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Bec's Pregnancy After Loss Journal


Week 27
~ Third trimester, here I am

Welcome to the third trimester. Eeek.

Feeling really well still, although alarmingly like I have been pregnant for about 15 years.

I think it's just the anticipation of meeting our baby.

Now that my family and I are feeling her kick (a lot), there is a renewed sense of impatience at seeing what this little thing causing such comedic belly protuberances actually looks like.

It's human nature, isn't it? You hear a noise, you feel something brushing against you - your need to know needs to be satiated, your curiosity must be satisfied, no matter the cat-killing consequences!

To that end, we are psyched to have a 3D scan done at 30 weeks. The last time we saw our baby in 3D was at the 18-week morphology scan and, frankly, she looked like an embryonic kangaroo. So, personally, I would like these new, updated images for a teeny bit of peace of mind and some assurance that I am not, in fact, giving birth to a hopping marsupial. Although I am sure I will be able to provide it a roomy pouch, given the frightening stretch of my stomach skin right now.

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We often say how Jay looks so like his 3D images even today, when we might sneak a stare at him while he's sleeping or watching TV. So it would be nice to recreate that with our daughter.

I am not feeling uncomfortable really at all - even while camping in some pretty stinky humidity and near-summer yuckness over the weekend. It was camping with benefits (ensuite, swimming pools, convenience store 40 seconds away etc) but camping nonetheless.

My head almost exploded while helping to put the tent up and I was worried that I hadn't felt the baby move much that day, but as Trace reminded me: think of the pregnant women in Africa hauling clay pots of water or rocks or whatever they do at sun-up and sundown, while sweeping their huts out with stick-brooms so short they are forced to bend at an inhumane waisty angle while picking cotton or delivering blocks of salt up 25 flights of stairs or . . . actually she didn't say that, but I got her point.

A few minutes' exertion hammering in three tent pegs in the midday sun was not going to harm my baby.

I am experiencing a bit of heartburn but it's probably a good reminder to ix-nay on the alarming quantities of Milo I am consuming. Straight. Neat. Out of the can. I cannot get enough of it.

I am seeing a physio every few weeks, who is giving me new stretches to do each time I visit. I am really forcing myself to take some time, even if it's 10 minutes a day, to do these exercises strengthening my pelvic floor, transverse abdominal, back and leg muscles. I squat, I pull my legs up and out in very unattractive hip-widening positions, I do yoga's child, happy baby and cat because I am convinced that it will make some sort of difference when it comes time for the labour. And it is certainly making a difference in terms of managing my back pain in the meantime, so I think it's a good thing. I probably should be doing more, but it's better than nothing.

Plus I am wearing an SI belt, which stands for the fascinating term "sacroiliac", a joint in the pelvis that supports the spine. I wear it all day at work and when I exercise after work. Sure it looks kinda funny under some clothes, but I reckon you can get away with a hell of a lot when you are pregnant - and I don't much care: it has helped support that dodgy left pelvic bone.

Otherwise, there is enormous relief at reaching this point of the pregnancy. The point where, if something disastrous happened, our baby would have a very good chance of survival outside the womb.

But, of course, anything can happen.

I can never have 100% faith that all will be well, certainly not after what happened to us last year.

But every day that passes in this pregnancy makes that uncertainty a little less intense. And that is truly wonderful.

~ Bec

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