about your own boundaries - are they clear? Some of the advantages of clear family time boundaries are:
- Less guilt: Reduce the guilt of not being with your family all the time by making a time when they will have your full attention.
- Less stress: Reduce the stress of not working right now by setting the time you will be back working.
- Clear messages: Your work colleagues will know when they can and can't contact you so you can give them or your family your full attention.
Cherie Blair, has an unusual style in managing her demands of public life, work and family. She lets the little things slide and doesn't take them too hard and focuses on the people. As described by a good friend in "The New York Times Magazine" article on May 14, "the defining feature about Cherie which has made what is a quite complicated life possible for both of them is the fact that she is disorganized . . . she has done it by just, as it were, accepting, with a sort of 'Well, there you are, that's what happened,' completely unaffected sort of manner . . . she's very popular, always able to connect with people, and that makes life hugely easier. It is not easy, their life but it is so in the end because of Cherie's not being a perfectionist."
Most of us live fast-paced, action-filled lives so remembering what is most important and not sweating the little stuff can keep us de-stressed and more flexible.
Action Steps For You:
Boundaries:
- Write down the times you want to keep sacred for family interaction
- Determine what needs to be done to keep these times sacred
- Do it!
Priorities:
- Write down what stresses you most day-to-day
- Determine which of these items you can let go
- Determine which of these you can eliminate through changing systems
- etermine which of these you can eliminate through setting boundaries with others
- Do it!
Sandi is a professional coach helping people to achieve their best in life. You can email her at SLSE123@aol.com or visit her expert Q&A at BlueSuitMom.com.
