Amy:
Why should I get dressed all the way to my shoes? I'd rather
wait and put them on as I get ready to leave.
FlyLady:
This is so easy! So you will have on your "Go To Work" ATTITUDE.
If you are in your gown tail all day, you will feel slouchy
and lazy, in lounging mode. If you will get dressed to lace-up
shoes, your head will think it is time to work, instead
of veg out on the couch. Try it for one week and prove me
wrong. THOUSANDS HAVE TRIED, NONE HAVE SUCCEEDED. When you
lace up your shoes, you have tied them to your feet so you
can not unconsciously kick them off and revert back to LOUNGING
MODE!
Nancy
G: How can I keep organized while chasing a very active
two year old? It seems that I can never keep the clutter
at bay because I am always having to lift something away
from her reach. The biggest problem for me is no kitchen
counter space. Small kitchen and everything has to be pushed
back six inches. Help! Thanks.
FlyLady:
Now is
the time to teach this child the meaning of "No!"
Also, let her help you. They want to be in the kitchen helping.
Give them a job. You will be surprised at how much fun the
both of you can have, if you will channel this curiosity
and let them feel useful. Even if it is play, they will
be learning how to wipe, and clean, peel potatoes with peeler
(not a real sharp one). Many two year olds love to vacuum,
sweep and feather dust. Give them their own tools. A little
spray bottle, child's broom, feather duster, rake. One member
that was interviewed in Oklahoma has gotten her Dear Daughter
(two year old) a toy vacuum. She loves it! She help put
dishes and silverware away (not knives) and make her bed
nice like Mommy, pick up toys and she has her own routines.
Children are very trainable at two. You may also have too
many things on your counters and tables. Get rid of some
of the clutter. You will both feel better.
Leslie:
Dear FlyLady, I love your ideas, but they seem geared to
a work-at-home or stay-at-home situation. I work several
12 hour days each week. Can you make any suggestions to
amend your plans to better suit someone who works this sort
of schedule? Thanks for your clear thinking!
FlyLady:
You have to go to bed at a decent hour and get dressed as
soon as your feet hit the floor in the morning. As well
as laying your clothes out in the evening before bed. Even
simple routines will get you started toward a more peaceful
life.
Mary
Beth: Okay, I need help! I've got four children (ages
10, 8, 3 and 5 months) a husband and a cat! I am constantly
"picking up" all day... by
the time I'm through "picking up," there's no time for actual
cleaning. How do I get my family organized so they can help
out? I think all but my baby should be doing their fair
share. I should be able to spend my housework time actually
cleaning instead of cleaning the trail of junk they all
leave behind them. Help please!!
FlyLady:
You have
to set the example first and quit feeling like a martyr.
You are blessing your family each time you pick up and clean.
The way to get more family involvement, is to make it fun.
Do a crazy clean like one of my members shared today. The
whole family pitches in for one hour each week and they
do all their weekly cleaning. As for the constant pick up,
you have too many things for them to get into and they are
not putting them away when they are finished. Every hour
on the hour, have a two minute game of pickup and put away
to fun music. Set a timer and everyone work as fast as they
can. Each night before bed attack the hot spots the same
way. Everyone has to put away their things before leaving
the room for bed. Sort all their toys into four boxes and
rotate the boxes each month. Cull the broken ones and put
them away, then get out a fresh new box of toys for them
to play with. NEW TO THEM!
Alison:
I'm really struggling with the morning routine because I
have a one year old who gets up really early and doesn't
nap well. Any suggestions?
FlyLady:
What
time are you going to bed? Get your bath in the evening
so you can get dressed rather fast in the morning. Your
routines may be too big. Baby steps. Practice. Put the baby
down for a nap at the same time each day. (S)he doesn't
have to sleep, just get things still for a while. This will
be good for you too. You need the quiet time as much as
the baby.
NessaBelle:
How do I get a almost four year old to help clean her room? We
have tried everything. Thanks.
FlyLady:
Just
telling a four year old to clean a room is too overwhelming.
You have to give them specific instructions. Get rid of
the clutter that is clogging up this room. The poor baby
doesn't know where to start or what to do. Help them get
it clean first and then establish routines for this child
with pictures on a sheet. They can help cut up magazines
for this. The problem is too many toys and clothes they
don't wear. Gather them up and teach them the joy of giving.
Clean out their drawers so they have a place to put their
things and clothes.
Sharon:
What is the best way to organize the "plastics cabinet?"
Mine has sippy cups, rubbermaid containers, pitchers, plastic
bowls, and countless lids, plastic plates, etc. etc. etc.
And it is a mess. Help!
FlyLady:
I would
toss most of it out. You have too many. Only keep the bare
necessities. I threw out all my rubbermaid, tupperware,
and buttertubs long ago. I use ziplock bags for leftovers.
