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Carrie's Pregnancy Journal

Week 25-26
~ GaGa For Baby!

I am so amazed at how "gaga for baby" I've become! I'm just so caught up with the idea of this latest blessing and love feeling her, thinking of her and preparing for her!

My husband was a little dubious. I ordered a "stack" of used books on labor. Some were a little "weird" . . . others were extremely helpful and helped me to see that I can face this task again! I always tend to dread labor. My last three pregnancies found me crying in the middle of the night just thinking about it! This time, I feel a sense of calm. I still don't want to do it, but I feel as though the Lord will be with me, holding my hand.

The two books I highly recommend are, The Birth Book by Sears and Easing Labor Pain by Adrienne B. Lieberman. They are encouraging and informative, even to me . . . a "ninth-timer". And they don't offer the unrealistic idea of a "painless labor". Just validation and bunches of advice that makes you realize you can do this! Knowledge and preparatory reading like this really does help to wipe away some of that fear!

Well, two baby dresses are finished. But I wish to make several more, at least. And I'm presently finishing sewing the baby's fitted diapers so she will have fresh, clean ones for use. I still have to finish her baby blanket and make her some booties. And I have a diaper bag pattern I wanted to try out.

I would really like to get a sling-type carrier so I can still get things taken care of around the house, while tending the baby, after she arrives. The last several babies found me feeling annoyed and frustrated at my inability to do the things I needed to do. I've missed having a carrier!

And little things, like baby wash, baby shampoo, diaper covers, etc . . . are on my want-to-buy-before-baby-arrives list.

The baby seems to have become more active. I am wondering if it isn't due to the stress I've been experiencing this past week. It's been a bit of an emotional roller-coaster, here. I seriously believe an unborn baby can sense this in a mother, and reacts to the hormones her body puts out. Now I am wondering if this means I've just "messed things up" and "doomed" myself to another colicky baby? A contented newborn would be such a welcome pleasure after the eight months of colic we experienced with our last baby (as much as we love him!).

The other night, in the bathtub, I was shocked at how busy the baby was. I told my husband it was almost frightening. It always amazes me that the skin doesn't "give way" and "tear" revealing a little foot or fist! -- The baby is already so strong! I could feel one part of her body (her head or shoulders, perhaps?) bump heavily up against my right hip bone while a foot simultaneously plunged forth up high on the left of my abdomen, pressing outward. It created a splash in the water, and the book I held (yes, I'm guilty of "soaking" for relaxation once the children are in bed and the house is quiet!) was thrust upward!

There's a person in there! -- It thrills me every time! Never mind that this isn't my first, or even my fifth baby! I've gone through this part nine times, now, and it's new every time!

I thought we'd finally decided on a name for the baby. We were in the car on our way to meet my mother-in-law, this past weekend, when my husband suggested a few first and middle name combinations. One he mentioned really stuck fast: Hannah Sophia. I adored it! -- But, this afternoon, my husband expressed doubts about it. So . . . we're still not set on a name, I guess.

I am shocked by how uncomfortable I already am feeling. Rolling over in bed, for example, is like trying to roll a bus over from one side to the next. I have to support my abdomen and roll carefully -- it's so heavy! If I'm not careful when I move, I get a tight contraction and/or severe round ligament pain. Ouch. Just going up the staircase is a feat deserving of a medal! My heart beats faster, and it's harder to breathe. Am I really that out of shape?

I have been comparing past labors -- something that I am sure is natural for all mothers who are on a subsequent pregnancy -- and have to admit that the "easy" ones had me in better shape. I spent time "practicing" things like squatting naturally, doing tailor stretches and suchlike. It really did help in late pregnancy/labor/birth! So . . . I've been trying to do better about these things, again. It's humbling. Squatting looks so very, very simple. But until you have a large weight in front to set you off balance, and several other bulky pounds, getting down is hard! And, let's not even talk about the task of rising back to standing! Eek!

I am a bit concerned, if I am going to be truthful, about the fact I still have about three months to go. How can I get bigger!? I already look due, now!

I am still experiencing mild nausea, if you'd believe it. I've never had it this long, in any of my past pregnancies. By four months, it was done and over. But this time, it just wants to "hang onto my skirt" and refuses to leave me be! Tonight, I'm feeling especially poor. I "soothe" myself by acknowledging that "this too shall pass" . . .

We had our level-2 ultrasound and meeting with the perinatologist at the hospital, this forenoon. There appears to be no clefting, and all else looked good. It was a relief, of course, but we were confident that if anything would have shown up, we would have dealt graciously with it.

Frankly, it's been high on my mind, this time around. I was actually quite certain something might be "wrong". In fact, I expected it. Both due to my age (on my medical form, today, for example they had down: "reason for exam: elderly grand multipara" -- elderly!?) as well as the fact this baby's "habits" have been so "unique" . . . God has been too good to us. I guess I partly assumed, having had so many "normal" children, we would finally be blessed with a "special" one.

The technician and the doctor we spoke with after the ultrasound commented on how nicely our baby scanned, and we were told that she was 2 lbs, 2 oz according to their estimates. Some measurements were exactly where they should be . . . others were at week 28, ahead of schedule.

I have had a hard time, this past couple weeks, dealing with depression. I have a tendency toward it, anyway. But for some reason, it's been worse. I am going to talk to my doctor about it Thursday, at my next appointment. I share this bit of "news" with difficulty, as it's somehow quite humiliating. But, I know there are others who are fighting this problem, and I do not want them to feel alone!

I also have experienced more difficulty in the area of sleep, if that's possible. I'm averaging about 4-5 hours per night, so try to nap daily when the four littlest ones go down for their own afternoon naps. But, at night, I find that should I wake up, it's nearly impossible to fall back to sleep. Calcium supplements taken at bedtime sometimes are helpful. This seems to help my restless legs as well. And on really bad nights, I take 5-HTP. It works for me, within fifteen minutes to half an hour.

Until next week, I suppose I will close.

Enjoy your families!

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