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Week 35 ~ September 20, 2004
~ Just Right
We picked out our new glider this weekend! Charon came with us and had a great time trying out the chairs. We found one that is considered "nursery furniture," and although it's not terribly attractive, it's comfortable and will do the job we want it to do. It glides, swivels and reclines, and comes with an ottoman that I can push out as far as I need to accommodate my long legs. Pete set it up last night, and we've all been taking turns sitting in it.
But that's not the biggest news from this past week. What I'm most excited about is that we finally hired a doula! I interviewed a fourth person on Tuesday evening, and just felt completely comfortable with her right away. I could absolutely picture her being there for Penguin's birth. She is calm, sweet, gentle, kind and smart. She has three kids, with three different birth experiences, so she has good perspective about birth and I know she will gently help us through ours, however it goes. I am confident that the hospital staff will love her, too.
It's funny, because the advice I got most often as I was looking for a doula was to imagine whom I could picture there with me. Who would we want to share this amazing experience with? A friend of mine who was a doula for some time said, "Remember that this is a one-time thing. Penguin gets this one birth, and that's it. It's so special to share that moment with someone. It is an honor to be asked to attend a birth, so take your time choosing, and wait until someone feels just right to you."
I liked lots of the doulas, but never had that "just right" feeling, and I was starting to think I was just being too picky. I couldn't even pinpoint why I couldn't commit to anyone yet. When I talked with this last woman, I could just see her there, making me feel more confident in labor, helping me to feel as comfortable as possible and proud of me for doing this work. She would let me do it, and let it be our birth.
It was hard to call the other three women that I interviewed, because I liked all three of them and know they are all good at what they do. I appreciated them taking the time to meet with me and listen to my questions, concerns and excitement about the birth. I ended up getting voicemail for all of them, so I left messages telling them I'd chosen someone else, but that I was grateful to them for the help they'd given me at my meetings with them. I would recommend all of them to others looking for a doula. Who knows whom you will connect with? These women could be the "just right" person for someone else I know.
I had another quick midwife appointment last week. My next one will be the 36-week appointment, and then I'll be going in every week! I asked my midwife a few questions about waterbirth, and told her I'd chosen a doula. I learned that they typically do a cervical check at 36 weeks, and then only at the appointments thereafter if you request one, as long as things are going along normally. I will have the group B strep test next time, too; if it comes back positive, they will give me antibiotics during labor through an IV. This will not prevent me from having a waterbirth, but I hate IVs and I really want to avoid one if I can. I am crossing my fingers that it comes back negative, and that I don't need an IV for any other reason (pitocin, fluids, etc.)
I'm starting to think a lot about the birth. I am getting a bit anxious about it, and I'm trying to tell myself that all will be fine, reminding myself that looking at that baby for the first time will be so incredible. I remember that moment with Charon: She was so completely done, I couldn't believe she'd just been inside me. So big, so strong, so wide-eyed and smart. She knew my voice, and Pete's, and looked at us intently, imprinting our faces onto her brain, working to figure out the world right away. She was incredibly beautiful and perfect in every way. She was "just right." I know I will feel that same pull, that same connection, with our Penguin, too, and I look forward to that amazing moment just after the birth.
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