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Carrie's Pregnancy Journal
 

Week 32
~ More Energy? Or Just More "Together"?

Well, I can "cross off" week 32, now! It's done and over! We're moving quickly toward labor-day!

I had another doctor's appointment, Monday. They come every two weeks now. I rather like it, though it admittedly eats up our mornings. Somehow, it makes this baby seem very close. It's exciting! The doctor had me go in for a hematocrit blood draw and sent me to a nearby physical therapist to have a "pregnancy belt" given to me. He said it might increase my comfort and said there was a chance it could "tighten" my abdominal area enough where the baby had a better chance of turning on her own. The belt definitely helps a little . . . but I wonder if I don't need more support. The therapist told me I might, but that this was the only one that they had in stock there, presently. She told me to call her if I'd like to try another. I'm considering it. In the meantime, this bit of "support" is nice. I cannot wear it all day, as it "slips" and needs readjusting. So, I only wear it a few hours a day, when I am up on my feet a lot.

I ordered a special 5-week (herbal) antenatal formula that the local midwife recommended. It is supposed to prepare the uterus, help labor to begin on time, and ensure a more effective labor. And, if I end up with a cesarean, I was told that the herbs will help to tone the uterus postpartum as well. I am anxious to see how it works with my system in a couple weeks. My stomach is sensitive, so I am praying it doesn't make me sick!

The baby continues to be breech. Or, when her mood shifts, she goes transverse. An elderly friend of mine told me jokingly that it was time to tell the baby she's had enough of "sitting up, and looking around", and that it was time to insist she "lie down" and get ready to greet us all. I've been doing "exercises" to help the baby turn, to no avail. Maybe I need to do them more often? I'd really like to avoid the external version the doctor wants to attempt at 37-38 weeks. There are risks, and I understand it can be painful.

I've been dying of itching, this past week especially. Ohhhh but it feels like I have a gigantic mosquito bite. The itchiness will not quit. Lotion doesn't help. Nothing does.

The first half of this week was a bear to get through. I was feeling very emotional and drained. But, I suddenly realized it was up to me to make things better. It was because of my bad attitudes, again, that I was wasting precious time feeling miserable! We are what we think. How we "talk to" ourselves really has a great effect on us! Yes, I'm exhausted and uncomfortable. But this baby is thriving and healthy. And the Lord has blessed us with so many other things, too. This pregnancy is very temporary, and soon I will be holding this baby (Lord willing!) and all the discomfort will be nothing but a memory.

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So... in the meantime shouldn't I be patient, cheerful and content? -- What am I teaching my other children when I go around moping and cross? And how could my husband possibly be drawn irresistibly to a wife that seems consistenly unhappy!?

I realized part of my problem was that my days had fallen away from the nice, solid "routine" I set up some time ago. Running my house was no longer one of order. Things got done, but barely. The children were discontent. Probably because I wandered around with a frown most of the time. I revamped my household schedule, got the children back to doing their schoolwork on a daily, regular basis and forced myself to be cheerful. Things are so much more improved! My whole family is happier for it, and my house is falling back into one of peaceful order.

Also nice... I have more energy! -- It's amazing what depression can do to a person's energy level. It just saps you dry! The hardest part is forcing yourself out of broodings over self! But when you do it, there is a reward!

My blood pressure is still nice and low. I wonder if it will stay this way? I'd love it if it did!

Everything feels like a sweet adventure. I'm just waiting to see how things unfold. It's fun!

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