Toss and go. No guilt. As for sippy cups, Just how many
do you need in one day, if you wash the dishes morning and
evening. Only having a few will force you to do the dishes.
Our
clutter is making our lives unmanageable. Tame the clutter
and you will bring peace back to your life.
JenT:
I have joined your email list and printed out the first
two emails that I received (in digest form). I have to admit,
I feel so overwhelmed! Where do I start? I am such a perfectionist
that I would rather not do anything than do something poorly,
and hence I feel this need to jump in and do everything
that you're suggesting all at once, which I know just isn't
feasible. Thanks!
FlyLady:
Stop
this!!! House work done incorrectly, still blesses your
family. Did you read your welcome letter? If not, do it
now.
I want
you to go shine your sink, FIRST!
Get
Dressed to Shoes
Lay
out your clothes for tomorrow.
This
is it.
Baby
Steps will get you there. I could not do it all either.
For the first month, I just concentrated on keeping my sink
clean and shiny. It is contagious. I promise. Our
perfectionism and the belief that we can do it all, is why
our homes are in the shape they are in. Let go of this and
live.
Trixi:
If you had one piece of advice for organization for a mom
who works full time outside the home what would it be?
FlyLady:
Go to
bed at a decent and get off of the computer until the wee
hours of the morning. You are not getting enough sleep.
You are dead tired. STOP THIS and you will find the time
for your routines.
Deborah:
One of your "11 Commandments" says not to get sidetracked
by the computer. I find myself spending way too much time
on the computer and I admit it. I have an 11 month old son
and I still can't seem to stay away from the computer. My
husband works on the computer when he comes home from work
so I can't use it then. Please help, I'm addicted to Storknet.;)
Just kidding though. I do need some kind of guidelines though
since my son is getting to the walking stage now. Thanks.:)
FlyLady:
We have
a very honest member that sees her problem. My hat is off
to you. Many people are in denial about this, as they are
about most addictions.
Use
the computer and Storknet family as a reward for completing
your routines. Do not turn on the computer until your routines
are done. I know that you can get your Franny in Gear, when
you have this computer carrot waiting for you.
Use
the computer as a tool, instead of place to get attention
for whining. Challenge each other to 45 minutes of work
and meet back at the top of the hour for 15 minutes of support
and more challenges. On the SHE boards, we call this TOTH!
See you at the TOTH.
Set
a timer and limit your time on the computer. Stick to it.
You will be so surprised at how much you can get done, when
you will get your Franny up out of that chair.
Stephanie:
I have a couple of Pam and Peggy's books, and I've tried their
3 x 5 system before, but even that's too much for me! Can
you help as pathetic a housekeeper as I? After the sink,
what are the "babiest" baby steps? (P.S. Speaking of babies,
I have one to keep up with -- and things really do take
twice as long now!)
FlyLady:
The first
thing I notice is that you are putting yourself down. This
has got to stop. YOU ARE NOT A PATHETIC HOUSEKEEPER! Now
you have me crying. It breaks my heart to hear my dear sisters
say negative things to themselves. Now take this back. You
are just overwhelmed and you need some guidance. {{{hugs}}}
Shine
your sink,
Get
dressed to shoe, fix your hair and moisturize your face
or put on some make up.
Lay
out your clothes for tomorrow.
You
can do this. I promise. I don't care if it does take you
twice as long. This is where to start.
Tica:
DH and I were having issues about the clutter and dirt in
the house. After going back to work, we were unable to keep
up with all the housework, work, and kids. Anyway, I hired
a cleaning lady to come in once a week for two hours. She
is doing a wonderful job and has made our life better. So
I need some advice about how to unclutter one area of the
house... When we come in, we tend to drop everything on
the kitchen counter which is a clutter of mail (incoming
and outgoing), photos, stuff from work, lists, and change
(from pockets, keys, pens, etc) How do I de-clutter this
area? And keep it that way?
FlyLady:
As soon as you walk in the door put things where they belong.
You dump them in a hot spot. Find them a home and deal with
it as soon as you get home. It will only take minutes. Declare
this area a clutter-free zone. I used to have one of these,
It was a chair in our entrance. Once a declared it my clutter-free
zone, I would actually hang up my coat. Is your coat closet
too full? Do you have a desk to put your mail on? Toss all
the junk mail immediately. Do you have a trash can handy?
Do you have a place to put your keys? I keep mine hooked
to my purse. If all else fails, keep a bouquet of flowers
on your hot spot. Before bed and in the morning check your
favorite hot spots and put out those fires before they get
out of control.
