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Cammie's Pregnancy Journal

Week 19
~ Sweet Little Baby!

We had our "screening" ultrasound on Friday and so far so good! The baby was not very cooperative - he moved for every picture, stayed curled up when the sonographer was trying to get limb measurements, and he wouldn't turn to face us for a good "memento" picture. This is exactly what BG was like for her ultrasound. They didn't get a great picture of the heart, so we have to go back in two weeks when the baby is a little bit bigger. We are not finding out what we are having, much to many people's dismay. I really enjoy the surprise, and it doesn't bother me not being able to buy the right color clothing and accessories. Of course, I completely understand those who fall on the other side of the fence - my sister is one of them. She HAS to know, so she can plan and organize. Fortunately, since her little boy is the same age as BG, I have plenty of clothing in all colors to choose from. We even have a plethora of newborn boy clothes, since he was born five weeks early. I can't wait to meet this new little bundle of joy!

As for my appointment following the ultrasound, I had to see someone other than my usual doctor. I love my doctor, so it is always hard to see another provider. It's not that I don't like most of the other practioners; I just feel really comfortable with my doctor. He is the best. I elected to see one of the midwives (you can't see another doctor, just a mid-level provider). The midwife asked me if I was going to have a VBAC, to which I replied "No." Kudos to all of you who are willing to try that out, but it is definitely not for me! I had three contractions prior to my first delivery, and I am happy to say that I consider that a completely fulfilling labor experience for the rest of my life. Bring on my scheduled c-section, and hey, if the baby decides to come a few days early, bring it on a little sooner than planned! I know A LOT of people don't agree with this, and pretty much every book published encourages women to have a VBAC (some do more than encourage - talk about a guilt trip). At the beginning of this pregnancy I struggled with feeling terrible about not wanting to go through labor and (hopefully) a vaginal birth. But, I LOVED my c-section, it was so pain-free and I recovered so quickly. Am I being selfish? I think I will be a better new momma for the second time if I am not freaking out about labor, and then not progressing, or having a terrible episiotomy laceration (I know, I know, I have an incision from my section, but I know exactly where that puppy is and how long, and it does not involve any of my important plumbing!). Of course, I've also heard a couple of terrible horror stories about uterine ruptures and term babies that didn't make it because of that. Still, at times (especially after reading one of my pregnancy books), I feel like I am not being a WOMAN if I don't long to have a vaginal delivery. But I don't. I just want to go in and know what is going to happen. I'll give all you other mommas a standing ovation after you have a vaginal delivery! Go you guys!

~ Cammie

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