Our thanks to Jennifer Bowles!

1. StorkNet Member: It's funny that I popped on here this morning and saw this discussion. I have never had any real problem with my husband-- he has a bad temper, but he has never hit me and has been working on his temper. This very morning my daughter (7 months) fell out of our bed because I fell asleep. I felt bad enough about letting her fall out of the bed, but then my husband had to come in and yell at me like I meant to do it or something. He stuck his finger in my face while he was talking and I pushed his finger out of my face. He proceeded to knock me in the back of my head very hard. I was holding my daughter. I put the baby down and ran after him and started hitting him in the back and he threw me around a little. I am so upset, I left and came to work early just to get away from him. He knocked me down one time before we were married, because of a fight he had had with his mom. I understand he is really stressed right now, but so am I. I don't know what to do? I am so upset I am thinking about divorce. I was in an abusive relationship for 5 years so I refuse to put up with abuse from anyone since then. What should I do?

Jennifer: Your story and question reminded me how very difficult the transition can be when a baby enters into a relationship. I imagine you and your husband have been sleep deprived and feeling the pressures of increased responsibility that such a transition can bring. If there is a tendency to react violently whenever there is a confrontation (either with words or actions) this can be increased a great deal when there is the added stress of a baby. It is a time when mom's (and dad's too) can be sensitive about any mishaps that happen.

I'm glad your husband has the awareness that his temper needs work. Is he getting counseling? Did you have any counseling between the previous relationship that was abusive and this marriage? I would recommend you both get counseling together to give you a safe place to express your feelings and to have a trained person assist you and your husband in learning better ways to communicate.

There are often low cost counseling centers if money is a problem. Working on the way that you interact with one another and learning how to communicate without violence will be the best gift you could give to your new baby. If your husband is truly wanting to work on how he deals with his temper you have a better chance of working out your relationship.

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Questions and Answers (Click on the linked numbers below):

 1.  Husband's temper
 2.  Divorced, did not keep documentation for protection. What should I do?
 3.  I'm getting divorced. Do I tell the judge about my husband's anger? Should my daughter be with him?
 4.  How do I find an Abuse Center in My area?
 5.  How can I help my friend see that she's in a cycle of abuse?
 6.  Thank you, Jennifer
 7.  Is verbal abuse considered domestic violence?
 8.  I've left my husband - why do I feel so sad and guilty?
 9.  I'm being abused but no one can tell.
10. How does domestic abuse affect the children of the marriage?
11. When do you get past the damage?
12. Husband abusive and terminal. I'm pregnant. Can I make it on my own?
13. Therapists and false memories
14. Who do we tell if a child in my son's class is being molested?
15. My children are afraid of their father but he has part custody, what do I do?
16. This relationship is tearing down her self-confidence piece by piece.
17. I got away from the abuse but now my daughter is suffering.
18. Why do so many women end up in abusive relationships?
19. Is yelling verbal abuse?
20. Steps toward recovery?
21. Parents drinking affects the holidays
22. My dad was verbally abusive to me and I now suffer from low self esteem.
23. I can hear the neighbors fighting. What should I do?
24. My ex says no to counseling, but I want my kids to go.
25. Is my boyfriend showing signs of being abusive?
26. How can I prevent visitation rights?
27. Question about one of Jennifer's comments
28. Finding strength and independence
29. I worry so much about my children when they are with him and his new wife.
30. My friend got out of one abusive relationship and into another.
31. Helping my brother with his temper
32. My husband is an alcoholic.
33. My sister is abusing me.
34. My mom was abusive. Will I be too?
35. Abusive husband and a new baby
36. How is past abuse from my deceased husband affecting my 4 1/2 year old?
37. My best friend chose a controlling boyfriend, just like her father. Help me explain to her.
38. My husband intimidates me into sex. Is this abuse?
39. Husband has anxiety and is becoming violent
40. Separated, pregnant and thinking of working things out with abusive husband
41. Question about verbal abuse?
42. Is my boyfriend abusive?
43. Ex-husband and unpaid child support
44. Surviving molestation
45. Our arguing has turned physical now
46. I left my verbally abusive husband
47. Woman realizes she is the abuser
48. Husband's health is making him angry
49. Abuse and chronically ill
50. Abusive relationship and going through divorce proceedings
51. Granddaughter may lose custody
52. Relationship with abusive boyfriend is like obsession
53. Very afraid of abusive, threatening husband
54. Are my boyfriend's actions abusive?
55. I worry that my children will be molested because I was
56. Why do women stay or have a hard time leaving?
57. I need help to get away. What can I do?
58. Elderly parents are abusing each other, alcohol involved.
59. Is my daughter being abused by her stepmom?
60. Do you discuss female domestic violence towards men and children?
61. Friend keeps going back to abusive boyfriend
62. Alcohol problems as teens related to growing up in a violent home?
63. I left my abuser... a message of hope
64. How to help a pregnant friend
65. Resources for domestic violence in the military?
66. Nephew in abusive relationship
67. My husband is too controlling
68. Advice from someone who stayed
69. I left and now I'm confused
70. Thank you, Jennifer
71. My husband mentally abuses me
72. I've taken steps to leave my abusive husband, but am worried about my daughter
73. Abuse in friendships?
74. Why do women oppose mandatory reporting?
75. My husband is frightening me with his anger
76. Am I becoming my father?
77. Love and abuse
78. Boyfriend threatens me
79. Husband wants me to get an abortion, is verbally abusive.
80. My mother-in-law is harrassing us
81. Children verbally abusive like their father
82. Son and daughter-in-law's arguing affecting grandson
83. Should I call my husband on each verbal abuse?
84. My fiancé babysits and I am worried about his temper
85. My friend's child is affected by abuse by father
86. Every time he hits me, he blames me for it, then repents, apologizes and feels bad.
87. Acquaintances from church--the woman is attacking her husband. How can I help?
88. Shelters - how do you find your funds to live on and where to go?
89. My friend appears to have no way out!
90. My husband is in prison and we're divorcing. Visitation rights?
91. If you are in immediate danger