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Amanda's Pregnancy Journal

Week 19
~ All Is Well - With Baby

ultrasound of faceI hate to be the one always complaining - but I can't help it this time, and it really bothers me because I'm not a complainer by nature; this pregnancy has just been really stressful so far. I said I would stop worrying about finances, but we got hit with a doozy this past doctor visit. I thought we would be paying $370 for only two months, but it turns out to be three!! I tried to ask them if we could spread out payments since I'm not due until the end of November which is almost five months, but the insurance consultant said no. They require all money to be received by 24 weeks, but they are actually giving me a little more time. I wish they would have suggested the payments a little earlier so it wouldn't be so rough. They are also including my deductible and I don't understand why the doctor is. I have hospitalization insurance separate from my provider and I'm pretty sure they pay my deductible - but it probably goes to the hospital, not my doctor. This whole thing is just very confusing to me and getting very expensive; I think it is quite sad when you have insurance and still can't afford healthcare. We are using our stimulus check in its entirety (plus some will be left over that we will have to put on a credit card, something we really wanted to avoid) which we were saving for when I'm out of work. So Hank needs to get a job, like last month! Haha. He is working on it though.

Well, I got the ultrasound report this last visit, and they said that everything looks perfectly fine and her growth is right on par with the ultrasound I had at seven weeks, so my due date isn't changing. Which is nice - when I went for Gabe's 20 week ultrasound, they set me back two weeks. The ultrasound said 17 weeks and five days at the imaging center (though I was really 18 weeks and five days), but I measured right at 19 weeks on this visit in fundal height. I was looking back at Gabe's ultrasound pictures, just to compare (I still can't believe we're having a girl!!) and reflect; and his ultrasound was on June 24, 2004 - this one was on June 27, 2008. It is funny that their birthdays will be so close together. My best friend said "at least you know your most fertile time of the year!" I have included an ultrasound photo of her face.

I also haven't gained any weight. The doctor didn't say anything about it, though. I gained back 3 pounds since I haven't been having really bad morning sickness, but I haven't gained anything in five weeks. I am fine with that! I know the baby is alright, growing fine, and I have been taking my prenatal vitamins every night. I wasn't the skinniest to begin with so I will take the 20 pounds lost and run with it! But alas, I know I will gain most of it back at some point.

GabeGabe was so cute when he was posing for pictures with his sister's dress; I included a picture. He was also riding his video game bike with the dress on the handlebars. I am still worried how he will take having a baby around. I know he is good with babies - my sister has a four month old, and he adores her - but when there is a baby around all the time, how will he feel? There is a Big Brother/Big Sister class at the hospital that I think I will see if Hank wants to take Gabe to as a family. Hank is struggling with the idea of having a second child and making sure she has just as much attention. He was a second child and always felt kind of left out and not as important as his brother when he was growing up. Plus, he had been labeled "the problem child." So he is determined to make sure that both children feel equal. I was the oldest child and I know my sister wasn't treated the same as me; I wonder why that is with parents? My mom tries to make me feel guilty about it - how I was my dad's favorite and my grandmother's favorite, but I don't know why she does that. It's not like I had a choice, plus I spend a lot more time on my relationships and doing things with my grandmother and father, whereas my sister didn't. Hank has already expressed concern that he is not giving this baby enough attention already. I told him she is in the womb for goodness sake and I'm sure she doesn't mind if you give my belly less attention than Gabe - but it is still sweet, isn't it?

My headaches have been doing much better. I started wearing my reading glasses, because I was willing to try anything at this point (besides hard drugs!) to get rid of them. I didn't have a headache for 2 days, which was great. Then I got hit with one really bad on one of Hank's brother's last nights here. I was stuck on the couch with a heating pad on my neck - every time I moved, it hurt. Hank was surprisingly nice about it. I think he thinks that I am making up these things or that I am exaggerating - but who would want to fake a debilitating headache when there are much better things to do? I would rather spend time with Gabe or hang out with his brother before he left than be in fake pain. I think he is just used to me being more chipper and having more energy. But I have told him I am not making these things up, this pregnancy has been rough on me as well as you. Hopefully I will be feeling better soon.

I have been feeling faint and short of breath a lot too. Sometimes it's scary, but I know it's normal as long as it isn't very frequent. Sometimes I get up to wash dishes or something of the like, and have to go sit back down for a minute because my body says no.

I've been feeling her move a lot! Every day I feel her now. Especially at night or when I first wake up. She likes to kick the cervix, I'll tell you--that feels really strange. You still can't feel it from the outside; I felt a kick from the outside once but that was it - not enough to send people running to feel. They will probably be able to feel in the next two weeks.

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Maybe this is me, but it seems like my boss at work isn't as friendly to me as she used to be. And maybe this is just me again - but it seems since I told her I was pregnant. We used to talk all the time (we share an office) and joke, now we barely talk. I try to start conversations with her, but she doesn't seem like she wants to talk, so I stop. I don't know if she is mad because so many people are pregnant right now (I am the only one in our office - but the girl that does the same job as me in our Tampa office is pregnant and we are due five days apart), I think there is around 4 or so total that are pregnant. Maybe it is because they will have to hire so many temps; I have no clue. I know that my boss doesn't have children and she told me before that she wanted to but things didn't work out; maybe pregnancies make her sad. Maybe she is just stressed with things I don't know about. I just hope that she isn't mad at me for something I did and I don't know about it. I want to ask her, but every time I want to, it seems too awkward. How do you ask your boss if she is mad at you for something you did? So, needless to say, I am worried everyday that I might be fired or something, I don't feel too secure. So on top of everything else. . . Perhaps I'm just a worry-wart??

Well, that sums it up! I will add some tummy shots when there is something more to show. Talk to you all next week!

~ Amanda

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