Second Trimester Thoughts, Part 1
~ How Will I React to Labor?
I failed to say in my introduction that when I first found out I was pregnant this time around, it was a joyous time, yet a nervous time. Of course I could not rest until I passed the tenth week (when I lost the last baby), and then until I was out of the third month. Just knowing that I lost a baby and there was no reason why (at least the doctor couldn't tell me why other than it was just one of nature's way of aborting a not perfect baby), I knew that it could happen again. I felt sorry for my husband. I was too nervous to even engage in sex during that time because I didn't want to do anything that might aid in a miscarriage. He's a wonderful man and I love him dearly, but I felt awful about depriving him. He was very patient with me because he loves me as well and was worried about me. He knew that I just couldn't deal with another miscarriage. We shared intimate time together....but I did put up walls and things were different.
Well, things have progressed greatly from then. <g> I'm sorry to be so graphic here, but I must say that now, I have the sex drive of a 16 year old boy probably <g>. There are times when I feel that I am in a constant state of arousal. I can't explain it. Don't understand it. But hubby is loving it! <g> And he too is just going ecstatic and says that he feels "addicted" to me. A lot of it has to do with the physical changes that pregnancy puts the body through. I won't go into detail, but let's just say that he loves it! <g>
Today is Saturday. Monday begins a new pregnancy week for me. I thank God every day and every week for the continued growth and development of my baby. When I first felt the baby move, I broke down and cried. And cried. And cried <g>. I never felt my other baby move and that fact stayed with me for a long time. So, to feel life this time was almost unbearable!
I've somehow attached a nickname to this baby. I call him/her "boo-boo" (like Yogi Bear and Boo-boo). Don't ask me why, because I don't know myself. Every time the baby moves, I say, "hello boo-boo." This baby is extremely active. I mean, I wonder if he/she ever sleeps. Now I feel TRUE kicks (not the butterfly sensation). I can swear I feel a hand nudging me, and there are times when I feel the baby ROLL over or around! It's incredible.
Jerry still has not been able to feel the baby. Poor thing. I grab his hand and say, "feel that!" He feels nothing! <g> I can't remember when he was finally able to feel the other babies. I can't understand how he doesn't feel those kicks and jabs when they're so strong.
Wednesday night I had a TERRIBLE toothache! I've never had a toothache in my life. I went ballistic because the pain was so unbearable. I took tylenol, used orajel, but nothing worked. I ended up calling my doctor late that night in tears and begging him to give me something for the pain. He couldn't do it because that would mean that I needed something with narcotics. He can't call in such prescriptions because it has to be written. He told me to get to the dentist first thing Thursday morning. I ended up not going because I knew that I HAD to be to work on Thursday and Friday. I also knew that I HAD to be at VBS that night and Friday. I didn't know what type of shape I would be in after having a tooth pulled. Besides, I had to teach the adult class in VBS Thursday night and I was actually looking forward to it. So, I made an appointment for Saturday (today). It turned out that it was my wisdom tooth that was bad (it had a whole in it the x-ray revealed). I begged the dentist to pull it because I was still in pain and didn't want to receive any patch up treatment. I didn't want the pain to continue. He spoke to my OB and got the okay to pull it and administer the Novocaine. He also prescribed an antibiotic, but told me that for pain I could take nothing BUT Tylenol. Not even Motrin, he said.
Can you believe that I was afraid of the SHOT?! <g> Well, I've never liked needles and getting shot in the mouth isn't the most pleasant of feelings. I did panic somewhat when he administered the shot. Well, actually, I cut up when they were taking the x-ray. I couldn't breathe! They stuck something way in the back of my mouth to keep it opened, but I gag very easily. Have always been that way. And I couldn't breathe! That made me panic. The assistant kept telling me to calm down and breathe through my nose. Somehow, after about three tries, they were successful in taking the x-ray.
All of this made me wonder how am I going to react through labor! To me, receiving an I.V. is painful! And I plan on having an epidural this time around as well. I think I'll be alright with that because I've had them before, but I wonder if I'll act like a big cry baby when true contractions hit me! Will I give the nurses and doctor a hard time? Will I act like a fool? It's been ten years, and though I remember it being painful, I don't remember just how painful! So, if I'm acting like a baby now just getting a tooth pulled, how will I act during labor? I hope I don't embarrass myself!