Week 18 ~ October 17, 2002
~ I'm a crazy pregnant lady!
Ok, this is new. I know I compare this pregnancy to my first a lot, but it just strikes me as odd sometimes how different I feel at times. For example, with Maddie, I was happy, happy, happy. Tom had heard horror stories about how moody and unpredictable pregnant women can be. He would just smile and say, "Oh, not my wife! She's been just great!" I was proud of how I felt and happy that he was so pleased with how pleasant I was. In hindsight, I'm laughing because it's not like I really had any control over that!
I'm not sure what it is that's different, but I definitely feel more hormonal this time. It's like turbo-charged PMS. We went to Boston on Sunday to celebrate a cousin's 3rd birthday. The party started at lunchtime and we didn't leave until 4:30 or so. Well, Maddie is a big afternoon napper, often sleeping 3+ hours everyday, so going to the party meant that she didn't get a nap. By the time we left, she was pooped. She was so over-tired and wound-up from all the stimulation that she just couldn't settle down. She practically screamed the entire hour and half drive home. At one point, I had crawled into the back seat to be with her to try and comfort her. I wasn't successful. So, sitting, all cramped in the back of the Audi, Tom decides he's going to forgo the shortcut and take the long way home. What? I'm uncomfortable, Maddie's screaming and he just went 20 minutes out of our way. I blew a gasket! I remember yelling something like this: I am sorry for yelling (I'm still yelling) but I am just really mad and I have no tolerance for stupidity and your lack of any intelligence in the decision you just made to take the long way home has just sent me over the edge!! (Still yelling) And feeling completely out of control!! Yikes!! What was that!? I can still remember the rage I felt and it was s-c-a-r-y!! Pre-pregnant, I would get PMS, but it was more of a feeling blue thing than an anger thing. Poor Tom. He's such a good sport for putting up with me. Well, did I mention he didn't turn around? Why is it that men can't turn around when they've made a bad decision driving somewhere? Ugh. Can you tell I'm still not over it yet? I think in addition to feeling flaky, I think it's safe to say you can call me one crazy pregnant lady!!
Ok, and since I'm on a bit of a rampage venting, can I share with you what my mom said to me!? She's in town visiting for a few days as hasn't seen me since I was just barely out of the first trimester. I was wearing a fitted lavender T-shirt that shows off my growing belly, a black cardigan with just the top button buttoned, and a pair of boot-cut jeans. I'm sure you can relate with me how difficult it is to feel your best while your pregnant, but I did my hair and put make-up on and thought I looked pretty darn cute. It's better than the jammies I'm usually wearing until noon!! Anyway, my mom looks at me, raises an eyebrow and says, "You're pretty big for just 4-months!! You better slow down!" Argh!! I just felt exasperated and so frustrated by that comment. I DO think I'm showing a lot earlier this time around, and my belly IS big, but there's not a darn thing I can do about it. Hello? The last time I checked, I was pregnant!! My belly is supposed to be big! And it's not like I'm 5'8" and long-wasted. I'm short and short-wasted, so there's nowhere for the baby and any weight gain to go but OUT!! Maybe I'll just stay locked in the house, away from all friends and family until I have this baby. Geesh, if they think I'm big now, they'll think I look like the side of a barn by the time I hit 9 months!!
All right, just one more gripe. My feet are killing me. I've never had trouble with my feet before, but by the end of the day, they feel like I've been standing on them for ten hours. They just ache. I suppose this is only going to get worse too.
I'm just a bundle of sunshine this week, eh? Well, if you made it through my miserable entry this week. Thank you. Somewhere out there, I know someone can relate to all this insane craziness I'm going through. Maybe next week will be better? I hope so.