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Brenda's TTC Journal

Entry #7 ~ July 2, 2002
~ In Good Company

I wish I had something drastic and earthshattering to report about our TTC efforts, but I feel AF knocking at my door. Another cycle gone. We haven't hit the bullseye just yet! We are still waiting for Brad's next appointment in August.

As much I hope this TTC journal becomes a pregnancy journal, I have been reminded over the last few weeks to stop and smell the roses every now and then. As wrapped up as I can be in my own struggle, I often forget that there are others who have faced the same situations and they all seem willing to offer support. It's often referred to as the "club nobody wants to belong to." But it can be a wonderful place to be when you need it.

Just a few weeks ago a business associate of Brad's was asking about the possibility of a family in our future. Brad was able to confide in him that it was taking a little longer than we had hoped. This gentleman then began to tell Brad about his 7 year journey to parenthood and how after they adopted a child, she was followed by two biological children! When I spoke to him he told me "I know. I've been there." I knew he meant it and I believed him. What a good feeling to not be so alone.

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Not too long ago I had to opportunity to gather with some friends that I had not seen in years. This made it a very special time as it was. As we visited, I learned that two other couples in this circle of friends tried to conceive for several years. One of them is currently pregnant. The other tried for 5 years, then adopted a baby that was followed by two biological children. When I learned this I had to confide that Brad and I were in the middle of the same fight. Even though they each had their miraculous news to share, the encouragement, support and offers of prayer were not far behind. When they told me that they understood, I knew they did. One friend told me she would pray for me every day until she saw me again. I have to fight back tears as I sit here and think about this outpouring of love.

There are friends of mine from high school that had trouble conceiving and another that adopted her precious child. When I asked one of them if they thought it was the water from our hometown or just bad luck that so many of us have had serious infertility issues, she simply said, "No. God just knew we would need each other so He put us close together." I can't say it any better than that.

Then there are the members of The Waiting Game, Advanced Fertility Issues and those who e-mail me after reading my journal. I don't know what I would do without you. In the midst of some very low days, it only takes one sad face to begin the onslaught of (((HUGS))).

I never thought someone else could even begin to understand my pain. I searched for a long time for someone who knew how I felt. Once I opened my eyes and started to peek out from behind the blinders, I see I'm not the only person going through this. As I receive such blessings, it's my desire that I can return such blessings to others. I learned that from some pretty good friends.

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