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Anne's Pregnancy Journal

Birth Story!

AFTERTHOUGHTS

Anne and Baby GraceHomebirth works. Had I gone to a hospital when the surges suddenly started coming 2-3 minutes apart, I would have been pressured to use Pitocin or other artificial means of "moving things along." I would have been offered epidural anesthesia multiple times. I might even have taken it in a moment of doubt, and then, I would never have known that I possessed such a deep strength as I now know myself to have. Probably, we (baby and I) would have still taken a long time to complete our journey, especially stuck in a room, in a bed, with the culture saying "shhh, don't raise a fuss," and after many hours would have been pressured to have a Cesarean section. I would have fought against that - HARD. Eventually, fear might have taken over, and I might have consented, or I would have birthed my baby naturally, fighting an uphill battle all the way.

Instead of an arduous uphill battle in the hospital, I simply walked the sometimes rocky road of birth. At home. Surrounded by trusted loved ones. Surrounded by those who trust birth. My labor was allowed to unfold its own winding path, in its own time. My baby was allowed to choose her time and manner of birth. I was granted the space to birth myself as mother. I would have gone nuts if I hadn't been able to roam the house, room to room, bed to chair to backyard to tub and back again. But I was able. And that made a huge difference. I would do it all again in a heartbeat.

HypnoBirthingTM works, too. It took me a few weeks to really process my birthing experience to be able to say that again. At first, I felt like a failure at that part of things. I was sure that all my years of teaching HypnoBirthingTM would somehow guarantee the smoothest, most normal birthing ever. Life doesn't work that way. What it did give me was the smoothest birthing possible for THIS birth. If I had not been able to rest between surges and remain as relaxed as possible, I wouldn't have made it to 12:06 AM, Wednesday, January 4th when my baby rotated her face towards the camera for a photo opportunity before the rest of her had slid out of me yet. If I had not done the work of focusing on the deeply imbedded vision I had created of birthing my baby in the loving comfort of our home, I would not have been able to tell myself "I CAN I CAN I CAN!" when everything else in me (in contrast to those around me) was telling me "I CAN'T," I would have asked in a moment of fear and discouragement to go to the hospital. But I DID do the work of envisioning my birth. I DID do the work of practicing how to relax when it seems impossible to let go. I DID do the work of practicing how to let birth happen. Despite all my struggles and doubt, I never once asked to leave my home. Something in me believed. It all paid off.

I'm still amazed at the total wonder of the experience of birthing. I know I struggled - hard. It took a long time for me to let go of my birth dreams and embrace my birth reality. It wasn't how I'd planned, yet it was exactly right. And, though it seems to be what everyone else says about birth, after it was all said and done, I got a beautiful baby girl out of it.

Welcome, Grace. You are sweeter than I could have imagined.

Grace Elizabeth
Birthday: January 4, 2006, 12:06 am
Weight: 6 lbs 10 oz
Length: 20 1/2 inches

8 days old
8 days old

Future politician at 4 weeks
future politician at 4 weeks

Family dinner anyone?  8 weeks
Family dinner anyone? 8 weeks

Gracie fun time at almost 4 months
Gracie fun time at almost 4 months

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