Surrogacy
By Judith Lolas, MSW, ACSW

Q. I have recently been asked to be a surrogate for my sister-in-law and brother-in-law. I just had a baby April 3 of this year and really want to do this for them. My husband is all for it, but he wants me to get counseling first. Do you agree? I don't think I need to speak with someone -- I'm following my heart.

A. I most definitely think some counseling is in order before you do this. We always believe we can handle it, and many can, but sometimes it is harder to do than you could imagine. In some ways, it's easier because this is family and you will have contact with the child and can love it. In other ways, it's harder because of that very same issue . . . and if you change your mind, family can be more difficult to deal with. I would strongly suggest talking to someone before you agree.

I commend your generosity and compassion for your efforts! Not many would be able to do this . . . and if you can, what a wonderful gift!

With Care,