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Amy's Pregnancy Journal

Week 31
~ Hanging in There!

This week has been fairly uneventful... Nothing really different happening on the home front. My back has started to really give me some problems. Mostly my lower back. I am finding relief from stretches, massage and hot soaking baths. Sleeping is becoming more difficult. I am up an average of four times a night going potty, and joke that I am about to move the bed into the bedroom. My feet are also swelling a little more than normal now than they have been. They are giving me some discomfort, but they seem to go down once I go to bed at night and stay off of them for the night other than my frequent potty trips. Baby is still moving, not as active as he was just three or four weeks ago. I'm hoping it's a sign that he is running out of room, they were wrong all along about my due date (like I originally have said all this time) and maybe birth is just a few short weeks away!

I've been doing a lot of thinking as to birth and all here lately. I guess it's because we are getting closer and closer. One thing that continues to make me nervous more than anything about this baby's arrival is my preferences for birth. I've tried having this discussion with my husband and it usually ends in a very heated argument between us. I will try and explain. My mother-in-law has made my life a living hell since I got pregnant. She (at first) when they could not find the baby when they did the first ultrasound, said I was not pregnant and should not get my hopes up on being and then find out I wasn't. Then two weeks later, when we had a more detailed ultrasound done, was insisting we give her pictures we got from the ultrasound. (OK no problem with a copy of a picture, but you are not getting my originals) I waited until I was out of the first trimester to start buying things that we would need for the baby. After all, those little people take a lot of stuff, and it takes time and to me at least, made more sense to start as early as possible to prepare for a baby. I waited until after the first trimester, because of fear of miscarriage and even then... up until I knew what the baby's gender was, mostly bought things from yard sales, and neutral basic layette type stuff. I did not go overboard buying stuff very early on, because I knew there were things like showers that I needed to wait about before I went out and finished our shopping and completely getting ready for baby. Every time we bought things for the baby, she turned her nose up about it! I was a fool for using the bottles we had recommended by three professionals to use because of the cost of them. I was told (even after the showers) that I was getting ahead of myself, I was going over board, etc... Our last shopping trip for the baby, my husband and I took together last weekend. It was to basically finish getting the few last minute items that I knew we would need for when he arrived. It's not like we went out and spent thousands of dollars, our shopping trip was for a list of items, that consisted of less than 10 items. When he told her we had everything that the baby would need once he arrived and told her the last items we bought, (things like a swing, I found a good deal on crib sheets and bought 3 bringing my total crib sheet count to 6, a bottle warmer, an extra infant head rest, a few extra flannel changing pads, some extra diapers and wipes, breast pads for me, and nursing bras) her comeback was that's a little excessive. This lady told me back around my 16th week that basically this was HER grandchild and I was nothing to it other than an incubator! Imagine if you will, how that made me feel. I kept it to myself, mainly because I did not want to create any family problems. When we started discussing birth plans a few weeks ago, I told my husband that I was actually considering changing OB doctors (and I LOVE my OB) and having the baby in a hospital that's about an hour from our home, mainly so that I could have privacy in those first several days, to rest and not be overwhelmed with visitors. He told me that I was being selfish . . . I finally told my husband what she had said to me, some weeks before and what my fear of labor, here in our home town was going to be like. I can see it now, because the hospital has somewhat of a liberal visitation policy even for laboring women. They pretty much let anyone walk in and out of LDR that wants to.

Here is the problem: my mother in law has some 'health issues' and she can not be around things like perfumes, some other hygiene products, cleaning products etc... She has a chemical sensitivity problem, and while some of it I believe (as well as other people in the family), I think that it's somewhat exaggerated. I told him that the moment he called and let them know that I was in labor, the whole family would be up there, camped out in the waiting room. The problem with that? How long before either someone walks by with something on them or housekeeping cleans something and she tries to use that as her 'window' into the labor room with us? Especially since she is not one to be outdone, and will more than likely be very jealous of the fact that my mom has been asked to be there to support my children's needs? No offense, my mom gave birth to me, my mom also was there when my other two kids were born. The thought of her being there does not bother me, and the reason for her being there is to support my older kids. With my mother-in-law though, I have not exactly developed a relationship with her to the point that I would not mind if she sees me with my rear end bared and legs in the air!

Needless to say, I am a little worried about all this now that birth is coming sooner and sooner. Even with my husband saying he will support my wishes and will back me up. He has never been one to stand up to his mom especially. I also voiced my concern about the resting issue and also breastfeeding (my mother-in-law is NOT for me breastfeeding) I guess we will see how it all works out in the end. He has been told that he needs to advise everyone that once the baby is born, they really need to call before they just pop in, and that because the baby will be breastfeeding, they need to respect my privacy when it is feeding time. I've breastfed before, but this time with the reduction and all, I want time to establish a good feeding routine.

I am sorry for venting here, but this whole in-law thing has about got me ready to pull my hair out!

Until next week and when I see the doctor again . . .

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