Week 16 ~ May 21, 2004
~ "When are you due?"
I think I can now say that I am officially showing. A woman I've never met before asked me yesterday, "When are you due?" Later, I realized that I must look definitely pregnant for someone to ask me a question like that. I like this part of pregnancy.
I got a pregnancy massage this past week, which was heavenly. The massage therapist that I see fairly regularly set up her massage table for me this time so that I could lie on my side, and then switch to the other side half-way through. There were pillows all around, supporting me, and I felt so relaxed.
I've been getting dizzy when I stand up after sitting for awhile. I've read that this is normal in pregnancy, but it can be a sign of low blood sugar. I think I need to eat more. I am getting more interested in food, but I still don't like preparing it. I lose my appetite when I work on making something, so I have to have simple snacks around that are easy for me to grab. I have been enjoying grapefruit, bagels with cream cheese, bowls of cereal and trail mix.
Charon is finishing up with preschool now, and I'm looking forward to spending the summer days with her. We have a few activities planned: trips to visit friends and family, swimming lessons, a couple of summer "camps" that meet for one week for just a few hours a day. I think I've left enough room also for some quiet, lazy summer days where we decide what to do when we get up in the morning. This will be our last summer with just the two of us, and I want to enjoy it to the fullest.
Charon seems very ready to be a big sister. When she was about 3 1/2, and we were thinking about adding a baby to our family, we'd sometimes ask her, "Do you think you'd like a little brother or sister someday?" Her response was always, "No. Nothing. Zero. Just me." She was so serious about this that we started to wonder if she would ever be ready for a sibling.
When I told her about my miscarriage, she also let me know that she'd be just fine if she were the only kid in our family. Pete and I talked about whether or not to try again, and we agreed that our family would be complete and beautiful if we only had Charon. I really wanted to give her a sibling, though. I have a brother and a sister; we had a great time together as children, and we care about and support each other now that we are adults.
So, I began to prepare her a bit before we started trying again. "You'd be a wonderful big sister," I told her. I explained that Daddy and I might try again to see if we could make another baby. We reminisced together about her babyhood, and talked about her little cousin Louis, whom she's seen growing up into an active little toddler. She started to play with her stuffed animals, pretending they were babies and that she had to care for them. She loved to act like she was a baby again, and hear stories about her birth and what she was like and what we did together in those early days.
When I told her we had conceived, and that we hoped she'd be a big sister sometime around Halloween, I remember her smiling and looking like this was something she did want to happen, now. She's been patting my belly and talking to the baby in my womb ever since. She's getting herself ready, and it's so fun to watch.