Some weeks are laced with significant and life-altering events while others seem to be smooth and uneventful. This week would qualify as the latter. And in its own light it is a beautiful thing. I feel as though I am somewhat relaxing through the "calm before the storm." Not that I would want to classify the events leading up to and including labor and delivery and the thereafter as "stormy," per se. But I know they will haul in a great deal more of the crazy and eventful type of weeks.
Thus, this week has left a lot of time for reflection. I feel myself straddled between a life previously known as my own and the road that lies ahead. This stirs up a plethora of mixed emotions: hope, loss, anxiousness, fear, happiness, doubt, contentment. I feel sad some days because I miss having the energy and ability to get out and tackle the world. I love going on long hikes through the mountains, skiing, riding my bike, and running long distances. But the good thing is that I know I will be able to pick up all of these things again in due time. I also plan to instill my love of adventure and the outdoors in my son as he grows up, which I know is a beautiful and very positive thing. I am also full of so much joy I could almost burst! I almost want this baby out right away so I can play with him and sing with him, see what he looks like and watch his personality unfold. "All in due time," I tell myself.
This week also brought out my inner "sap." I honestly need to rent strictly "comedy" movies from here on out. Love stories; stories of miraculous life achievements, and drama have all left me weepy and low on tissues. I noticed my golden retriever had somehow grown a sufficiently greater amount of white/gray hairs around the circumference of her eyes which just sent me over the edge! I think watching "Marley and Me" didn't help things one bit. But I began to think of love and loss. Of how everything you love in your life will at some point be taken away or cease to exist. I can only imagine how being a mother will exponentially radiate these intense emotions.
On a lighter note, I have been spending loads of time with my husband. It is sort of strange because these days we are both not working and home all day. Somehow we have managed not to strangle each other; rather, we've been soaking up our precious time together as a slowly dwindling "twosome." We walk the dog together 3-4x/day, we go to the gym and work-out together, eat all of our meals together. And we manage to maintain our Friday "date night" custom. I started reading a baby theory book this week which highlights the importance of remaining strong as a couple. The authors suggest that the "nucleus" of the family remains as the married couple instead of the "nucleus" shifting to that of the new baby. They feel that the baby derives a greater sense of leadership through parents who maintain a strong bond vs. parents who spend every waking second attending to their baby instead of each other. I think there is a good point behind this theory. I will continue to read and keep learning more. I attempt to keep in mind, however, that "theory" and "real life" don't always exist in perfect harmony.
I continue to feel physically great. I have been taking a weekly Pilates class which is great because it gets me doing exercises that I don't do on my own. It also gives me a little time to hang out with other "preggo" ladies which gives me a sense of camaraderie that I don't get on a day to day basis. Out of my immediate group of friends I am the "crazy" one who decided to get married nonetheless the "insane" one that decided to have a baby. They are throwing me a baby shower next week and I have the feeling there will be more tequila than punch going around the table. Well, punch for one, anyway! I will fill you in on the details next week . . .
My husband continues to spend every (or almost every) waking moment working on his big project of the summer--the kitchen remodel. I love that he is so passionate about this project but on the other hand I just have that inner feeling that it will be nowhere near finished or should I say barely begun by "baby arrival." I am trying not to let this stress me out. I am happy that he is so involved and excited about this. Maybe if baby is trained to sleep through construction noise he will be able to sleep through anything. Here's hoping (please cross your fingers for me).
I hope everyone enjoyed their Easter holidays and/or spring celebrations. Until next time,