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Week 34 ~ September 12, 2004
~ Weight-lifting
I got to hold little Charlie today. He is my friend's newborn babe, just two weeks old. He knows his mama's voice, and whenever she spoke, he realized she wasn't the one holding him and he'd move his head to find her, then start to cry. We shuffled him back and forth a couple of times, but then he settled in to sleep in my arms. What a lovely feeling, holding a tiny one!
My arms are aching now. I should really be lifting weights or something to prepare for holding my own baby. I suppose I can just wait until Penguin is here; s/he can be my weight lifting exercise. I remember watching my arm muscles grow and bulge as Charon got bigger. I have skinny arms that the girls in junior high used to squeal over, and I hated it because it embarrassed me. Muscles were never apparent on them until Charon. She made me feel pretty strong!
Charon showed her strength this past week when she started kindergarten. I worried that I'd have to steel myself against the tears when I said good-bye to her, but really I was more excited for her than anything else. She was happy about going, which helped me a lot, I'm sure. She is working hard to be a kindergartener. It is going to be fun watching her grow this year. So many changes for her!
Pete's parents came this weekend to play with Charon so that Pete and I could run some errands. We are working on figuring out which car seat we should use for this new baby, and we are also looking for a new glider rocker. I used the one we had with Charon all the time. Now we've decided we want one with padded arms, and that also swivels and reclines; Pete would use it more if it could do these things. We ended up looking at La-z-boy recliners, and found one that might work, but it is so expensive! And it's not "pretty," if you know what I mean. Next thing you know, we'll be buying a mini-van! (Just kidding.)
It is very comfortable, except that I have long legs and my feet are just about off the edge when it reclines. All of them were like this, some more so than others. Also, I want one that has good back support when sitting in the upright position; most of them didn't feel comfortable to me that way, and my back is pretty sensitive right now, being that I've been carrying this weight around on my belly for a few months. Is there such a thing as an ergonomic recliner? Anyway, we'll look around a bit more before we plunk down all of that money.
I've interviewed three doulas so far, and liked them all for different reasons. None of them felt immediately perfect for me, but I think it takes time to develop a relationship. I have one more interview this coming week, and then I'm going to make a decision. It is a very interesting profession, and it's fun to see the different women that are attracted to it. All of them have a special feeling for the natural act of birth, a belief in the body's strength and ability to do this. All of them see the importance to the mother of having someone there to support her. The partner can do a lot, but it helps to have someone else there to support the couple through this amazing, intense, sometimes scary or overwhelming experience.
I am getting worried that we won't be ready for Penguin's arrival. There is still so much to do! My body is big and uncomfortable now, and I get really tired when I try to lift things. I've started to ask Pete to carry laundry baskets for me, and I feel like such a wimp, but it helps so much. I want to do so many physical things, but my body tells me to slow down and my mind tells me to zone out and rest up. I want to nest!
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