Weeks 13 & 14
~ Busy and Exhausted
Sorry I am combining the last two week; I had no time to update and the time I did have I was way too tired. They say you are supposed to regain your energy in the second trimester but I don't believe I've been so tired the whole pregnancy. Luckily, aside from first thing in the morning, my "morning sickness" had subsided. I still get nauseous from time to time but it's usually just because I am hungry. I guess my tummy has gotten bigger but I don't notice much, I still just feel really fat! haha.
I guess I'll get on with the things that happened in the past two weeks. First, I finally passed my road test and am a licensed driver. I don't have a car so it's pretty frustrating because I can't drive or anything. But, at least it's an achievement. We got to see the high risk doctor and to our surprise we got an ultrasound too. I don't know if I am high risk; we only saw the doctor for like 10 seconds so he could look at the ultrasound and then I got blood work and was told to come back on August 25th for my second draw and then they will determine if I am high risk or not.
My mom and my sister are really pushing us moving up to Connecticut so they can help me out but Ben doesn't graduate college until next June and he can't transfer because he gets a grant for being in a New Jersey college. I know it will be better for both of us (or shall I say all three of us) to get out of his parents' house. He doesn't get along with them very much so there is a lot of yelling and swearing and it's just not something I am used to, talking to your parents like that. His mom likes to threaten to kick us out and stop paying for his car and it's such bull cause she would never actually do it but he gets so mad and then he is punching walls and screaming. I got really upset the one night and I was crying and she came in screaming at him "why did you make her cry!" and I was like "you both did, I can't do this, this isn't how family talks to each other!" I also used some other choice words and I was so upset and shaking that I couldn't breathe and then like twenty minutes later she came in like nothing happened. I am so unhappy here but I don't feel right just being like "Ben, I am going to Connecticut, I'll see you when I see you." So for now I am just dealing. We'll see what happens.
Ben has been working tons which leaves me alone a lot; it's kinda depressing and since I am still so sick I am feeling kinda disconnected from this whole experience. I feel like I've had the flu for a few months and I break down sometimes not knowing if I can actually say I love this baby; I don't even feel like there is a baby. It's been a tough few months but I am going to the doctor for my 16 week appointment next week, even though I won't be 16 weeks til Thursday, and I plan on mentioning all this to my doctor.
I guess that's all. I am sorry I had to bundle my weeks but with the puking and consent headaches I didn't have the energy to stare at the screen and rack my brain to remember what's been going on. Even this was a struggle. I hope you other mommas are having a better time then I am.
Until next week (: