My husband and I conceived our first child very early into our relationship. I was just 21 when she was born. The pregnancy went along with no complications and our Jocelyn was born June 22, 2002.
A few years later we decided to try again for another child. We became pregnant in April 2005, but sadly lost the baby at 12 weeks. We became pregnant again January 2006, but again lost the baby - this time at 16 weeks. A chromosome test was done and found that the baby had been a molar pregnancy, meaning she had three sets of chromosomes (XXX). After this, I was tested for the next 6 months for a type of cancer that can stem from this type of pregnancy. Thankfully, nothing was ever found. Soon, we became pregnant again and once again lost the baby, but this time it was very early (approximate 4 weeks).
After this loss I was devastated, but wanted to try just one last time. I became pregnant for the fifth and last time in May 2007. I am now 15 weeks pregnant. All looks good so far. I have many fears attached to this pregnancy, but am optimistic things will work out. Below is a poem I wrote shortly after the devastating news of my second miscarriage. I was beyond sad, but so thankful that I at least had my daughter who I then named my accidental miracle.
MY ACCIDENTIAL MIRACLE
One month and one day after I turned twenty-one
I found out that a baby soon would come
I cried and I begged for God to take away
This life inside me for this was just not the right day
9 months later I did see
The most beautiful little girl before me
7 pounds and 11 ounces, we were hysterical
Little did I know she was my accidental miracle
3 years later we decided to try
To bring a new life into this world again, oh my
My little Kayla left us too soon
She was only 3 months in my womb.
With hope in our hearts we soon tried again
I first saw her on the sonogram
Little Scarlet seemed so strong and so brave
My heart fell so in love, I was amazed
The technician called her our little peanut
Oh, this day I would never forget!
Soon the doctor's appointment day arrived
It was amazing, I felt so alive
When I heard the fast little flutter
And the doctor said "her heart beat couldn't be better!"
One month later me and my hubby
Went for a check up for the little one in my tummy
But to our dismay, there was no heart beat
Our second little angel had gone to meet
Her sister Kayla and her Grandma too
Oh now what do we do?
Two little holes left in my heart
For the two little souls that did part
But my heart is somehow made whole
By my accidental miracle
Only 40 inches tall
She is the greatest gift of all
Now I truly know, that the paths our lives lead
Are miraculous and mysterious, yes indeed
For this little child that was conceived by mistake
Is the biggest joy of every breath I intake.