Week 19 ~ October 24, 2002
~ I need a break!
Hmmm, well, I'm not sure what to make of this. I started spotting two days ago. It was just a teensy bit and I didn't think much of it, until I saw more today. Fortunately, it's brown which indicates old blood, but it's still concerning. I spotted with both pregnancies early on, but it stopped by week 8 or so, and I didn't have any second trimester spotting with Maddie. It could be that chasing and lifting a 20-month-old all day has caused a blood vessel to rupture or something. I've called my OB and I'm just hanging out waiting for them to call back.
I'm feeling a bit calmer than I was last week. I'm still kinda psycho, but the rage is gone, which is a good thing. I used to have a nanny to help me out with Maddie on Fridays, but she had a baby in September and I didn't replace her. I would spend the time running errands, but I would sneak in some time for myself too, even if it was treating myself to lunch or stopping by a little cafe for a cup of coffee. I found that it did wonders for recharging my battery. Of course, I missed Maddie like crazy and thought about her the whole time I was away. I felt that just that little time to myself, I appreciated her so much more, and I think it made me a better mommy. Just this morning, Tom asked me if I wanted to go do something by myself this weekend. I think he acknowledges that I need a little personal time. Hmmm, could it have been the fuse I blew last week that gave him that clue? I think I'm just a bit overloaded with everything we've had going on lately. We've had a slew of company, dinner parties, playgroups, birthday parties and plumbing issues (don't even get me started!) I think next weekend we don't have anything going on for a change. I have a gift certificate from Mother's Day that I haven't used yet to a very nice spa about an hour away. A facial, pedicure and maternity massage sounds heavenly to me right now.
Tom is so excited about this baby. He insists on talking to my tummy every night. He has to say hello and goodnight. He has surprised me because it took him a long time for him to get into it when we were pregnant with Maddie. If you remember, he was the one that was ready for a family, long before I was, so of course he was thrilled when we finally got pregnant. I think it didn't hit him until the ultrasound appointment at 20 weeks. Then he started freaking out. He was running around mumbling, "We're having a baby!!" Duh!! I think that's why his enthusiasm catches me off guard with this pregnancy. I guess he knows what's coming now and knows what to expect!! ;) We had a dinner party last weekend, and for the first time, he actually said that he wanted this baby to be a boy. He's hinted to me a few times that he'd maybe he'd like to have three and try for a boy!! Ha! I'm sure you can imagine how receptive I am to that idea at the moment!? He's a funny, funny guy!! Now is NOT the time . . . ask me again in say, two years.
My skin is continuing to do some weird stuff. I broke out early in my pregnancy, which is pretty typical, but now it's really dry. The skin under my eyes is actually flaking. Let me tell you, this is NOT attractive. Sometimes I wake up and it's really red under my eyes too, almost like I've been punched. I finally got the redness to go away, but the flakiness is still there. I'm tempted to go to my dermatologist, although I doubt there's anything they can do while I'm pregnant. Makeup just makes the area look worse, and believe me, I need to use some concealer to hide those bags under my eyes!!
And, speaking of skin problems. I am sooooo itchy!! By the end of the day, I am ripping my bra off, just so I can itch without restrictions! I've been experimenting with different creams, and so far, nothing really seems to help. I remember being really itchy when I was pregnant with Maddie. In fact, one night, I actually scratched off a mole!!
I'll try and refrain from inadvertently removing any moles this pregnancy. Hey, we're almost half way there!! Isn't this going by quickly?