As I write this week I just can't shake this funk. I think I'm going to talk to my doctor about it as it seems to be getting progressively worse. I have begun having a hard time just getting through the days without crying or just getting mad about something ridiculous. I feel ashamed because I should be giving 100% to my kids but I have barely given them 50% or at least that's how I feel. I don't want to bore anyone with the grim details of what's been going on with me these last few weeks but I will just say that things have not been easy at home or on my job. My boss is wonderful but with the upcoming elections going on in our hometown, he has been pretty busy with his campaign and that gives me extra work to do. I don't mind that, makes the time go by but it all just seems a blur right now.
We are still figuring out what to do with the insurance situation. We have worked out a payment plan with the doctor's office but are still going to fight the insurance company because they covered my first four months then decided that they did not want to do that anymore. Maybe it's just stress, I dont know. All I know is I feel like I'm just getting through life these last few weeks. I'm not really enjoying this pregnancy. I've noticed the baby move but it just doesn't strike the inspiration that the first two did. I know that I should really be savoring these moments because you never get them back but I'm just kind of uninspired by the whole ordeal. I go to the doctor and it's like a rerun of the same old thing. I ask the same questions and he gives the same answers. Wasn't I just here a year ago? Matter of fact I was. Maybe that has something to do with it. So enough of this depressing entry.
Madeleine Grace has begun full fledged walking/running. If you put her down for a second, she takes off half running and usually slides to wherever it is she wants to go. It's funny but I'm always catching her to make sure she doesn't get any unnecessary bumps. Hope tells me everyday how much she loves school and she is already learning so much so I'm really proud of her. I guess when you look at it from another perspective, things aren't so bad. Even though I'm down in the dumps, my kids are thriving and doing well and loving life. Maybe I should try that!