Our thanks to Jennifer Bowles!

3. StorkNet Member: Hi Jennifer. I believe that I was in a domestically violent marriage. He would scream and yell, and punch holes in the wall as well as throw things. He never hurt me or our six-month-old daughter. My question is this, we are now separated and I am filing a divorce. It took me a long time to find this courage, mind you. Should I tell the judge about his anger, and should I let my daughter be around him. I don't think he would hurt her, but I am scared of her being around his temper. Please help. Thanks.

Jennifer: I am always in admiration of the strength it takes to leave a relationship that is violent. Do you have an attorney that you have been able to be open with about your husband's history of outbursts? This person can best advise you about your particular case and it's chances to have supervised visits and or demand counseling for anger management.

It isn't a great leap from punching the walls to hitting a human being. It is still quite frightening to witness the level of rage it takes to punch walls. If your daughter's father is willing to work on his anger it is certainly best for her to have ongoing contact with her father.

Keeping your relationship with him as civil as you can will be beneficial for you and your daughter. If it's a possibility that her father is open to anger management without court order that would be ideal. So often it is not the case however. Definitely discuss it with your attorney so that you make your decision from an informed place.

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Questions and Answers (Click on the linked numbers below):

 1.  Husband's temper
 2.  Divorced, did not keep documentation for protection. What should I do?
 3.  I'm getting divorced. Do I tell the judge about my husband's anger? Should my daughter be with him?
 4.  How do I find an Abuse Center in My area?
 5.  How can I help my friend see that she's in a cycle of abuse?
 6.  Thank you, Jennifer
 7.  Is verbal abuse considered domestic violence?
 8.  I've left my husband - why do I feel so sad and guilty?
 9.  I'm being abused but no one can tell.
10. How does domestic abuse affect the children of the marriage?
11. When do you get past the damage?
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16. This relationship is tearing down her self-confidence piece by piece.
17. I got away from the abuse but now my daughter is suffering.
18. Why do so many women end up in abusive relationships?
19. Is yelling verbal abuse?
20. Steps toward recovery?
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26. How can I prevent visitation rights?
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37. My best friend chose a controlling boyfriend, just like her father. Help me explain to her.
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51. Granddaughter may lose custody
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54. Are my boyfriend's actions abusive?
55. I worry that my children will be molested because I was
56. Why do women stay or have a hard time leaving?
57. I need help to get away. What can I do?
58. Elderly parents are abusing each other, alcohol involved.
59. Is my daughter being abused by her stepmom?
60. Do you discuss female domestic violence towards men and children?
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68. Advice from someone who stayed
69. I left and now I'm confused
70. Thank you, Jennifer
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80. My mother-in-law is harrassing us
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84. My fiancé babysits and I am worried about his temper
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86. Every time he hits me, he blames me for it, then repents, apologizes and feels bad.
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88. Shelters - how do you find your funds to live on and where to go?
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91. If you are in immediate danger