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Brenda's TTC Journal

Entry #6 ~ May 19, 2002
~ As Time Goes By

I'm sorry for the delay in updating my journal, but I was waiting to get through a few milestones first!

cabinI'm a whole year older now! My birthday was last week and my husband gave me fabulous presents. First he let me go nuts at a basket party a few weeks ago and buy decorations for my new office. I'm really looking forward to the office move. Our space is currently in a basement and I have had an ongoing cold the last few weeks. Our new space will actually include an office with a window just for me! I've waited a long time for this.

cabinLast weekend, Brad took me to Eureka Springs, Arkansas for my birthday. It was heaven! Brad rented this wonderful cabin that we had for three days. It was so quiet and secluded. We saw the Passion Play, utilized the hot tub, went to a big cat refuge, and Thorncrown Chapel! I have enclosed some pictures from our trip. There are two pictures of our cabin, one picture of a tiger from the refuge, one picture of Thorncrown Chapel, one of Brad outside and cabin and one of me in the trees at the resort. It was such a beautiful place.

TigerLast week, Brad had his first semen analysis since his surgery February 11. We were going to wait until after our trip to get the results, but his urologist called us to let us know not to make any plans for an IUI yet. The count has not changed. I'm not exactly sure what that means since he didn't give Brad any numbers. But we are in the process of requesting the full report now. The results were not an incredible shock. We knew that it could take 6-12 months to see improvement. Still, we hoped that maybe, just maybe . . . This means that we wait another three months for another analysis. Depending on the results we receive from that test, Brad may need to take clomid in order to assist sperm production. Obviously, we would love it if we didn't have to go back for any more tests! But we will have to see what the next three months hold for us.

ThorncrownIn all honesty, the time seems to be flying by with all the other activities going on. But there are still those moments when time stops and we realize just how long we've waited and how long we may still have to hold on. Deep down we still have faith that it will happen; however we also see the timing passing quickly and drawing near a point where we have said "Enough with doctors!" We survived Mother's Day and today at church they held a baby dedication ceremony. I couldn't help but cry as these couples paraded their gorgeous babies across the stage. Oh, I try not to be bitter. It's isn't their fault that I don't have my baby yet. I do feel now that we are closer than we ever have been before! I kept telling myself that it could be us next year, but I almost chuckled as I thought back to all the years I've said that before.

Same song, different year. Play it again, Sam.

Brad  Brenda

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