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Brandy's Pregnancy Journal

Week 21
~ Frustration

Hello All,

This week finds me frustrated with life in general. I'm not exactly sure why. I have a great family and friends and I have a good job and nice place to live. Things should be great right? Well for me, wrong. I don't know what this is. I have really been feeling the financial pressures that come with expecting a third child and maybe that has something to do with it. There is another part of me that feels like I cheated myself out of things I wanted to do this year like going back to school full time and doing some extra things with the girls. I know anyone who reads this will say you are the one who got pregnant and you have no one to blame but yourself and you are so right. However, I have just been in this funk for about two weeks now. I was seriously disappointed last week when the baby wouldn't reveal what it was but I was feeling down before then. Honestly, and this is a terrible thing to say on StorkNet, but I never saw myself as a mother of three kids. A long time ago, I never saw myself as the mother of one. I wanted to go to school and have a career and travel. Well, hindsight is twenty-twenty and my kids are the best thing that I ever did. They keep me grounded and accountable even when I don't feel like it. I know that I have to press on because they are depending on me. God does all things for our good.

On another note, Hope started school today. She wouldn't let me take her picture so I'm going to force some out of her this evening. We walked into the school and I kept looking at her to see if she seemed nervous or afraid and she walked right in that class all by herself, smiled the biggest smile and waved goodbye. It honestly ripped my heart out. My little girl is growing up and becoming as independent as I was/am. I am very proud of her and I know she is going to have a blast!

Little Grace is toddling around all over the place now. She is growing more confident with every step and she is figuring out that she can reach more cool stuff while standing up. We've had a few spills here and there but nothing that can't be scrubbed out or washed away. I enjoy watching her wobble around the living room and the rest of the house. She is so funny. She gets the biggest smile on her face and she knows she is doing something good! I guess you could say that they are the bright spot in my life right now. They make my drive home at the end of the day worthwhile.

Well, I guess that's all this time. Hope you all have a wonderful week!

Until Next Week,
~ Brandy

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Pregnancy Guide Online, Week 21

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