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Week 17 ~ May 25, 2004
~ Still tired...
Okay, I know I'm in the second trimester now. So, where is the energy I'm supposed to be getting back? I just read the chapter for Month Four in the Sears' Pregnancy Book, and I'm envious of this woman:
"I'm in my thirteenth week and feel I've just returned to life. I now want to eat, make love, go shopping, and even my job is no longer the all-day nightmare of falling asleep at my desk between trips to the bathroom!"
Argh. And here I am, still feeling like I need to lie down after doing something as simple as folding a load of laundry. Just getting Charon and myself fed and washed up and clothed each day is a magnificent feat. On the days that I get the dishwasher unloaded and loaded, Pete comes home to hear me brag about it, as if I've just climbed Mt. Everest.
Speaking of climbing, Charon and I went to visit my sister and her little boy twice this last week. Louis is almost 16 months old, and I can't believe the energy it takes to play with him. He loves to explore, and as he is still learning the complexities of the earth's gravitational pull, he constantly needs a spotter. On Tuesday, I spent about twenty minutes with him on the stairs. He would climb up two or three steps, then stand up and turn around and grin at me, balancing on the edge, wobbling to see if I'd reach to catch him. (Of course I did, every time, and then he'd push me away and scurry up a few more steps.) I am now in awe of pregnant women who must also care for toddlers.
Charon loves Louis, and he adores her. They hug a lot when they see each other now. It's funny to watch because they both lean completely into each other, start to teeter a bit, and then usually fall down together. I figure they are probably both used to hugging grown-ups.
I can't wait for Charon to be able to hug this baby who's growing inside me. She tries it now, by wrapping her arms around my belly. When she does, she usually croons, "Pen-guin!" (her nickname for this baby.) I tell her Penguin is thinking, "Wow, I have such a wonderful big sister!" She tells me that Penguin is saying, "Who's that? Is that my mama?" I explain to her that I don't think I could hug my belly quite that way, much less press my lips against it and speak. "Besides," I explain, "Penguin is starting to recognize our voices now. S/he will recognize your voice before s/he sees you. Isn't that neat? Penguin knows you're her/his big sister."
By the way, it's hard to figure out which pronouns to use for Penguin when talking about her/him with Charon. She is tired of people asking her if she thinks the baby's a boy or a girl, and answers with a bored, "I don't know" every time. Our 20-week ultrasound is coming up, but I think we're going to wait this time to find out little Penguin's gender. With Charon, we did peek, and it was fun to be able to call her by her name so early. But I wasn't interested in dressing her in girly frills, or decorating the nursery in a gender-specific way, so there really wasn't much reason to know. Also, as this baby starts to grow bigger and move inside me, I'd like to know it as a person first, before thinking of it as a girl-person or a boy-person.
Pete, on the other hand, would like to find out. He explains that otherwise he will just keep picturing this baby as a boy. He said he could keep it a secret if I let him peek, but if he knew, I think I would be too tempted to know, too!
I thought I'd have Charon break our tie. I explained that we could find out soon, or we could wait until the baby was born. I thought she'd want to know, but she surprised me. "Let's wait," she said, with no hesitation. And I think that's what we will do.
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