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Amanda's Pregnancy Journal

Week 12
~ Back on Track

There's nothing worse than witnessing your child in severe distress and pain. Last week I'd like to call a "sludgy" week where time just stretched on and poor Owen just battled out his nasty virus. It was so nice to see the light back in his eyes! Life is back to (somewhat) normal again!

The reality of the pregnancy is finally sinking in, I believe, as my belly grows larger. I literally stop in front of the mirror to check out the bump each time I pass it . . . nerdy I know! I'm so super stoked about it!! I think I really needed an outward physical sign of baby growth to feel more confident about the pregnancy. Let's hope all is going well inside the belly too. My next appointment is the day after Thanksgiving (this coming week) so I'm very anxious about that. I really want to announce my pregnancy to the world but I'm still so scarred from the miscarriage before and want to feel positive and confident before I go shouting from the rooftops! My immediate family knows and a few close friends I couldn't help but spilling to. Other than that this has been quite the covert operation! (Oh and of course all you out there reading my journal, of course!)

So apparently vivid dreams are often part of this whole pregnancy raging hormone package deal. I've had many to date, too many to count yet one I had this past week that has become engrained in my brain so I'll share it with you. I was about halfway through this pregnancy and the baby had grown to a decent size and looked human and everything. I'm not sure how but it somehow got out of my body (without labor or anything crazy . . . imagine that!) Anyhow, the baby was alive but I started freaking out! The baby's not done yet! He/she needs more time! I started shouting to the surgeons . . . "Put her back in! Put her back in!" I made them surgically cut me open and stuff the baby back inside and sew me back up. Like she was a roast that still wasn't done cooking in the oven! I'm sure this was a product of my post-miscarriage anxiety about the pregnancy. I must be so scared of losing this baby too! I had another pregnancy dream where I was pregnant with twin girls but I guess that's another can of worms all in itself!

All in all I would say this pregnancy is going very well. I think my biggest issues have simply been extreme fatigue and emotional anxiety. The good news is I'm really started to feel my old energy come back around! I believe the biggest issue with my energy reserves, though, seems to revolve around the weather! Seriously if it's a beautiful sunny day I feel extra charged and if it's been cloudy and/or snowing I still find myself needing those afternoon naps! I've really become a product of the weather! Hopefully progressing into the second trimester will bring along some newfound energy reserves, I need them chasing after my personal little Energizer Bunny all day!


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