Our thanks to Jennifer Bowles!

72. StorkNet Member: My husband sexually abuses me. I have taken steps so I can get out but my concern is with my daughter. Do I let a man who is capable of that kind of act see his child? She is very close to her dad and he shows no signs of being that way toward her but I can't stop thinking if he hurts me in that way, why wouldnt he hurt her? He says I am sick to think such a thing, but I am not willing to accept his advise. If he did not want me to think like that, he should have had more control of his actions. Thanks.

Jennifer: I can sure understand your worry and concern. I am glad you are out of harm's way now, but it is so scary to have to release your child into his care if he has visitation. Seeking legal advice would be a good step as well as speaking to a therapist experienced in family violence just so that you know what you are up against. If he continues to have visitation with her the best protection you can give her is open communication with you and other adults she trusts. I don't mean to frighten her with your experiences, but rather educate her with age appropriate material about good personal boundaries, what is appropriate behavior between adults and children and model that behavior with her yourself. Reinforce that you will protect her from anyone who might try to hurt her (without signaling that you fear it could be her father) but that you will need her help: to tell you if someone ever tries to hurt her. The therapist you speak with might give you some helpful ways of speaking/educating your daughter especially related to her developmental age. And getting some therapy yourself would be helpful, as what you have gone through with your husband was likely traumatizing. Good luck and take care.

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Questions and Answers (Click on the linked numbers below):

 1.  Husband's temper
 2.  Divorced, did not keep documentation for protection. What should I do?
 3.  I'm getting divorced. Do I tell the judge about my husband's anger? Should my daughter be with him?
 4.  How do I find an Abuse Center in My area?
 5.  How can I help my friend see that she's in a cycle of abuse?
 6.  Thank you, Jennifer
 7.  Is verbal abuse considered domestic violence?
 8.  I've left my husband - why do I feel so sad and guilty?
 9.  I'm being abused but no one can tell.
10. How does domestic abuse affect the children of the marriage?
11. When do you get past the damage?
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13. Therapists and false memories
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15. My children are afraid of their father but he has part custody, what do I do?
16. This relationship is tearing down her self-confidence piece by piece.
17. I got away from the abuse but now my daughter is suffering.
18. Why do so many women end up in abusive relationships?
19. Is yelling verbal abuse?
20. Steps toward recovery?
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23. I can hear the neighbors fighting. What should I do?
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25. Is my boyfriend showing signs of being abusive?
26. How can I prevent visitation rights?
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36. How is past abuse from my deceased husband affecting my 4 1/2 year old?
37. My best friend chose a controlling boyfriend, just like her father. Help me explain to her.
38. My husband intimidates me into sex. Is this abuse?
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41. Question about verbal abuse?
42. Is my boyfriend abusive?
43. Ex-husband and unpaid child support
44. Surviving molestation
45. Our arguing has turned physical now
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50. Abusive relationship and going through divorce proceedings
51. Granddaughter may lose custody
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53. Very afraid of abusive, threatening husband
54. Are my boyfriend's actions abusive?
55. I worry that my children will be molested because I was
56. Why do women stay or have a hard time leaving?
57. I need help to get away. What can I do?
58. Elderly parents are abusing each other, alcohol involved.
59. Is my daughter being abused by her stepmom?
60. Do you discuss female domestic violence towards men and children?
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64. How to help a pregnant friend
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68. Advice from someone who stayed
69. I left and now I'm confused
70. Thank you, Jennifer
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80. My mother-in-law is harrassing us
81. Children verbally abusive like their father
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83. Should I call my husband on each verbal abuse?
84. My fiancé babysits and I am worried about his temper
85. My friend's child is affected by abuse by father
86. Every time he hits me, he blames me for it, then repents, apologizes and feels bad.
87. Acquaintances from church--the woman is attacking her husband. How can I help?
88. Shelters - how do you find your funds to live on and where to go?
89. My friend appears to have no way out!
90. My husband is in prison and we're divorcing. Visitation rights?
91. If you are in immediate danger