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Bridget's Pregnancy Journal

Weeks 19 & 20
~ Ugh. Preggo Brain

I have very little fully functioning brain cells left. After having two children and being pregnant with my third, I seem to have lost all ability to form complete sentences, coherent thoughts or draw intelligent conclusions. It's scary. Ally's not helping things. She wakes up with the chickens and it seems to take me the better part of the morning to get going, only to completely fizzle out by lunchtime.

I can't make a decision to save my life. I had this problem when I was pregnant with Maddie. I remember it being about 8 weeks before my due date and I still hadn't bought her any furniture. One Saturday, fed up with my flakiness, Tom drove me to a baby furniture store and told me we weren't leaving until we had purchased a crib, a dresser and a glider for her. So here I am, debating what to do with the girls. We've got four bedrooms, but our guest room gets used frequently. When my mom comes to stay, it's not just overnight, it's for a week or two, and my dad and his wife stay for several days as well. All of Tom's brothers and sisters live out of state and a few times a year, they stay with us. So, I'd like to keep our guest room a guest room. It's got a private bath off it and that's really nice for guests.

I wouldn't hesitate putting two boys in a room together. They seem to not care about particular things quite as much as little girls do. Maddie is my type A, driven, particular, "everything belongs in its spot" girl. Ally's only two, but doesn't seem to share her sister's affinity for neatness and order. They're a bit like the Odd Couple, with Maddie being Felix... or is it Oscar? See!? I can't remember. I just remember that they were opposites. Some of you probably have no idea who the Odd Couple even is! I'm just old. Where was I going with this? Oh yeah, the girls. Back to the girls. Their sleep schedules are really different. Ally wakes up at the crack of dawn and Maddie sleeps in. They do go to bed at roughly the same time. The trouble is they both nap in the afternoon but the timing is different and I'm really, really afraid of messing with that. Children need their sleep and I'm a mommy who needs their children to sleep and be rested. So, it's complicated because I make it complicated. I over-think everything.

I thought I had it figured out. I would just buy Ally twin bunk beds, keep the girls in their own rooms for as long as I possibly can. But by doing the bunks, if we had to put them in the same room together, they'd each have their own bed and plenty of room for dressers and bookshelves and things. Well, Tom was adamant about not doing two twins. Maddie is in a queen now and he thinks we should just buy Ally a full or queen too. They won't outgrow it as quickly. Never mind Ally's already sleeping on a twin mattress on the floor that I just bought two months ago. I just love wasting money! Argh! Ok, I thought about Tom's point and agreed and was looking at a twin over a full bunk bed. Well, that doesn't work either. You can't separate them and have them look like normal beds. The full will always have a headboard and a footboard that are the same height and that just looks goofy. So, driving around on Monday, I came to the conclusion that I should just scrap the bunk bed idea and get Ally a full bed with a twin trundle. That way if we put the girls together, they'll each have their own bed. It's not our intention to have them room together for long anyway. Either we're finishing off our basement and we'll create a little guest suite down there, or we'll be moving due to Tom's job (don't even get me started on that one) and we'll just find a house that has the appropriate amount of bedrooms.

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It took me a very long time to come to this. It's not good. I hate that I can't think clearly. It drives me nuts. So anyway, I'm still looking for her furniture, but I haven't found anything that I love yet. Getting her a bed isn't that big of a deal; she's happy on the floor, but I do need her dresser to start getting baby things ready. The few sleepers and onesies that I have that aren't pink, he can wear and I should get started on going through the bins of baby clothes that are stashed away in the basement.

I still have shopping on my mind though. Nordstrom is having their anniversary sale right now and there are a pair of lovely Cole Haan shoes that I've been admiring for the better part of two weeks. They're almost half off right now and even though they're still on the expensive side, I easily can convince myself to make the purchase. I tend to ignore what's going on from my neck to my ankles and I splurge on things like great shoes, makeup and skin care. So, I went shopping with the intention of buying these shoes. They're black (can one ever have too many black shoes?) pointy-toes, little kitten heel, silver little buckle-thing across the front and open back. Totally adorable. Well, the size was right, but my feet are so swollen that they hurt, pretty much from the moment I wake up, so I wasn't even prepared that by the end of the day when I tried them on that I wouldn't be able to stuff my feet into them. I got them on, but the tops of my feet were pudging out the tops and they looked hideous. The salesman was gentle and suggested that although I wouldn't be pregnant forever, these shoes would be waiting for me when I was ready for them. I considered buying them anyway but I couldn't make myself spend $100 on a pair of shoes that a: I couldn't get my feet into easily and b: that would hurt like hell if I did buy them. Sigh.... So, I did some sympathy shopping at Sephora and bought lots of new skin care and makeup. And speaking of which, if you're a product junkie like me, you'll appreciate this, or maybe you've already discovered it for yourself but I bought a small size jar of Fresh's brown sugar facial scrub. Oh my is that stuff wonderful!! I've looked at it several times and I'm so glad I decided to pick it up. What a fun product. It smells good enough to eat and it's great for exfoliating all that dead skin off. See? I told ya I was focusing on my face and ignoring the stuff that's happening below.

At my last OB appointment, I was whining about still being tired and not getting that wonderful second trimester energy burst. I attribute it to being old, being pregnant and chasing after two little people, which she agreed was most likely the case but wanted to have my thyroid checked just in case. Well, as suspected, it came back normal. A little on the low end of the normal range, but still normal. I certainly wasn't hoping for thyroid problems, just a reason why I feel so exhausted. She asked about my prenatal vitamins, which of course I can't take because I throw them up, so I take Flintstones. When she asked me how many I was taking I said, "Only one. How many should I be taking?" She said three. Hmmmm, maybe that will help? Well, subtly, I think it has. It's been about two weeks now and I think I feel a very slight difference in my energy level. It's not enough energy to call it a burst, but I think maybe the extra iron is helping a teensy bit. Ugh. Is it November yet? Please tell me the next 20 weeks will go by quickly.....

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