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Week 36 ~ September 27, 2004
~ Care-giving
We got Charon together with her cousin Louis this past weekend. It's always fun to watch the two of them interact, and it makes me look forward to seeing her with a sibling. Charon thinks Louis is very cute and funny, and Louis closely observes whatever Charon does, and then tries to do it, too.
At one point, we were all singing. Charon took Louis's hands in hers to dance with him. Louis got excited, squatted down, and then popped back up, some fancy dance move he'd created himself. It would have been very cute, but with Charon standing so close to him, he knocked her in the chin on his way back up. Charon started crying, hard, and Louis was immediately concerned. I scooped Charon up to sit on my lap; we looked in her mouth and there was no blood. She was crying as much from the shock as from the pain. Then I looked over at Louis again, and he had such a worried look on his face. "Louis didn't mean to hurt you," I told Charon. "He was trying to dance in a funny way, and he didn't realize he'd bump into you when he did that. Look at him now. He feels really badly about it. Do you want to tell him you'll be okay?"
Charon looked over at Louis and stopped crying for a bit. She reassured him: "I will be okay, Louis. Don't worry." Louis liked hearing this; he's not quite two, and it's amazing how much he understands. He calls Charon "Purple," because it's her favorite color. "Purple?" he asked. "Yes, Purple's going to be okay, Louis. You are a sweetheart to worry about her," I told him.
Later, Charon went to the car with Pete to find a band-aid. Louis asked about "Purple" the whole time she was gone. When she got back, she put the band-aid on as if it were a mustache. Charon showed it to Louis, who pointed at it and asked if it hurt. "The band-aid is helping Charon feel better," we explained. All of us adults loved observing the two of them and the way they cared for each other.
Pete had Lasik eye surgery this week. I had plans for the evening of his surgery, and told him beforehand that I could easily cancel and be in charge of Charon for the night. He was confident that he'd be fine afterwards and could watch Charon.
My dad picked him up from the surgery, and when Pete got home, I knew I would need to cancel. His eyes were very sensitive to light, so he lay on the bed, listening to the speeches of the Republican convention that he had taped, while Charon and I took care of him. We brought him supper, reminded him when he needed to put drops in his eyes, and mostly left him alone. I realized it's not very often that I have to take care of Pete. When he's sick, he doesn't like special treatment. He accepted ours that evening, which made me know how much he needed it.
It was pretty amazing, though. His surgery was in the afternoon, and by Charon's bedtime, his eyes were wide-open and he was reading, watching television, really using them. I told him to be careful, but he was thrilled. "I can see really well! No glasses or contacts!" I reminded him to keep up with his drops, and went to bed early while he stayed up to finish reading about politics on the Internet.
In a month or so, it's going to be me that Charon and Pete are taking care of. I remember those first couple of weeks after Charon's birth, you could usually find me either nursing in the rocking chair or nursing on our bed. People brought me food, reminded me to soak in the tub at least twice every day, and kept me company when I was awake. I was learning so many things: how to change a diaper, dress a newborn, breastfeed, calm a crying baby, take care of my healing body and sneak in some sleep for myself. I don't remember feeling too overwhelmed, and I think that's because I had such great support. My parents spent lots of time over here, cooking and cleaning and visiting. Several people brought us meals. Everyone encouraged me with breastfeeding. Whenever I worried, people told me I was doing great, helped me to fit in time for my baths and for sleep. Mostly, I remember being in a "babymoon," gazing lovingly at my little Charon, this new baby in my life, my beautiful child. What a gift!
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