|
Week 30 ~ August 15, 2004
~ Search for a Doula
We are planning to hire a doula for this birth. With Charon, I thought about finding a labor support person because I'd read about how much it can help the mother to cope in labor. But I wasn't sure I'd want a "stranger" with me. Pete and I decided to ask my mom to be there for us for labor support. She agreed, saying she'd like to read a book about childbirth before the experience. I think we asked her on a Saturday, and my water broke that Sunday, so she didn't have time to read, but she was a tremendous help to us. I still remember her putting cold washcloths on my face. (I was really hot, and kept telling them to turn the heat down. I found out later that they were all shivering in that cold room!) I also remember being very hungry, eating some grapes, and then having to throw them up a few minutes later. I didn't say anything, but Mom knew my upset-tummy signals and had a bowl for me right there when I needed it.
I did have one lead on a doula that last time, even though I'd decided against researching further. My cousin, who was due around the same time I was, needed to go to the hospital about six weeks before her due date because her water started leaking. They kept her in the hospital to monitor her and the baby, and were able to put off the birth for about a week. During that time, a doula came to see her because she'd seen her last name and wondered if she was me. She was the parent of a student I'd had my first year of teaching. She told my cousin how much I'd helped her daughter, who'd been going through a rough time, and when R---- told her I was pregnant, too, she offered her services to me for free. R---- couldn't remember her name, and I scanned my memory for a 7th grade girl who'd experienced a tough time that year. I came up with many of them! Adolescence is such a difficult road for so many young girls to travel. Boys, too.
For this birth, my parents will be taking care of Charon, so I need to find a new labor support person for Pete and I. After Charon's birth, I know I'll be okay with having people there that are "strangers," as long as there aren't too many of them and they are quiet and focused on me and the work I am doing. And I know my doula will be one of the more familiar people to me, as she will meet with me a couple of times before the birth to prepare.
There is an organization is my area that helps match women to doulas. They host parent topic nights once a week in several different locations; future parents and siblings are invited to come and learn more about the process of birth. Several doulas attend these meetings each week, which gives parents a chance to visit with them and pick someone that fits their wants and needs.
But I am having a very hard time deciding who to talk to further. I like many of the doulas I've met for different reasons, and I'm trying to picture the kind of personality that will help me most when I am giving birth. When I think back to Charon's birth, I liked it when people were focused on me, talking to me quietly or just being silent and watching, and letting me express to them what helped and what didn't. I often couldn't express myself very well, though, as I was having to go inward to deal with the pain, and I appreciated the people who could just look at me and how I was acting and make good guesses as to how I was feeling. (Pete and my mom were the best at this.)
I was induced by pitocin with Charon, as my contractions were not at all intense or regular 12 hours after my water broke. I remember worrying that the labor would be incredibly painful, because I'd heard women who had experienced both induction and natural birth say that induction is much worse. But I handled the pain very well. I did get to the point where I said, "Okay, I think this is about all I can deal with. I think I might need something now." From what I've read and heard, almost all women get to the point in labor where they vocalize that they don't think they can do it anymore, and usually this signals transition, which means the second stage of labor, pushing the baby out, is right around the corner. This was the case for me. My nurse encouraged me to try one or two more things, and then said she'd check me after that. Sure enough, I was fully dilated at that point and ready to push.
Except that I didn't particularly feel the urge to push yet. The intern and nurse explained to me how to push, giving me directions about what the most productive way would be for each contraction. The contractions no longer bothered me when I pushed through them, but I never felt comfortable with the way I was pushing, or the position I was pushing in (sitting/reclining on the bed with my mom and Pete holding my legs up for me.) It took me 4 1/2 hours to push Charon out, and I still needed the help of the vacuum. I am glad they let me push for so long (I wasn't tired until the end, and I've heard of women being encouraged to try interventions much earlier), but I wish I could have had a chance to listen to my body a bit more. I remember everyone evaluating each push: silence and looking at each other if nothing seemed to be happening, shouts of "Yes! Good, Caryl!" when I was doing what I was "supposed" to do. I didn't feel in control of it myself, and more and more I found myself trusting what everyone else was saying instead of listening to my body.
So, I need a doula who will encourage me to do my own work in the pushing stage, I think. I need someone who will be able to read me to see what I feel is working, rather than evaluating my pushing abilities as we go. Birth is a marathon, and I need someone to feed my inner strength, not score me before the event is even over.
Doula Statistics
Researchers Kennell and Klaus et al. found among six studies:
Cesareans: Down 50%
Length of Labor: Down 25%
Pitocin: Down 40%
Forceps: Down 40%
Requests for Epidurals: Down 60%
For more information about doulas:
What Is a Doula?
Doula Information
|
