Bowles is a licensed clinical social worker currently working
in California as a medical social worker at a county hospital.
She obtained her Master's degree in social work from U.C.L.A.
Since graduating in 1993 she has worked in a variety of settings,
including private practice, with children and families, frail
elderly, and chronically and terminally ill clients. Prior to
becoming a social worker she was a deputy sheriff. She believes
this law enforcement background provided her with an increased
sensitivity to abuse issues, including domestic violence.
She has seen
first hand the damage domestic violence does to the individual
and family. It crosses all demographic barriers: financial, racial,
ethnic, age and sexual orientation.
Our thanks to Jennifer Bowles!
Member: Help! My neighbor's husband is beating her. She went
to the protective services and she did not go to their safe house.
Instead she came home with me and I hid her out for a day or so
and then she went home. The next day the CPS came and took her
children. She went to court 24 hours later and the judge gave
the children back, but they now have to go to court for charges
against them both for neglect/abuse. There is no way she can afford
an attorney to defend her and now the CPS agent told her she has
to go to family counseling, and she has to be with her husband
until the charges are resolved. He is still beating her but she
really has to hide it now because they said if any more violence
happens they will come and get the kids again and she won't get
Now I know
this sounds odd, I thought so too, but I went with her to the
protective agency and I went with her to court and I have been
with her each time they meet with cps, and I have tried to get
her an attorney, pro bono only work for the children and everyone
else wants 2500.00 to retain. I have called over 250 lawyers here
in Las Vegas and there is not one that will help. I want to get
her out of here secretly but can not. And now they go to trial
and she still has no representation, and they are going to hang
her in court. She also found out in court that her husband has
been in prison for kidnapping a teenage girl he was dating 15
years ago and assault on that girl, and now they are holding that
against her too. She did not know he had done this, and on top
of all that she has been with this man since she was 16 years
old and never knew all of this. She is 25 and completely lost.
She doesn't know where else to turn, the courts are saying she
is endangering her children but will not let her leave now that
she is in court proceedings. I would like to get her help without
anyone knowing and have heard of organizations that will hide
you but not sure if that is the way to go either. I wouldn't even
know where to start to even locate an organization like this.
Signed: Loosing faith in the law.
I hear and empathize so much with your frustration with the system.
It sounds like you and she have both tried through all the normal
and even unusual channels to find her some help. Have you talked
with the administration at the domestic violence shelter? I have
had the experience of overzealous protective services workers
as well as those that will find no cause to remove the children
from a very abusive situation. Your friend is in such a difficult
spot. I recently had a client who was facing the worst possible
situation I'd heard of and needed an attorney. She was able to
get one and I believe it was through the local law school. If
you have one in your area please check that out also. You are
in a good position to advocate for this woman, but I would not
seek out the line staff at protective services. Go to the supervisor
or someone with some power in administration. I have seen that
work for a client here.
radical idea is to speak with the newspaper staff. If you can
get her story out she will likely get some assistance and support
from numerous other people. If she or you attend a church try
appealing to them for some assistance. Check into Catholic Charities
or other religious service groups. They have helped a lot of my
clients with move in costs. She needs as much support from as
many avenues as you and she can get. I don't know how to get services
from what I refer to as the domestic violence "underground railroad".
I do remember seeing an article years ago. You have to be very
careful at this point because running while it may be a good idea
as far as her survival she could be getting herself further into
legal problems. I can only imagine what life on the run would
be like and if caught she could lose her children permanently
or worse have them given to her husband. Please let us know how
you and she are doing.
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Questions and Answers (Click on the linked numbers below):
2. Divorced, did
not keep documentation for protection. What should I do?
3. I'm getting divorced.
Do I tell the judge about my husband's anger? Should my daughter
be with him?
4. How do I find
an Abuse Center in My area?
5. How can I help
my friend see that she's in a cycle of abuse?
Thank you, Jennifer
7. Is verbal abuse
considered domestic violence?
8. I've left my
husband - why do I feel so sad and guilty?
9. I'm being abused
but no one can tell.
10. How does domestic abuse
affect the children of the marriage?
11. When do you get past the
12. Husband abusive and terminal.
I'm pregnant. Can I make it on my own?
13. Therapists and false memories
Who do we tell if a child in my son's class is being molested?
15. My children are afraid of
their father but he has part custody, what do I do?
16. This relationship is tearing
down her self-confidence piece by piece.
17. I got away from the abuse
but now my daughter is suffering.
18. Why do so many women end
up in abusive relationships?
19. Is yelling verbal abuse?
20. Steps toward recovery?
21. Parents drinking affects
22. My dad was verbally abusive
to me and I now suffer from low self esteem.
23. I can hear the neighbors
fighting. What should I do?
24. My ex says no to counseling,
but I want my kids to go.
my boyfriend showing signs of being abusive?
26. How can I prevent visitation
27. Question about one of Jennifer's
28. Finding strength and independence
29. I worry so much about my
children when they are with him and his new wife.
30. My friend got out of one
abusive relationship and into another.
31. Helping my brother with
32. My husband is an alcoholic.
33. My sister is abusing me.
34. My mom was abusive. Will
I be too?
35. Abusive husband and a new
36. How is past abuse from my
deceased husband affecting my 4 1/2 year old?
37. My best friend chose a controlling
boyfriend, just like her father. Help me explain to her.
38. My husband intimidates me
into sex. Is this abuse?
39. Husband has anxiety and
is becoming violent
40. Separated, pregnant and
thinking of working things out with abusive husband
41. Question about verbal abuse?
42. Is my boyfriend abusive?
43. Ex-husband and unpaid child
44. Surviving molestation
45. Our arguing has turned physical
46. I left my verbally abusive
realizes she is the abuser
48. Husband's health is making
49. Abuse and chronically ill
50. Abusive relationship and
going through divorce proceedings
51. Granddaughter may lose custody
52. Relationship with abusive
boyfriend is like obsession
53. Very afraid of abusive,
54. Are my boyfriend's actions
55. I worry that my children
will be molested because I was
56. Why do women stay or have
a hard time leaving?
57. I need help to get away.
What can I do?
58. Elderly parents are abusing
each other, alcohol involved.
59. Is my daughter being abused
by her stepmom?
60. Do you discuss female domestic
violence towards men and children?
61. Friend keeps going back
to abusive boyfriend
62. Alcohol problems as teens
related to growing up in a violent home?
63. I left my abuser... a message
64. How to help a pregnant friend
65. Resources for domestic violence
in the military?
66. Nephew in abusive relationship
67. My husband is too controlling
68. Advice from someone who
69. I left and now I'm confused
70. Thank you, Jennifer
71. My husband mentally abuses
72. I've taken steps to leave
my abusive husband, but am worried about my daughter
73. Abuse in friendships?
74. Why do women oppose mandatory
75. My husband is frightening
me with his anger
Am I becoming my father?
77. Love and abuse
78. Boyfriend threatens me
79. Husband wants me to get
an abortion, is verbally abusive.
80. My mother-in-law is harrassing
81. Children verbally abusive
like their father
82. Son and daughter-in-law's
arguing affecting grandson
83. Should I call my husband
on each verbal abuse?
84. My fiancÚ babysits and I
am worried about his temper
85. My friend's child is affected
by abuse by father
86. Every time he hits me, he
blames me for it, then repents, apologizes and feels bad.
87. Acquaintances from church--the
woman is attacking her husband. How can I help?
88. Shelters - how do you find
your funds to live on and where to go?
89. My friend appears to have
no way out!
My husband is in prison and we're divorcing. Visitation rights?
If you are in immediate danger