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Brenda's TTC Journal

~ Meet Brenda

Brenda & BradGreetings fellow Storkies! I would like to begin by saying it is a privilege to be on this journey with you. I am just sorry that there are so many of us struggling with infertility! As time passes you will get to know more about me, my life, and my quest to be a mother. I hope you enjoy this journey with me and that it finds us all with a little miracle in our arms!

I am Brenda, and I'm 28 years old. I have been married to Brad, 29, for 9 years. I grew up in Kansas but have lived in Missouri since we got married. My family has always been so important to me. My mom is one of my best friends. She is such an amazing woman and I want to be just like her! My father was killed by a drunk driver when I was 15 which impacted my life a great deal. He was a wonderful man and is sadly missed. It is so difficult to know that my babies will not get to meet him. I have one older brother. He and his wife have given me a beautiful niece and two lively nephews. I love being an aunt! Everything I am I owe to my family. When someone says I am friendly or dependable, I can't help but think that my mom and dad passed on those traits. I am so lucky!

Now on to the love of my life . . . I met Brad when I was only 15 years old, but I knew I had found the man of my dreams. Brad was originally a friend of my brother's, but I soon had him all to myself! After all these years together, it is so evident that God brought Brad into this world to be my eternal love. I am so grateful for that! It is this love that wants to multiply by having a family.

Since we married young we knew it would be a while before we had children. We had no money and I was still in school. By the time I was in my last year of graduate school, I had made it clear to Brad that I was ready and willing to start a family. But I knew we would BOTH have to be in on this decision! I will never forget the day Brad let me know he was ready, too. We were at my mom's house for Thanksgiving in 1997. We were waking up when Brad gave me a huge hug and said, "I think it's time to start our own family." I was ecstatic! We threw away the birth control pills and were on our way!

Then a year passed. I was okay with that. Brad and I had both changed jobs so it was nice to have time to settle in to those. Then another year passed. By this time I had begun my research into family planning methods and was considering the leap into temping and charting. But still I thought it was just taking some time. Besides, we had been on three great trips that year - we were having a ball without a baby! But I could already feel the wave of fear washing over me.

We are now completing our fourth year without using any birth control. We are also in the full swing of fertility testing. We've had bloodwork, a semen analysis and an hsg. I would like to take the next few weeks to process those tests with you as I sort out what they all mean for me and Brad. We still have testing and appointments yet to go. This is the journey I am on. I anxiously await the moment when I will be blessed with my own little miracle. I am not sure WHY my journey is so long, but I DO know why I keep trying. And so do you! wink

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