Shelby:
As a mom of three children with a full time job, I find
it impossible to get a lot done around the house. The best
way I know is getting the kids to help. How do I teach my
eight year old not to be a slob? The rest of the family
is fairly neat and he is in the room for ten seconds and
it's a disaster area. He is horrible. He drops his clothes,
garbage everything where he stands. We have followed him
around, grounded him, reminded him constantly. We've tried
making it a game, we've tried paying him, we've tried having
him realize its a family responsibility. Nothing seems to
work. I just can't keep up with him any longer. HELP!
FlyLady:
By you setting the example. He is looking for attention
and he gets it by being messy or he is probably a HeSHE(sidetracked
home executive). He has a lack of focus. Many of my members
have been this way all their life. Having "Born Organized
Parents" is the hardest part. Many of these children
don't respond well to go clean your room. They are just
as overwhelmed as my 16,000 members, they don't know where
to start. Try helping him learn routines, but this is going
to be hard if you don't need them. If all else fails, have
him email me and I will help him. If you are really Born
Organized, think about the way you speak to him. No more
negative talk. There is no way you can understand the turmoil
that he is in. I am not making excuses for him, I just want
you to understand that he can be helped.
Kelly:
I actually have two questions. #1 is that I am in the process
of getting my body back in shape after having baby #2 in
December. I have a hard time fitting it into my daily routine.
I like to get up and do it before getting a shower and doing
my morning routine but I would have to get up at the crack
of dawn before the kids get up. How do you suggest working
in a workout?
FlyLady:
Make it part of your day. Exercise does not have to be sweaty
to be good for you. A walk in the park is just as good as
other forms of exercise, as long as you do it consistently.
10 minutes a day is better than no minutes. Baby steps.
If you make it too hard, you won't do it at all. Make it
part of your day by including the children. Dance around
the house with them. Laugh and have fun. You can work up
quite a sweat doing your weekly cleaning.
Kelly:
Question #2: I don't have a washer and dryer right now and
with a family of 4 the laundry really piles up. I go to
my parents house to do my laundry but it is an all day affair.
Do you suggest doing that on errand day or taking a whole
separate day to do it?
FlyLady:
If you
go to the laundry, it would not take you as long, but that
is a question of affordability. How many loads do you do
a week? Do you have time to do it on an errand day? That
is probably piling on! I would not suggest that. I used
to have to do that when my son was a baby. We would spend
the day with his Grandmother and everyone loved it. Make
the most of it and enjoy the help with the children, if
you have it. You will not always have a mother, so take
this time to get to know her better. I know, because my
mother just died at Christmas.
Kelly:
Thanks for the help you've been. My life has already changed!
Kathi:
I really need to get organized and stay that way but I am
clueless on how to start! HELP! :) I found your website
and testimonial very interesting and it's made me hopeful.
I am somewhat doubtful though that this will work as well
for mothers at home with young children (my second baby
is due within two weeks and I have a 4.5 year old son as
well). I noticed that your son is grown and wanted to know
if you really think this system will work for someone who
has mess-makers in their midst all day long? Morning and
evening routines won't keep my house clean, not with two
boys! My 4.5 year old will pick up his things but not without
supervision that takes quite a bit of time from my day.
Nothing I have done seems to change this fact. Add to this
that I am a terrible pack rat and neither my husband or
I are what you could call "neat freaks" LOL. I thank you
in advance for any advice you are able to share with me
(all of us).
FlyLady:
Why should he clean up when you don't practice what you
are preaching at him. Get rid of the clutter and you will
see a difference in all the family. Also, your attitude
has to change. I hear some whining too. "Morning and evening
routines won't keep my house clean, not with two boys!"
Yes they will, if you will get rid of the clutter, so they
will not have so much to pull out and mess up. You have
to set the example. Have you joined the group yet and started
with your baby steps? You can all learn. Even 4.5 year olds
can do routines. They love them. Cut out pictures with them
and make a chore chart. Don't say you don't have time! Work
on this together. I don't expect you to be a neat freak.
Start with small routines.
Kimberly:
How/where do you fit personal exercise into your routine
with an early rising baby? With shower and dressing at the
top of the morning routine and a baby who needs to eat right
away I am not sure how to fit in much needed exercise. I
am keeping my sink clean though... Thank you.
FlyLady:
What about using the baby in your exercise? I have seen
this done. Take a walk with a stroller, do aerobics to fun
music while the baby watches. Get a back pack/sling for
baby and hike. Or just do sit ups with the baby on your
legs. Make it fun for you and your baby.
FlyLady:
Thank you for asking some very good questions. If you have
not already joined our group, then by all means come on
over and sign up. The more the merrier. I never dreamed
that I could mentor 100 members much less 13,000, but God
has a plan for our group. I believe that when we take care
of ourselves that we are better able to take care of our
families. This is not a selfish thing to do. I want you
to FLY along with me to find the peace that God has
in store for you. Finally Loving Yourself
is the key to this happy and fulfilling life.
Marla
AKA FlyLady
FlyLady
image used with permission from FlyLady. |
