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Bec's Pregnancy After Loss Journal

~ Meet Bec!

RebeccaHi everyone. My name is Rebecca, pleased to meet you! I have a partner named Tracey and a gorgeous little boy called Jay who is three and a half and the most delightful thing in our lives. I live in between the beach and the mountains just north of Brisbane in Queensland, Australia. For those of you across the world who might have heard of Steve Irwin's Australia Zoo, I am about 15 minutes away.

Tracey and I have been together for about eight years. We started talking about children about four years ago and decided that we would have one each - why not? She went first as she is five years older than me, fertility clock ticking and all that. We went down the IVF road and decided to use anonymous American donor sperm, as we both agreed we wanted to raise our children on our own without any input from a third party. Trace had very little trouble conceiving and, later, gave birth to Jay after a dream pregnancy and six-hour labour with nothing but a Panadol to ease the pain. Amazing.

When it came time for my turn, fate had decidedly different plans in mind. I became pregnant in the middle of last year and all was proceeding well until out 12-week nuchal scan. Down Syndrome and a major heart defect were detected, and later confirmed with an amnio. Tracey and I made the agonising, heart-breaking decision to terminate knowing that we could not bring a child into the world with such a poor quality of life outlook. So, at 16 weeks and four days, I was induced and endured a 26-hour labour...with a devastating result.

Flash forward almost a year and I am pregnant again. Spookily enough, the embryo I am carrying was implanted on the very same day Jay's was four years ago. A good omen? We hope so. Emotions are many, varied and still raw; and the pure bliss of a "normal" pregnancy has been robbed from us because the constant anxiety strangles some of the joy away...but in our stronger moments, we just try and hope for the best and for the bad luck to be behind us.

~ Bec

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